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Levi Ben-Shmuel

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Tired of New Year's Resolutions? 10 Questions to Empower You in 2011

Posted: 12/28/10 09:20 AM ET

Are you tired of making New Year's resolutions? I stopped making them a long time ago. No matter how good my intentions were, the resolutions lost steam soon after the New Year began. January 1st never had the power to motivate transformation as much as other life-changing events did.

Nevertheless, if you feel called to make some this New Year and believe they will stick, go for it! Inspired by Kabbalah, one of the world's great wisdom traditions, here are 10 questions to ponder in 2011 to help empower you as well as help fulfill any resolutions you feel called to make.

  1. What is my deepest intention?
  2. Whether you are aware of it or not, an intention underlies any thought or action. As you journey into the New Year, examine your underlying intentions. Discover whether there are conflicting ones that will sabotage efforts at self-improvement, or ones that do not serve your most cherished goals. When you discover your deepest intention, use its energy to help propel you forward.

  3. What will make me wiser?
  4. A hallmark of wisdom is seeing a greater picture than what your ego wants you to believe is true. Is your vision narrowly focused on personal gain? Imagine a larger vision of yourself as a powerful person living to fulfill a greater good. Strive to achieve outcomes in what have been difficult situations that embrace your larger vision of yourself.

  5. How can I deepen my listening?
  6. We have numerous voices clamoring for attention in our heads (as well as outside of them). Some are innocuous, some benevolent and some out for destructive purposes. Take time in a quiet place and consciously listen to the competing voices. Align with the ones who will support you in your quest for growth. When listening to an outside voice, find that quiet place inside to allow space to truly hear what someone is saying.

  7. How can I express more loving-kindness?
  8. Loving-kindness is connected to giving in the spirit of generosity. What motivates your giving? Do you expect something in return? Notice when it is easy to give and when it is difficult. Use the difficult times as opportunities to uncover what is in the way of expressing more loving-kindness.

  9. How can I set my boundaries and limits more effectively?
  10. Are you the kind of person who gives so much you find yourself exhausted and unable to give to yourself? Or, do you find yourself isolated and lonely because you are busy protecting your self image? Endeavor to set your boundaries wisely in order to take care of yourself as well as others. Learn when it is healthy to say no, and when it is healthy to say yes!

  11. How can I be more compassionate?
  12. Compassion flows when you appreciate the interconnectedness of life. It is particularly difficult to be compassionate to someone who is feared or seen as a problem. Examine what is rejected along with what is accepted both within and outside of yourself. Seek to be more inclusive as you open your heart to the inherent interconnectedness of life.

  13. How can I move forward with joy?
  14. There is great potential in all of us to do meaningful acts, both great and small. What is in the way of moving forward with a joyful spirit? What is the payoff in holding back? Align yourself with your deepest intention to break through obstacles. Connect to a higher purpose and rejoice in striving to achieve it.

  15. What will bring more peace into my life?
  16. Deep peace comes when you are in harmony with your essence. If you find yourself in conflict, whether in relationships or at work, how can you bring more of your essence, the part of you that is radiant and loving, to help ease the conflict? What is in your power to change that will bring you more peace?

  17. How can I strengthen my commitments?
  18. A bedrock of our lives is the commitments we make and honor. Are you finding yourself wavering in them? What forces are working to pull you away from fulfilling them? Reconnect to the energy you felt when you made your commitments. See if that energy helps revitalize and strengthen them, or leads you to realign them if they have changed. Reconnect to the meaning your commitments bring to your life.

  19. What will ground me in my speech and actions?

Our words and actions are the culmination of myriad energies flowing through us. When they are grounded in our deepest convictions, our words and deeds can be great blessings. Use the nine previous questions and your answers to them to help ground you as you interact with the world in 2011. Embrace what gives you a sense of connection to yourself and life. Do your best to walk your talk, and align your talk to your heart and highest aspirations. Happy New Year!

 
 
 

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Are you tired of making New Year's resolutions? I stopped making them a long time ago. No matter how good my intentions were, the resolutions lost steam soon after the New Year began. January 1st neve...
Are you tired of making New Year's resolutions? I stopped making them a long time ago. No matter how good my intentions were, the resolutions lost steam soon after the New Year began. January 1st neve...
 
 
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Mark Goulston, M.D.
11:27 PM on 01/03/2011
Levi,
A terrific post. What helps me to even get more centering, calmness AND comfort them is to imagine my "dead mentors society" asking me those questions in my mind. When I think of the people I have been blessed to know who believed in me when I didn't, saw potential in me when I saw nothing and on a number of occasions stood up for me when I couldn't I am overwhelmed with gratitude and feel blessed to have known them and been known by them. That gratitude and missing such people eliminates any scarcity within me and when I then face the world feeling whole I am able to give to it which is the best that I can be.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Levi Ben-Shmuel
Tai Chi & Kabbalah Teacher
07:03 PM on 01/04/2011
Thank you, Mark! I love your connecting gratitude to those who supported you along the way and empowerment. I too have found great motivation to give life my best when I remember those I love and respect who helped me get where I am today.
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AnastaciaBrice
Love *is* the highest law
01:46 AM on 01/01/2011
Awesome post and list, Levi! Thank you :)

A thought about #5. If one has higher standards, one needs fewer boundaries.

A happy and blessed New Year to you :)
Anastacia
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Levi Ben-Shmuel
Tai Chi & Kabbalah Teacher
11:21 AM on 01/02/2011
You are welcome, Anastacia. I understand that having higher standards could lead to having less boundaries in the sense that being more truthful means you don't have to defend yourself against being caught in lies. Is this what you mean? Happy New Year!
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AnastaciaBrice
Love *is* the highest law
12:49 AM on 01/30/2011
Well, that's more an example of being in integrity and, as a benefit of that, not having to hide or lie.

Standards tell the world how you expect to behave and be treated. Boundaries are put in place to tell others what they can't do with or to you.

If I behave a certain way and expect people to behave in a similar fashion (standard), I'm more likely to interact with and attract people who behave that way instead of people who don't (and are likely to cause me to initiate a boundary to protect my standard).

As an example, let's say my standard is that I don't ever gossip. It's far more likely that I'm going to attract others who also don't ever gossip, so I won't have to create a boundary to stop people from trying to gossip to me.

If, on the other hand, I have a mushy standard, where I really don't like to gossip, but I'll do it now and then, I'm likely to attract other gossips, and, in those moments when I don't want to gossip, I have to create a boundary to make the others stop.

High(er) standards always trump the need for boundary setting.

Hope January is being good to you!
A
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GoodNews
Re-elect Obama 2012!
08:00 AM on 12/31/2010
"...isolated and lonely trying to protect your self image." This is resonating with me.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Levi Ben-Shmuel
Tai Chi & Kabbalah Teacher
10:22 AM on 12/31/2010
GoodNews, a piece of good news is it is within our power to do the work necessary to release us from the prison of living to maintain a self image. Another aspect of the underlying Kabbalistic energy behind question 5 is the power in being able to laugh at ourselves. I don't mean laughing in a way that is demeaning. Rather, it is laughing at how we take ourselves so seriously. It is remarkably freeing to see the lighter side of our foibles, and to put our lives in perspective relative to something greater. Happy New Year!
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GoodNews
Re-elect Obama 2012!
09:14 PM on 01/01/2011
It's taken me years to see the futility of maintaining my "image." It began when it occurred to me that the "image" was not my own, but that of a parent. Now, having stepped outside that image, I'm free and fearful of becoming who I truly am.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
D. A. Wolf
Writer, Daily Plate of Crazy
11:01 PM on 12/30/2010
As one who also gave up traditional resolutions for an alternative process of annual assessment, I love the concept of spending time with a set of questions that offers a journey of mind, spirit, and behavior.

This is a list for printing off and putting in view, and consulting on any given day.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Levi Ben-Shmuel
Tai Chi & Kabbalah Teacher
10:13 AM on 12/31/2010
Thank you, D.A. As we all know, it isn't easy changing ingrained behaviors and thought patterns. Having some kind of regular practice to help make change is essential. Happy New Year!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
LifeChangeStartsNow
I am love, discernment, confident, resourceful, as
05:30 PM on 12/29/2010
Oh my, what an absolutely fabulous post!

I discovered new year's resolutions in the US and undiscovered them pretty quickly when I realised that most people don't take them seriously.

Love this list and I intend to work on them - you got my juices flowing here.

Happy new year!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Levi Ben-Shmuel
Tai Chi & Kabbalah Teacher
07:18 PM on 12/29/2010
I am happy my post stirred up some positive energy for you, LifeChangeStartsNow. May that good energy build and build in 2011!
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Left of Right
Want to default your country? Default your job!
12:53 PM on 12/29/2010
Excellent article!

And may I add #11: Recycle last year's resolutions.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Levi Ben-Shmuel
Tai Chi & Kabbalah Teacher
05:44 PM on 12/29/2010
Thank you, Left of Right. It is good to start the New Year with a fresh perspective while being open to learning from the past.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MerrieWay
02:05 AM on 12/29/2010
For 2011...I'm blooming and crooning, stretching instead of Kvetching...Loving, sharing,daring,and wearing big hats filled with enthusiasm. Alas! Producing a ground breaking film for kids to end youth violence, and promoting my new book, "Bounce Off The Walls- Land On Your Feet", both of which warm my heart with deep conviction and purpose. Such grace.
Levi, Big gratitude for your loving wisdom. Happy New Year and to Blessings to ALL. Merrie Lynn
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Levi Ben-Shmuel
Tai Chi & Kabbalah Teacher
09:06 AM on 12/29/2010
It is empowering to choose loving, sharing, and daring over being miserable! Best of luck with your projects, and blessings for a beautiful New Year, Merrie Lynn!
11:02 PM on 12/28/2010
These are very powerful questions, stated so well! I look forward to spending some time and working with them this week and throughout the year. I will definitely share this with others. Thank you very much Levi! Blessings on a wonderful and abundant 2011!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Levi Ben-Shmuel
Tai Chi & Kabbalah Teacher
09:02 AM on 12/29/2010
Devorahsara, I am happy the questions speak to you. Blessings to you too for a wonderful 2011!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Muzzle Me
Blogging: Graffiti with punctuation.
08:56 PM on 12/28/2010
New Year's resolution you will actually achieve!

For Health, Wealth and Happiness:

1. Health: Resolve to drink one glass of water instead of a sugary drink each day.

2. Wealth: Resolve to take a packed lunch twice a week and invest the savings.

3. Happiness: Resolve to journal one thing you're grateful for each day.

For Mind, Body and Soul:

4. Mind: Resolve to read one interesting book from the library each month.

5. Body: Resolve to take a 15 minute brisk walk each day.

6. Soul: Resolve to do one simple, random act of kindness each day.

For Peace, Love and Understanding:

7. Peace: When trivial conflicts arise, resolve to choose peace rather than being right.

8. Love: Resolve to tell someone you love them each day.

9. Understanding: Resolve to listen and understand before trying to be understood.

For Community, Country and Earth

10. Community: Smile and wave whenever you see a neighbor.

11. Country: Resolve to replace arguments with friendly, win-win political discussions.

12. Earth: Resolve to replace 3 light bulbs with compact fluorescent bulbs.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Levi Ben-Shmuel
Tai Chi & Kabbalah Teacher
10:48 PM on 12/28/2010
Thank you for your contribution!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
bibb
07:23 PM on 12/28/2010
Resolutions

Over the years,
I’ve promised to be:
Richer, smarter, thinner,
More organized,
Less of a procrastinator.

This year,
I think I’ll just relax,
And be happy and grateful,
For what I’ve got,
And who I am.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Levi Ben-Shmuel
Tai Chi & Kabbalah Teacher
10:19 PM on 12/28/2010
Beautiful! In the relaxing, it will be interesting to see what might bubble up to support you in achieving the first list (if it still holds meaning for you). Happy New Year!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
bibb
06:41 PM on 12/31/2010
Thank you and Happy New Year to you!
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french queen13
my beloved is mine and I am his
10:37 PM on 12/28/2010
Good thinking!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
aprilinheaven
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
05:00 PM on 12/28/2010
I have an intention to slow down in 2011, to simplify. To be self centered in fact, not selfish, but centered in my Self. I'm so scattered much of the time and often put my self last. It's time for some gentle changes for me. This is a great little list to help me get started. Thank you.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Levi Ben-Shmuel
Tai Chi & Kabbalah Teacher
10:16 PM on 12/28/2010
I like your phrase "gentle changes." All too often we frame change in much harsher terms and in the process, make it more difficult to achieve. You are very welcome, aprilheaven!
02:57 PM on 12/28/2010
Thank you, dear Levi, for sharing the timeless wisdom of Kabbalah. New Year's Resolutions do not work for several reasons. (1) We fear change because the familiar is comfortable and the unknown is scary (even if it might be better) (2) A real and permanent change requires a new neural pathway in the brain and repeating a new behavior until it becomes habit (21-30 days) (3) The subconscious, which governs more than 90% of our functioning is not accessible by the conscious mind.
For meaningful change we need Divine help and support. True and deep prayer for Grace is the only answer I know.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Levi Ben-Shmuel
Tai Chi & Kabbalah Teacher
06:41 PM on 12/28/2010
You are welcome, Shira! Sometimes life leads us to see what has been comfortable is a prison that can no longer be tolerated. That energy can be used to make the commitment to change and stay with the change until it becomes our new home. Blessings on your journey, old friend!
02:16 PM on 12/28/2010
Great post. Thanks!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Levi Ben-Shmuel
Tai Chi & Kabbalah Teacher
06:34 PM on 12/28/2010
You are welcome, HelloWorld. Have a healthy and happy New Year!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Dr. Cara Barker
author, artist, and Jungian Analyst,
02:14 PM on 12/28/2010
Thanks for your blog, Levi. Talk about syncronicity! You'll see what I mean tomorrow. Meanwhile, consider yourself fanned for your splendid contribution.

All good things your way,
Cara
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Levi Ben-Shmuel
Tai Chi & Kabbalah Teacher
06:33 PM on 12/28/2010
You are welcome, Carla. Thanks for the fan, and I look forward to seeing your post tomorrow.

All the best in 2011 and beyond!
02:00 PM on 12/28/2010
I always love reading thought proving articles about old-habits like resolution writing/breaking. For me the most important elements of goal setting is to be true to my own ambitions/desires and not be sucked into what I'm told is right for me. Secondly, I want to see progress. I find it's better to write the objectives and then leave them for one week, revisit, and revise.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Levi Ben-Shmuel
Tai Chi & Kabbalah Teacher
06:32 PM on 12/28/2010
Thanks for your comment, Hugh. It gets interesting when powerful forces, whether they are internal or external, attempt to move us away from our truth. What have you found to be effective tools to help you stay on track with achieving your goals?