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Lillian Daniel

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10 Signs You Should Not Be Getting Married in a Church

Posted: 07/10/2012 12:37 pm

10 Signs You Should Not be Getting Married in a Church

  1. You find yourself asking the clergy to take all the references to Jesus out of the service.
  2. You find yourself dreading your next meeting with the minister.
  3. You find yourself dreading the service, worried that the minister will say something too religious.
  4. You disagree with the core values of the church.
  5. You find the core values of the church so uninteresting that you can just tune them out, no problem.
  6. You are not a member of any faith community and neither one of you intends to be.
  7. This location feels like a choice you both are making for somebody else, rather than for yourselves.
  8. You and your partner have never talked about religion, and you have serious doubts that you will ever be able to.
  9. This experience feels like just another wedding transaction, one more service provider to check off the list.
  10. You can't wait for the reception.


10 Signs You Might be in the Right Place After All

  1. You have drifted from the church, but as you prepare for your wedding you find yourself seeking a community of faith.
  2. You enjoy meeting the minister and appreciate the chance to focus on matters of the spirit in the midst of wedding planning stress.
  3. You have worshipped here and found yourself moved.
  4. You want your marriage to be associated with this place and its core values.
  5. You can imagine the members of this church holding you in prayer.
  6. You sense that your marriage is about more than the two of you.
  7. You find yourself praying.
  8. This experience is causing you and your partner to talk about your faith and your aspirations for a faith community as a couple.
  9. You don't have it all figured out yet, but this church feels like a blessing to start you on your way.
  10. You can't wait for the wedding.

 
 
 

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10 Signs You Should Not be Getting Married in a Church You find yourself asking the clergy to take all the references to Jesus out of the service. You find yourself dreading your next meeting with ...
10 Signs You Should Not be Getting Married in a Church You find yourself asking the clergy to take all the references to Jesus out of the service. You find yourself dreading your next meeting with ...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
SGillLondonUK
SCOTLAND IS NOT ENGLISH PROPERTY
04:09 PM on 07/18/2012
Religion is another word for corruption....It seems the line between Christianity and Satan worship is a very blurred one.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
iknowscottyknows
06:07 PM on 07/29/2012
To the blurred, I suppose.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
08:53 AM on 07/18/2012
Just saw this post and love it. As a parent of two children who spent some of their growing up time in the church their parents love, I hope they find excellent reasons to marry in a Church.
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Indigo1941
Time traveler.
09:24 AM on 07/17/2012
That sounds about right. If you go to a church, then it's obviously the place to go to get married. If you don't go to a church a backyard garden party setting is perfect.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
J Owen Williams
No, your micro bio is empty!
05:37 PM on 07/15/2012
I must say that atheists are not as friendly while the devoutly religious seem happy all the time.
04:11 AM on 07/16/2012
The atheists that post online are pretty much the "hardcore" ones. A lot of us could give a rats behind what other people believe in and we avoid bringing up relgious topics.
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kclib
Better a bleeding heart than none at all
08:03 AM on 07/16/2012
I have a very good friend who is an atheist and she is kindest person I know.... IMO a lot of devout people that I know are miserable and you can't even hold a normal conversation without being hit with a barage of biblical quotes.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
loggerboots
WELL RETIRED UAW.
02:17 PM on 07/15/2012
Church weddings are nothing more that expensive dog and pony shows...most of the participants...won't be back till the next funeral or christining.
03:12 PM on 07/14/2012
As An atheist I have to agree with you here, When I was transitioning as a child I remember being still stuck on some religious ideas, being forced to church and thinking: Isn't my attendance irreverent; Aren't I just sullying the sanctity of this place?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Myles P
spelling poliece badge #1
12:30 AM on 07/15/2012
Irreverent of what? If there is no God there is nothing to revere and no such thing as irreverence.
12:41 PM on 07/16/2012
Hence the "Still being stuck on some religious ideas." part.. for me faith wasn't a thought out thing; I was just raised with it. Only when I started thinking about my faith, actually reading the bible, and asking questions of my priest, was it that I began to lose my faith. There was a transition period; it was a very strange place of blind faith, and reason blended together.
09:22 AM on 07/17/2012
Some people choose to be respectful of other's beliefs. Just because it isn't reverent to you, doesn't mean it isn't to someone else.
09:06 AM on 07/14/2012
:)
09:05 AM on 07/14/2012
How true! I will use this in premarital counseling
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thorrsman
Why should I define myself by quoting others?
12:04 AM on 07/14/2012
Get married in a church?

What a quaint notion.

My wife and I were married twice: The one that the government counts occurred in an office in Augsburg, a civil ceremony conducted in German and English.

The one that COUNTS occurred under the eyes of the Gods, under the open night sky, with words that each of us spoke from the heart, without a government-approved formula.
09:34 PM on 07/13/2012
That's pretty good. Succinct; almost obvious but a clever way to describe the purpose of a church.
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Ninure Saunders
A "red-letter" Christian
09:21 AM on 07/13/2012
I can hardly wait for the day when same-sex couples can find churches EVERYWHERE that can can say, they have found that second list to be true for them.
This comment has been removed due to violations of our [Guidelines]
01:57 AM on 07/13/2012
Reason 11 not to get married in church. If you are picking the church based on the photo opts.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
David MacWilliams
My micro-bio is no longer empty...
05:23 PM on 07/12/2012
The number one reason not to get married in a church: You have a working brain and you know how to use it.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Bluewoods
12:07 PM on 07/13/2012
I don't understand the people who can't stand churches, or religion, but are the first ones to have their children baptized, the first ones who want to have the last rites of the church and buried and want all the blessings and traditions but don't want to contribute to the religious community. Are you going to have a wake or any kind of blessing from a church or temple when you are dying or dead? Just curious. Do you have any type of ceremony?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
David MacWilliams
My micro-bio is no longer empty...
03:23 PM on 07/13/2012
Nope...no wake, no blessing, no god.
04:56 PM on 07/13/2012
if i can possibly help it , no... after i'm dead, if some fool decides they need a church service for my husk... i don't care... i believe in my creator, not in churches or organized religion
09:36 PM on 07/13/2012
"The number one reason not to get married in a church: You have a working brain and you know how to use it. "

Well that leaves you out, unfortunately. I really do not see a connection between a working brain and getting married in, or out, of a church. Mine works exceptionally well, I know how to use it, and I was married in a church. So your example is busted.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Gabriele Vaitkeviciute
Soulless atheist in search of world peace
06:16 PM on 07/14/2012
I think that you have completely missed the point which Mr. MacWilliams is making. Have you ever heard a famous Hemingway's quote: ''All thinking men are atheists''? Anyway, I don't think smart people boast about their exceptional mind on the internet or anywhere for that matter. At least I've yet to find one.
02:19 PM on 07/12/2012
"I know some atheists that are like that but unfortunately the ones I come in contact with are the ones that make fun and bully."

If someone demands authority over your life representing Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy or his childhood invisible friend, you would consider him to be not just a fool or a madman but a dangerous one at that.

Just what is different when someone claims to represent a different entity whose existence is equally unverifiable but requires that one also believe in a talking snake?

Failure to share belief is seen as ridicule. Would it not also be ridicule to visit Comicon and blurt that neither Star Wars nor Star Treck are real?

Courtesy requires that one suspend disbelief INSIDE Comicon but not outside. Courtesy also requires that one suspend disbelief INSIDE a church. Believers may not expect the church to encompass a country or a world any more than Comicon.

Adults consider it cute to accommodate the child's belief in Santa Clause. The "faithful" expect lifelong accommodation but are somehow adults when commenting on everyone else's behavior.

Asking that government not force belief on non-believers or (as in the case of contraception and abortion) force prohibitions associated with belief on non-believers is somehow "bullying" believers. Who is the real bully?

Anyone who demands control over my life had better offer more than talking snakes
.
04:30 PM on 07/12/2012
I don't disagree with you, but your message would carry more weight if your spelling were better (i.e. Santa Claus and Star Trek).
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
alwaystellitlikeitis
The 47-, er, 99% have spoken.
06:50 PM on 07/12/2012
And shorter.
09:38 PM on 07/13/2012
F&F 3
01:21 AM on 07/13/2012
You appear bitter. Where do you discover joy? Loving community? Meaning? Mystery?
04:57 PM on 07/13/2012
usually in a book store
01:54 PM on 07/12/2012
Forget getting married --Just keep shacking up like you are doing..
Don't buy the cow to get the milk...When you get sick of this situation,
just move on..Looks like this is the American way ? ...
06:24 AM on 07/14/2012
I feel as if you were joking but I seriously don't understand why so many people get married nowadays. Most marriages fail anyways and its so much easier to part ways if one didn't get married. I think a legal agreement should be signed to protect the couple. It's obviously just my opinion, I wish my boyfriend felt the same way.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Myles P
spelling poliece badge #1
12:43 AM on 07/15/2012
Probably because they simply want to. Not everyone looks at the sad state of the world and includes themselves in it. It's easy to see why so many marriages fail. They begin with people, like you (not accusatory or disrespectful), that don't believe that it is meant to exist for life and can only be ended by death. These people should not get married and would be better off taking your advice.