Hi. My name is Tater. I'm 9 months old which is why I've never had to do these so-called "New Year's resolutions" before. But apparently, they're pretty important to start the year off right so you don't begin things like the girl in 14B who won't stop crying about "Jeremy" and how "apparently giving up carbs for someone doesn't change them from being an a**hole!"
Anywho...
I've been paying attention to the types of resolutions people are making and I think I've got the hang of it. Not only that, but I'm pretty sure I can knock these out in a week or two thus getting ahead of the game for next year (which as I understand it, you make the same resolutions as you did the year before, but this time you promise to really get things done). Again, I'm just going off of the girl in 14B.
So now, in no particular order, my first-ever New Year's resolutions:
1. Try New Things 
I've never had a hobby before and decided it was about time I started. I chose cooking. It's relaxing, relatively easy and as I see it, everything cooks at 350 degrees for 20 minutes. I haven't really gotten beyond making the gingerbread men dishtowels to adorn the oven door, but one thing at a time.
2. Be Open to New Relationships
I have to admit, I've judged a book by its cover before. But that's no way to go through life. Think of all the people and experiences you may miss if you continue down that road? Why, just recently, I took the initiative to introduce myself to Margo. Sure, I thought Margo would be boring. And she was. But I would have never really known that unless I took the time to judge her in person.
So far, this is turning out to be one of my favorite resolutions.
3. Travel More
It's so easy to get into ruts: we get up, have breakfast, go to work, lick ourselves, nap nine hours; one day bleeds into the next. That's when we have to shake ourselves awake and say, "Hey, self! There's a whole world out there just waiting to be explored! What are you waiting for?" Carpe Diem Eat Pray Love! I haven't actually gotten around to going anywhere yet. BUT, I did buy a fabulous new suitcase and carrier. Just because you're breaking out of your comfort zone doesn't mean you can't be fashionable. #SpringBreak2014
4. Spend Less Time at the Office
They say that when you're on your death bed you won't say, "I wish I spent more time at the office." So true! I don't really know what an "office" or "death bed" is, but both sound horrible. Almost as bad as "baths." I'd much rather say, "I'm so glad I spent my days curled up into a round, circular disk!" Ahh, I feel peaceful just thinking about it.
5. Drink More Water
Okay, I like a brewski as much as the next guy. But let's face it: dehydration, weight gain, hangovers -- that's no way to treat ourselves. Our bodies are our temples. And even though I believe "temples" are associated with the Jewish faith and I'm a Protestant, I'm open to exploring (see #'s 1 & 2). Bring on the H2O!
6. Let Go of the Past
What's in the past is behind us. Until we come up with time machines (which is next on my "hobbies list"), we have to let go of past mistakes and resentments and forgive ourselves. I've taken to meditation. Sure, many would call my meditation sessions "naps," but I forgive them for their naiveté. Namaste.
7. Love Yourself As-Is
We're always waiting to be thinner, or happier, or funnier or wealthier before we love ourselves. Why not begin loving yourself right now because you're YOU? Take a close-up selfie of yourself. Look at it. And say, "Right now, today, I give myself permission to love this wonderful person in front of me. Today I am fabulous, AS-IS."
Now if you'll excuse me, I just accidentally knocked over an antique, priceless china plate. I still don't understand what a tail is or how it works. But it's okay. I accept, forgive and love myself in spite of it. Happy 2014, everyone. Wishing you a year of blessings and white light.
All photos courtesy of the author