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Fifty Shades of Funny

03/13/2015 08:49 am ET | Updated May 13, 2015

Fifty Shades of Grey has become my feel-good book of the year. Whenever I'm tired or depressed, I just pick it up and flip through the pages, and I'm sure to find prose that will make me laugh. Here are some of my latest faves:

"No longer warm, the temperature of his voice has dropped several degrees."

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"My subconscious has emigrated or been struck dumb or simply keeled over and expired."

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"I struggle to keep up with him because my wits have been thoroughly and royally scattered all over the floor and walls of elevator three of the Heatherman Hotel."

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"He said he liked his women sentient."

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"Business is about people...and I know how to incentivize them."

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Lev Raphael's 25th book is a suspense novel about out-of-control cops, Assault With a Deadly Lie. You can explore his other books on Amazon here.