Note: Do not read on if you have not yet seen Season 1, Episode 5 of Fox's "The Mindy Project," titled Danny Castellano Is My Gynecologist.
Possibly the most uncomfortable episode of "The Mindy Project" to date, "Danny Castellano Is My Gynecologist" centers on -- you guessed it -- Mindy (Mindy Kaling) asking Danny (Chris Messina) to be her new gynecologist.
As the plot twists and turns around Mindy telling Danny he won't be able to do it because of his obvious feelings for her, the two engage in a highly personal questionnaire that leads them to angrily demand to know whether or not the other is sexually active.
Meanwhile, Jeremy (Ed Weeks) is on a quest to get his very fancy watch back, which he left at Mindy's apartment after banging her without having any intention of starting a relationship.
Things aren't going so well back at the office. Danny tells Mindy in so many words that she will inevitably get divorced and never have children, which leaves Mindy lying on the floor of her office griping to her overly perfect (and possibly unemployed?) best friend Gwen (Anna Camp) about the horrible life she'll lead.
Side note: Mindy hasn't been too lucky in love lately. In the episode's opening scene, her new love interest Josh easily pulls on her pants only to realize they're gigantic on him.
When Jeremy finally get his hands on his watch, he decides to take the high road and leave the watch with Mindy. After all, he's never been very good to her. Could this mean he's turning over a new leaf?!
As the half hour draws to a close, Mindy has to overcome her biggest challenge to of the episode: Allowing Danny weigh her. As he tinkers with the scale, Mindy musters all of her courage and tells herself she isn't Mindy, but a warrior ... named Beyonce Pad Thai.
After weighing her, Danny ends up chickening out just in time for the breast exam and announces he's taking a week off. Beyonce Pad Thai triumphs!
And now, a look at some of the more intriguing lines of Tuesday night's episode.
Arguably Offensive Lines:
Morgan, commenting on Mindy's apartment: "It's pretty cool she can afford this place on a woman's salary."
Mindy, when Gwen says "girl crush": "I hate it when people say girl crush. Just say crush, no one's going to think you're a lesbian."
Mindy to Gwen, as they're reminiscing about Gwen's marriage: "A year later, I'm maid of honor at the world's stuffiest wedding, and two years after that, you have some random baby."
Shauna to Jeremy: "No offense, but that excuse stinks. I told them you were helping a little black kid."
Mindy in her best "come hither" voice, to Josh: "I'm sorry. It's nothing, it's just that I got cold and put on your button down but it doesn't even fit me right because I'm just a girl."
Mindy to Josh, after realizing her pants are too big on him: "Leave your tie. I'm going to use it to hang myself."
Mindy to Danny, while answering questions about her sex life: "Condom etiquette. It's hard for women, you know? Because you want to have condoms, but you can't keep them by the bed because then it seems like you're, like, using them constantly ... So then you have to do that whole dance like, 'Oh, hey, I might have some somewhere from that bachelorette party I had as a goof!"
Betsy to Jeremy: "Here's your dumb watch. I found it in the nightstand next to a tube of really slippery toothpaste."
Out Of Context And Amazing One-Liners:
"If we're indulging in imaginary situations, I would like to introduce you to my husband: Straight Anderson Cooper."
"If I'm like a lamp to you, how come you couldn't be my gynecologist?"
"I was taking fish oil until the bottle rolled behind my fridge."
"You know when I die, in my will, I'll give all my money to Tina Fey ... I just think she would spend it in an interesting and responsible way."
"Gwen, that was like, crazy inspirational. I don't say this lightly: You should write magazine articles."
"You're not Mindy, you're a warrior. And your warrior name is ... Beyonce Pad Thai."
"The Mindy Project" airs Tuesdays at 9:30 p.m. ET on Fox.
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