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Jindal Joins GOP Jamboree

06/25/2015 04:02 am ET | Updated Jun 24, 2016

A few days ago I heard some GOP ventriloquist's dummy on CNN confidently declare that Bobby Jindal would bring substantive policy proposals "to the table" and that he'd even "been accused of being a policy wonk." Accused? What a great shout-out.

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Jittery Jindal is the same nimrod who not so long ago said that "In America we want people who want to be Americans. We want people who want to come here. [As opposed to people who were teleported against their will, I guess?] We don't say, 'You have to adopt our creed, or any particular creed,' but we do say, 'If you come here, you need to believe in American exceptionalism.' "

So when did that become a requirement for citizenship? And does that mean Americans who don't believe in American exceptionalism will be fined, jailed, or deported? I bet if you gave a nationwide Exceptionalism Quiz, most people would fail because they don't know what the hell the term even means. They probably think it has something to do with a free pass to do whatever we want to on the world stage: we're the exception. Especially when it comes to invasions and stuff like that.

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Jaunty Jindahl also made the bogus claim that in Europe, "non-assimilationist Muslims establish enclaves and carry out as much of Sharia law as they can without regard for the laws of the democratic countries which provided them a new home.....It is startling to think that any country would allow, even unofficially, for a so called 'no-go zone.' The idea that a free country would allow for specific areas of its country to operate in an autonomous way that is not free and is in direct opposition to its laws is hard to fathom." So is spreading bulllshit like that. Sorry, what's the Scalia word? Applesauce.

Surveying the home scene, Jive-ass Jindl has other profound insights to share about our political culture. He's apparently unhappy with people's pride in their heritage: "I'm tired of the hyphenated Americans. No more 'African-Americans.' No more 'Indian-Americans.' No more 'Asian-Americans.' "

Wow, that must make him hyphenist.

And since Jindal himself is Indian-American, his remarks have unleashed scores of jokes on Twitter and given birth to the trending hashtag in India: #bobbyjindalissowhite.

Is there anything this guy won't say to get elected? Stay tuned. He's got lots of competition in an already-crowded field of blowhards and extremists--think Trump and Ted Cruz-No-Control.

Lev Raphael is the author of 25 books in genres from memoir to mystery which you can find on Amazon.