Back by popular demand, my third 'Let's Bring Back ... " column.
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Let's Bring Back ...
1. Double-features. Perfect for long, rainy November afternoons, and for prolonging first-date make-out sessions. Let's also bring back pre-feature cartoon shorts!
2. Dressing nicely for travel and dinner. Because these days, going to restaurants and airports is an aesthetic nightmare.
3. Satirical political cabarets. The comeback of burlesque is perfectly delicious, but let's take it a step further. As we all know, sex and politics are a time-hallowed, natural mix. So let's bring that mix back to the stage, Liza-style.
4. Hobbies. And collections. Book collecting. Butterfly collecting. Bee keeping. Whatever. Hobbies are quaint, and it's nice to do something in which the process is the pleasure.
5. Three-piece suits. On men and women. Because they just look so smart.
6. Foreign languages. Learning French used to be an absolute prerequisite for cultured American women. Jackie Kennedy campaigned and entertained for her husband in both French and Spanish. Ask for Rosetta Stone for Christmas. Your chicness quota will skyrocket.
7. Game night. Scrabble, bridge, poker, whatever. A friend of mine points out that game nights used to serve as wonderful occasions to get soused and gossip and argue. And it does get so dreadfully boring to go to yet another couple-y restaurant dinner.
8. Old-fashioned Frigidaires. They are just so damn stylish. You just expect to open that heavy door and find ice-cold bottles of beer and yummy Betty Crocker icebox cakes inside.
9. Vintage cocktails. Today's far-fetched confection cocktails suck. I don't know about you, but I find the idea of a watermelon martini to be rather sickening. There's nothing like a good, manly Manhattan, or a crisp gin and tonic. I'm partial to Shirley Temples myself.
10. Baby bonnets. Soft, satin ones in white or pink. It's probably best to leave them off the boys, though. They'll hate you for it later.
11. Pocketwatches. Preferably an heirloom. It will make you look wonderfully old-world and curious. Plus, it removes the watch as a dull, ubiquitous status symbol.
12. Lovely, leisurely evening walks. After dinner, just a stroll around the neighborhood. Because window-peeping is always better at night.
13. Suspenders. Men in rolled up shirtsleeves and suspenders are hot.
14. Daisies. Like modern cocktails, modern flower arrangements can be so overwrought. It's so lovely to get an innocent, cheerful bouquet of daisies.
15. Intelligent opinioneering, which does not resort to personal attacks, and which is not solely in the service of shameless self-promotion.
Follow Lesley M. M. Blume on Twitter: www.twitter.com/lesleymmblume
Speaking of aesthetic nightmares in public places, let's bring back the tradition of wearing beautiful undergarments. It's far better to accidentally see a flash of beautiful lace or satin than a flash of someone else's private parts.
This is a nice pause for those of us who remember these things.
..the Ambian CR ad at the top of the comments provides contrast. xo
I love small children, and am actually related to some,even had them at one time,but do they really appreciate expensive restaurants at nine o'clock at night?
Speaking of small children,could they be taught to eat, at least a little, of what is put before them without complaint? Oh, whoops, that would mean bringing back eating dinner at a table,with the whole family in attendance.Hmm maybe we should bring back cooking? I know, everybody works all day, well guess what, they always did,maybe just at different things, like growing food, or doing laudry for seven people,or taking care of elderly relatives.
With all the frozen stuff out there,you actually can feed yourselves at home.
I would also like to bring back friendship, face to face, not texting and emailing, just talking over a cup of coffee.
Dressing nicely in clean clothes would be nice, chic is optional. Could we ban pajama bottoms and butt cracks from the grocery store?
I must sound very old and cranky, actually, I am neither, just wish we had a little respect for others and save some for ourselves.
On my list of things to bring back:
Chicken that looks like and tastes like chicken. In fact, bring back the entire pre-corn syrup food supply from 30 years ago.
Plays and musicals worth paying to see, that play for over 2 hours, with intermissions.
Movies shown without ads.
Great TV shows on Saturday and Sunday nights.
Unscheduled time for children to sit still and daydream once in a while.
My list of things we're lucky to have today that we didn't have 30 or 40 years ago is much longer.
I'm too full of vegan pumpkin pie to think of additions, but I'll mull it over. Happy Thanksgiving to you, and all at the Huffington Post.
1. Socialism. Remember when Milwaukee had a socialist mayor? It's past time to put big business in its place!
2. Women's movies. I mean stuff like NOW, VOYAGER and MILDRED PIERCE (I enjoy them and I'm a straight man!), not those chick flicks.
3. Women wearing neckties. Like before 1950.
4. Streetcars. They reduce global warming, too.
5. Meatless days. Like in both world wars.
6. Adventure-themed comic strips. Remember TERRY AND THE PIRATES?
7. Believing in the potential of the United Nations. It's still the last, best hope for world peace.
8. Bicycles. There was a time when they weren't dismissed as a children's toy.
9. Wanting to help poor people. Instead of seeing them as moochers.
10. Silent movies. A totally different art from from sound.
My politics are mad Socialist, but my populism flies out the window when it comes to dressing for plane travel. I will never forget a New York to Los Angeles business class flight where I was treated to the sight of another passenger's pale, gelatinous, fur-studded flanks protruding from a purple workout tank (as if) complemented by purple, green and black graphic Hammer pants for six hours.
If there was such a thing as a Fashion Tribunal, this guy would have been executed on the spot...
With the limited palette of fashion statements available to men, you'd think the hat would've been eagerly seized upon one of these years by stylish males looking for ways to dress up the same old suit and tie.
But, by and large, American males steadfastly avoid chapeaux of any kind. Even on the coldest days of the year, I see men walking around New York in heavy topcoats, scarves, and gloves, but they resolutely refuse to don a snap-brim fedora, a stately homburg, or that '57 Chevy of headgear, the classic porkpie ala Lester Young.
They say that when JFK strode bareheaded down Pennsylvania Avenue on inauguration day, he essentially killed the hat. I'll always wonder if it was the American Federation of Hat Makers (not the Cubans, CIA, or Mafia) who responded in kind.
As for the baseball cap, don't get me started. Remember the days when if you saw a grown man walking down a city street in a baseball cap, it was assumed he was "developmentally disabled"?