Angelina Jolie Uncensored -- But Not Unairbrushed!

My. God.

Have you seen the new cover of Vanity Fair? Angelina Jolie, already commonly regarded as one of -- if not the -- most gorgeous women on earth, has hit a new level of other-worldliness. Huge, ocean-like eyes staring right at you. Impossibly pillowy red lips. Luminous skin. Absolutely heaving, twins-induced bosom.

Can she truly look this good? Is this the pregnancy glow I can hope to have (OK, maybe 1/80th of it) when I am with child?

Christina Aguilera seemed to have many of the same qualities when she posed nude and preggers for Marie Claire last November. Which was nothing new considering Britney Spears pulled a similar stunt in June of 2006 and that seemed pretty tame once Demi Moore broke the barrier back in 1991.

These, my friends, are the qualities imparted by a skilled Photoshop artist. It is not typical of a nine-months-pregnant body. They are no more real than Heidi Montag's wedding veil on the cover of this week's Us Weekly.

I don't have a problem with women posing while pregnant, or documenting their changing body in whatever way they choose (photos, belly casts, etc). This is a time for celebration, after all! But what's up with the obvious (and insane amount of) airbrushing that appears to have taken place? Angelina looks like a veritable blow-up doll on that VF cover -- all you need to do is fashion her mouth into a wide open "O."

As for Christina Aguilera... first of all, why so orange? Was she eating too many carrots? Methinks Mr. Photoshop got a bit overzealous with the color feature. Also, how on earth could her entire body be that ridiculously smooth and creamy, with nary a stray vein, stretch mark, wrinkle or even a beauty mark? Doesn't this present an unrealistic portrayal that could make everyday pregnant women feel badly about their own bods?

The whole sexualization-of-pregnancy thing has gone a wee bit too far. I mean, in this pic, Christina is sporting bangles and mile-high, fuschia-soled high heels (ironic considering she told the magazine [of performing], "There are so many things that could go wrong -- somebody could slip, somebody could fall, I could fall. There was no way... I was going to jeopardize my baby for my show.")

As my friend and fellow HuffPo blogger Charlotte put it:

"Please please explain to me why magazines insist on overtly sexualizing pregnant women lately. Do they think we don't know how babies are made and must be reminded? Are they just proponents of the having-sex-will-induce-labor theory? And more importantly, have they ever been a nine-months pregnant woman trying to have sex?? Trapeze artists go through less tricks, I tell you."

On being pregnant, Jolie says in the current VF issue:

"I love it. It makes me feel like a woman. It makes me feel that all the things about my body are suddenly there for a reason. It makes you feel round and supple, and to have a little life inside you is amazing. Also, I'm fortunate. I think some women have a different experience depending on their partner. I think that affects it. I happen to be with somebody who finds pregnancy very sexy. So that makes me feel very sexy."

I've never been pregnant myself but I've interviewed enough moms and seen enough friends struggle with their baby body image to believe her (and countless others) when she notes the incredible impact a spouse's attitude can have on the way you feel about your changing pre-delivery physique. And I'm fairly confident that if I'm one day rockin' Angie's genetic-lottery-of-a-bod, my husband will be attacking me 24-7 throughout the ninth months.

But the fact is, pregnancy doesn't always look like mannequin image on VF's cover, or like Christina Aguilera lying askew, thin all over save for her belly. (When writing my book, Locker Room Diaries, I wore an empathy belly (see pic here) for the pregnancy chapter to get a feel for being pregnant and how it affects your body image. Of course, this was a strap-on, so the image is very much the "basketball on two sticks" look. But as Alyssa, a reader at the Weighting Game blog, mentioned, real women often have much different looks when they're pregnant or have just delivered. We are inundated with pictures of celebrities donning skinny jeans on their way out of the maternity ward. But in real life, pregnancy looks more like this.

Here is a woman 25-weeks pregnant with twins -- just like Angie was a while back! -- but I can guarantee you we will not see any such pictures of her or her pregnant star counterparts in such state... and if we did, they'd be accompanied by mean-spirited, snaky comments.

Ask a mom -- ask your mom -- the tummy doesn't always snap back. Stretch marks happen. Loose skin happens. C-Section scars happen. And check out this woman's miraculous journey, photo-documented on www.thesahapeofamother.com

Of course, these images have a beauty of their own, but it is not one generally heralded by the media, which in turn makes real women feel like crap because they're still wearing maternity jeans five months after delivering.

In an October 2007 issue of Us Weekly, Trista Rehn, then a new-mom, said she was on a mission to lose the last of the 30 pounds she gained during pregnancy. "I'm definitely not pleased when I look in the mirror," the 5-foot-2 reality TV star, who at that point was sporting size 4 pants, weighed 116 pounds and had a three-month-old baby boy said.

Or, in real-world measurements, "when I have a waist with a circumference of a honeydew melon."

Which is exactly what the Angies/Halles/Nicoles of the celebrosphere - whether they mean to or not - make seem not only possible but rather easy.

Liv Tyler, when she was pregnant, said, "I've been working out since I was 14, and (being pregnant) was the first time in my life that I wasn't on a diet and didn't have that kind of pressure. I had time to not be obsess about myself and what I was eating, and enjoy my family." Nice. And honest.

Charlize Theron, who is not pregnant, said, "Getting pregnant doesn't excite me...I don't really want to look like a whale, you know?" Nice. And honest.

Comments

[djwfutbol]

Well, my wife was pregnant practically constantly for the 7 years in which our four children were born. So, I am certainly in the category of men who enjoy sex with pregnant women. Since then, she has had her tubes tied, we have grown older together and the sex has become few and far between but I have my memories. Suffice to say, a stretch mark or two or some extra pounds or veins never bothered me but airbrush away, if you feel the need. Life goes on, thank God.

[Philippa]

Wow, an airbrushed magazine cover. Big surprise!

[SouthFloridaDem]

Pfeh. Doesn't even look like her.

[Mark701]

Agree. If they didn't tell me it was her I'd have guessed that it was someone who bore a slight resemblance.

[wadenelson1]

Honestly, I didn't recognize her as Angelina Jolie. Is that a successful makeover or what?

[linaya]

I hate to break this to you, but everyone on the cover of magazines is airbrushed.
Have been for decades.

Do you really want to look at junk in the corner of someone's eye or that thing between their teeth or a zit or other unsightly skin imperfection? Of course not.

[EmperorNoClothes]

This article tells me that Leslie Goldman is jealous of Angelina Jolie, and so she gets catty with totally unsupported allegations of airbrushing and photoshoping. Angelina is beautiful, get over it. Magazines with unattractive people on the cover don't sell so well. Don't be so clueless.

[JudgeCrater]

"Absolutely heaving, twins-induced bosom."

Ummm well actually a push-up bra always helps with 'perspecti­ve.'

[LangstonA]

YouTube has this terrific video of a guy who used Photoshop to make a photo realistic image of cartoon character Jessica Rabbit using attributes from Angelina Jolie's face. The video condenses his/her hours and hours of rendering. It's educational for budding graphic artists but it should be used by every parent of teenage girls as a teaching tool.The amount of rendering/editing that guy /gal did to make Jessica Rabbit "real" is the amount every graphic artist does to every image in every corporate media magazine. Drive this home to girls day in and day out and when they are women they'll be able to pick up the magazines and use them for entertainment without being made to feel insecure by the images in the magazines. I'm Black. Had the adults around me not constantly reminded me that the "White folks" television and movies and magazines never show Black people as beautiful unless they are very light skinned with very White type features, I'd probably have gotten sucked into the media lie and be wearing blue contacts and all the rest (not to say that Black women who wear blue contacts are all doing it out of self hatred). Things have changed quite a bit as far as ethnicity in media but for women in media perfection and youth are still pervasive. So the parents have to drive home the message to their daughters that media can not be consumed without being "analyzed".

[LangstonA]

Ms. Goldberg, it is unfair of you to expect or even ask a magazine called Vanity Fair, that makes it's money advertising luxury items, to offer images of celebrities which present anything less than perfection. The magazine traffics in images of perfect people in perfect advertisements using the products and services which, if You-The-Reader purchased them, would make you more perfect too. It's not the job of the magazine to come down to reality. It is the job of the reader to grow up and realize that how to use these types of magazines. They should be looked at as means of distraction and escapism mostly, with "some" useful information thrown in.

[CKieffer]

The degree of photoshopping on the cover and interior photos, is absurd. However, my sense of Vanity Fair these days is that they are pulling names from a hat that has very few names in it - - there is just no reason to give Jolie a cover or article. She (and Pitt) are just not that interesting.

[LeftLeanWing]

you do know that most magazine covers are digitally enhanced don't you ?

Not taking anything away from Jolie's beauty; but there is usually some enhancement don't on fashion shots to illustrate absolute perfection.

[MrsPeel]

Thank you for this entire blog. When I saw the photo with the teaser headline "Angelie Jolie Uncensored" I mistakenly thought it would be written by a man declaring a new physical apotheosis for Jolie.

I was so relieved when I read Leslie Goldman's comments. Now I don't have to write what I was going to say. Thank you!

[tcagle]

I am personally glad to be spared the photos of hemorrhoids.

[livesimply]

She looks like a magazine cover....n­ot a natural beauty which she is. She looks best with no makeup at all. Anyone who looks as naturally gorgeous as she does should not have makeup plastered on her face. It's like defacing a piece of art. Now if she could only act...

[WilliePilgrim]

One good famine and the Venus of Willendorf will be "back in style".