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10 Signs You Should Not Be Getting Married in a Church

07/10/2012 12:59 pm ET | Updated Sep 09, 2012

10 Signs You Should Not be Getting Married in a Church

  1. You find yourself asking the clergy to take all the references to Jesus out of the service.

  • You find yourself dreading your next meeting with the minister.
  • You find yourself dreading the service, worried that the minister will say something too religious.
  • You disagree with the core values of the church.
  • You find the core values of the church so uninteresting that you can just tune them out, no problem.
  • You are not a member of any faith community and neither one of you intends to be.
  • This location feels like a choice you both are making for somebody else, rather than for yourselves.
  • You and your partner have never talked about religion, and you have serious doubts that you will ever be able to.
  • This experience feels like just another wedding transaction, one more service provider to check off the list.
  • You can't wait for the reception.
  • 10 Signs You Might be in the Right Place After All

    1. You have drifted from the church, but as you prepare for your wedding you find yourself seeking a community of faith.

  • You enjoy meeting the minister and appreciate the chance to focus on matters of the spirit in the midst of wedding planning stress.
  • You have worshipped here and found yourself moved.
  • You want your marriage to be associated with this place and its core values.
  • You can imagine the members of this church holding you in prayer.
  • You sense that your marriage is about more than the two of you.
  • You find yourself praying.
  • This experience is causing you and your partner to talk about your faith and your aspirations for a faith community as a couple.
  • You don't have it all figured out yet, but this church feels like a blessing to start you on your way.
  • You can't wait for the wedding.