How To Live On $0 A Day: There Must Be Something Left You Can Sell
You probably think you've already sold everything you own that had any financial value. But chances are, you've still got a few possessions that you can really cash in on if you auction them off on eBay.
Unlike a garage sale, eBay keeps personal interaction down to a minimum and spares you the shame of alerting the neighbors that you're broke. eBay sells everything from baseball cards to virginity to Korans etched into the head of pins. And even in this economy, there always seems to be someone out there who wants to buy them.
So take a look around you with a fresh eye. Maybe you have a potato that looks like Abraham Lincoln (or Jesus on anything works). An old piece of ABC gum that was chewed by someone two degrees separated from Kevin Bacon. An ancient Roman coin dated 214 BC. A plot of swampland in Florida. A body part you're not using. Think outside the box.
Once you've decided on something to sell, how it's presented is critical to the price you get.
Composing the listing may be one of the rare instances in life where having writing skills can pay off.
Say you've decided to put one of your kidneys on the market. Here's the wrong way to list it:
One slightly used 45 year old kidney.
Opening bid: $9.99.
Shipping and handling: $86.95 in the US (first class mail).
In good working condition. Current owner has had no major illnesses or addictions since entering rehab in 1999. Kidney benefits from a calm lifestyle and a healthy diet rich in kidney beans. One of the best kidneys I've ever had. Will hate to part with it.
There are several glaring mistakes here. First of all, the subject line. The product has to sound enticing. Romance the kidney. Make it sound desirable. Secondly, anything over 40 years old should be referred to as "vintage" or "antique". It sounds more appealing than "old" or "used".
When listing a vital organ, humor is not always appreciated. Those in the market are generally in the mood for facts, not jokes. Lose the kidney bean comment. Potential buyers won't think you're serious.
Remember to include all important information (like your blood type). It'll weed out responses from kidney shoppers who you'll never be able to convert into buyers (unless you find a really dumb one). Make sure you leave no room for misunderstanding on your listing. Spell everything out. Clearly state your policy on returns and refunds.
The $9.99 opening bid seems a little low. Hospital expenses, missed work days and shipping costs must be factored in. If you don't want to include the contingent costs in the opening price for fear of scaring off potential buyers, consider including them in the price of shipping. The added advantage of this method is the shipping and handling costs aren't taxed.
Honesty is good, but the 1999 rehab mention could be handled more deftly. Give it a positive spin.
Photographs work better than illustrations. People think you're hiding something if you don't post a photo.
Make sure your words inspire action.. The more urgent, the better. Phrases like "I'm going to hate parting with it." raises doubts and nobody really believes it anyways.
Here's the right way to list your kidney:
WOW! One rare vintage kidney--in flawless working order!
Opening bid: $9.99
Shipping and handling: $9,999,999.99
Highly sought after O+ blood type. Kidney underwent renovation and refurbishment in the 90s, so it's like new!!! One look and you won't be able to live without it!!! Left or right kidney available. Hurry, before it's too late. No returns, exchanges or refunds.
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I can't get a decent shot of my kidney. Yours looks great. What's your secret? Do you photoshop?
Thank you. No, I don't photoshop. That would be dishonest. But my kidney and I watch "America's Next Top Model" and know how to work the camera.
eBay left me with a very bad taste in my mouth. Some years ago, a friend - one I met on the Internet, no less! - urged me to get an eBay account. Several months later, I received an e-mail from someone claiming that I hadn't sent merchandise he had bought. The only problem was - I had (and still haven't) sold anything! Obviously, my account had been hacked.
I have a lot of stuff I could probably sell on eBay. But I don't trust it.
I think you were phished, not hacked.
It sounds like you're one of the fortunate ones who isn't broke enough to sell on eBay. When you are, you won't care if your account is hacked or even if your identity is stolen...in fact, you may wish for it.
I'm in my early 60s and wonder whether my kidney should be listed as antique or vintage. Please advise.
I checked with eBay and technically, anything under 100 years old would be considered "vintage" or a "collectible". "Experienced" also works.
funny but not....it's inevitably been done already, maybe not so humorously...
All of you have made me destroy another computer keyboard thru nose coffee expulsion from laughing too hard.
For Sale 1948 Vintage sunburst Liver with original case and 1948 tweed Spleen
will not separate $ 250.000 dollars firm cash only - no trades
I hate to part with these collector treasures but the price is fair and my collection of used vintage body parts has to go towards food even though its going to be hard eating without the intestines I sold last month.
You might want to mention that tweed is going to be big this fall. Dolce and Gabbana are coming out with a tweed pulmonary valve for their couture line. I bet it looks fabulous. What if I only want the spleen? Is it $250,000 for the pair? Are they sold separately? What color? Can I pay over time?
Darn, it's just this kind of compulsive consumerism that got me into this mess.
I once sold a guitar on eBay. It cost the guy an arm and a leg. Now they're just sitting around the house taking up space. Any buyers?
I'm stealing that along with Lesley's whole premiss ,we've come along way from complaining about
airline food .
What a horrible waste of an arm an and leg. They should always be refrigerated.
After my last colorectal exam (done while I was still covered by insurance, of course), the Doctor showed me a picture of my innards that bear a striking resemblance to my savior, Jesus Christ. Besides feeling very special and blessed, I thought that there might be an opportunity to profit from this strange circumstance.
Please help me if you can. Do you think that I can sell just the photographic image (perhaps in an elegant frame), or is the REAL potential for a high selling price only in the flesh itself? I found a doctor (well, a Veterinarian actually) who says he can section out the Holy piece of bowel, and then stretch it out to nearly the size of the Shroud of Turin! Do you think I could sell something like that for big money on E-Bay?
I think you can probably sell the stretched colon Shroud of Turin for a lot of money, but before you do it, copyright it and put the picture on t-shirts and even bedspreads, and sell them, too. Maybe Martha Stewart will .go in on this with you.
You are truly blessed. Your plan sounds like a good one, and I like the merchandising opportunities that Flyingmonkey has mapped out. Definitely roll out with the pictures of the Savior and market the heck out of it before proceeding to the "shroud of Turin" portion of your business plan. Not only will it prolong the profit potential of your Sacred gift, but it will also create buzz for when you introduce the actual bowel.
Well, I took you up on your suggestion to look around with a fresh eye. My fresh eye, incidentally, came from ebay per your recommendation! It works like a charm. if only it matched my other one - but I'm not cross(eyed) with you.
Matching eyes are so last millennium. Glad I could help.
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