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Leslie Irish Evans

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Spider vs. Jedi (Episode 1)

Posted: 06/18/2012 4:46 pm

Son reported to me this morning that Daughter is asleep on the couch in the upstairs TV room. This is unusual, but not particularly worrisome. "She just groaned when I walked in the room," he said. (Definitely not unusual.)

So I hop online and check Facebook. There, her status fills me on on the why:

Sleeping on the couch because I have graciously given my bedroom up to a big spider.

Augh. We have really big spiders in our house and I don't like them. I scream like an idiot and make my husband kill them.

(I know, I know, that's awful. I know spiders are our friends and when they are moderately-sized or outside I even like them. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, and all that. If they're little ones and we're near a door I'll just scoop them up on a piece of paper and put them outside. Also, we almost NEVER have bugs in our house. So, spiders = good. Unless they're 3-4 inches in diameter and skittering across my floor. In that case, spiders = freak the hell out.)

Did I mention my husband is out of town? He's storm-chasing. He's the one who kills spiders around here. He's pretty brave for a geek.

"SON!" I tell my boy. (OK, he's almost 19. He's not really a boy. Also, I didn't exactly tell it to him, I typed it to him on Skype. Hey, his room is upstairs and far away. Don't judge me.) "Today you are a man. Please dispatch that spider promptly."

"Funny," he types back. "You're funny."

Well, hell. Apparently he got my spider-cowardice genes and not my husband's spider-conquerer genes.

Or did he?

Moments later I hear this:

"IT IS TIME." [sound of a light saber powering up] BAZZZHWIIING!!!

Whoa.

I hear him walk to his sister's bedroom. I hear him walking around up there. Then, silence.
He emerges.

"I can't find it."

He then writes on her Facebook page:

I see not thine arachnoid assailant. It shall live another day. Until that fateful day, may you not fear its return, but rejoice in the lack of flies in your chambers.*

Jedi - 0, Spider - 1

... To be continued?

*Yes, we communicate via Facebook. The Jacksons fought through the press, we talk through Facebook. Shut the hell up.

Leslie Irish Evans, Author, Speaker, and Self-Care Genius, lives on the Internet and writes about it at www.leslieirishevans.com. She encourages all of her readers to secure their own oxygen masks before assisting others.

This post originally appeared at www.leslieirishevans.com.

 

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