*No more balcony envy.
*Senegalese umbrella guys pooling profits to buy GM building.
*Camp children weaving entire villages out of lanyard.
*Times Square tourists hogging fewer chairs.
*Easy excuse not to invite anyone to Hamptons.
*Especially if you don't own a place in the Hamptons anymore and hadn't been really talking that up.
*No more sun screen!
*No more sunburn!
*No more tan lines, however sexy these may seem to U.S. Senators.
*Oreo cookies get soggy one hour after opening package. Yum.
*Thin hair looks thicker.
*Thick hair looks funny. (Which makes us thin-haired people happy.)
*Lettuce having a boffo year.
*Puddle-soaked socks bring the great outdoors indoors. All day.
*Parents getting more time to play Candy Land..
*Kids getting more time to play Halo 3.
*Damp pets smell the way God intended.
*Money saved on picnic-in-the-park provisions helping to stretch severance pay.
*Easier to find holes in roof.
*Chance to finally organize digital photos of other summers, when people played outside, wore bathing suits and did that thing with their teeth. What's it called again?
*Oh yeah. Smiling.