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Lillian Daniel

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Acting Out on the Airplane: A New Year's Reflection on Patience

Posted: 12/30/11 03:18 PM ET

Even before the flight took off, we knew who would be offering our in-flight entertainment. The man in the seat in front of me began by taking out a ballpoint pen, putting it into his mouth and then taking a dramatic inhale. "You probably all think that I am smoking," he announced. "But I want to assure you that this is not a real cigarette, it is actually a sophisticated medical device that I use instead of smoking."

"That's not a medical device," his seatmate muttered to her friend. "It's just a pen."

Well, that set him off. For the rest of the flight he was ranting, turning around in his seat to beat in time to the music on his headrest, lecturing the invisible politicians he believed were accompanying him on the plane ride, and spilling strong drinks.

Finally a flight attendant came and sat next to him, calming him with a cup of water, gentle words, listening skills and the kind of thoughtful diplomacy that we could really use in Congress these days.

At the end of the flight, two police officers put the inebriated man in a wheelchair and whisked him away. As a student of human nature (another word for "nosy") I followed them to see what happened, as did another man who began to ask questions of the police.

"Do you know this guy?" they finally asked him.

You could see the man hesitate for just a minute before saying, "Yes, I work with him. We're going to the same meeting."

"Can you look after him?" they asked.

Again, another long pause, and then, "Yes, I can help get him to the hotel."

Jesus once said that our family members are not just the ones we share a family tree with, but he never said it would always be tidy and reciprocal.

Tomorrow that guy may not even remember who rescued him and took care of him the night before. So I want to make a note in his family tree: On one sad night, a hard-working flight attendant and an exhausted work colleague both claimed him as a brother, whether he remembers it or not.

As the new year approaches, I pray for patience with the other members of God's family, and the love to consider them my own family as well.

And for all the times I have been the sister or brother no one wanted to claim, I thank God for being patient with me.

 
 
 

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JohnFromCensornati
The End is near
08:32 AM on 01/02/2012
Oh thank God he was drunk! I thought he was going to bore you or something.
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12:05 PM on 01/01/2012
Amen. What a lovely article.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
see-ellen2001
03:31 PM on 12/31/2011
Yes, we can carry on being our brothers keeper aka enabler or we can let the police charge him and help him wise up. One can only keep helping those who don't give a toss about changing their behaviour bcs someone is always there to rescue them. They do what they want and the rescuers keep suffering.
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phal4875
The world is run by cats; we just feed them.
05:55 PM on 01/01/2012
There is the Christian approach, and then there is yours. It is hard to believe that Jesus would not have tried to help the man in his current circumstances, not teach him a lesson. If you don't see yourself as a Christian, ignore that religious reference.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
see-ellen2001
06:11 PM on 01/01/2012
I mean for ongoing behavior; I am all for helping someone who slips up and makes mistakes. But if someone continues on with a pattern of behaviour that is destructive and those around him or her continue with bailing out, it is doing the person no favors and destroys other lives. I see people whose lives revolve around someone who continually and consciously chooses to make the same mistakes with no repercussions. So in my mind, having a person experience (relatively minor) repurcussions for their actions can be a Christian thing to do if the motivation is proper. It could possibly save them from worse and can keep their relationships intact.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
tholin
05:33 PM on 01/04/2012
In my 27th year as an aircraft mechanic, I can attest to numerous incidents where otherwise lucid, well-adjusted and sober individuals experience an organic mental crisis psychologists call an 'acute psychotic break', triggered by latent anxiety magnified in the captive environment of elevators, MRI, bridges, aircraft, et al.

You may have seen this one :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBcoFEVbvEI

You may be interested to know that the man, "Jay", was a medical student, traveling to London to complete his clinical rotations, and had no history of drug abuse or mental illness. After receiving treatment/observation in a local hospital, he was released on his own accord; no charges were filed by Air Canada or British authorities.

Whats striking to me, viewing that video, is the exemplary professionalism displayed by the flight crew and the samaritan passenger who calmly restained and soothed the stricken man. In his moment of crisis, when the human mind was literally crying "help me!", these fine individuals indeed became his keeper, safeguarding him from harm - and himself.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
see-ellen2001
08:06 PM on 01/04/2012
Tholin: I agree that we should help those around us, whether they are family or friends, or not. I was addressing the idea that someone who willingly creates a detremental situation again and again, and continues to be assisted (enabled) by family and friends is not really being helped in the long run.  Sometimes real compassion is painfully 'helping'  someone hit bottom by not helping them destroy themselves any further, so they have one option-to get professional help.  This of course does not mean someone with a mental health issue as you describe.