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Lillian Daniel

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Blamed, Shamed and Framed

Posted: 07/13/11 12:16 PM ET

Most grandmothers teach their grandchildren how to make cookies. My grandmother taught me how to make a gin and tonic. That was the easy part. What was hard was getting the gin bottle out from inside the raw chicken, where it was hidden in the fridge. A card carrying eccentric with a devilish sense of humor, seldom without a Pall Mall cigarette in her hand, she was a great fan of an outfit you seldom see anymore: the psychedelic caftan.

My grandmother had a badly behaved dog named Amos, who was known to knock over her neighbor's trash cans in the middle of the night, leaving them to clean up a mess of tin cans and old food. She denied it was her dog, but there were witnesses. The neighbors were relieved when Amos finally passed away. There would be peace in the valley.

But just two days after Amos's death, the neighbors awoke to find trash and garbage everywhere. And then about a week later, the same thing again.

Clearly, this was not Amos. The community, in their smug superiority, had been so quick to judge the eccentric woman with the odd habits, and in turn her eccentric dog.

In those weeks after Amos' death, when they cleaned up their garbage, they began to wander over to her driveway one neighbor at a time, and speak a few awkward words of apology. "We were just certain it was Amos," they said. "I mean, we saw him out there once or twice."

Years later, someone in our family actually spied the creature that was knocking over trashcans, a very rare species of scavenger heretofore unknown in the small Southern town. It was a Pall Mall-smoking, lace bathrobe-wearing grandmother, sneaking out every few months at 3 a.m. to knock over her neighbor's trashcans and avenge the memory of Amos, years after his death.

For she would not be judged. Even though she was wrong, she would make them wrong, too. But of course, none of that made it right.

And it didn't work for her in the end either. I mean, who wants to be out 3 a.m. knocking over garbage? There have to be better things to do with our time.

Jesus once said, "I do not judge anyone who hears my words and does not keep them, for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world."

My hunch is that he sees all of us in our cycles of blame and shame, and waits patiently for us to save each other. There are worse things than garbage-eating dogs. We human beings can inflict more pain than we can imagine, but we also have a much stronger power: to love one another as God has loved us.

 
 
 

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iLdoRight
Encouraging The Rightest Rightness
12:55 AM on 08/02/2011
Last night I used the "Bible Explorer" Limited Edition I mentioned below to look up the word "faith" in the Old Testament and found a verse text listed that did not appear in my King James Bible and are not listed as locations for that word in my Strong's or Young's Exhaustive Concordances of the Bible, so if you have one or get one be sure you check the text that it shows you in a Bible before using it as authentic scripture. There may be some explanation that I am not aware of, but just wanted to give you notice to double check.
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iLdoRight
Encouraging The Rightest Rightness
02:16 AM on 07/30/2011
I see there are several who did not let Ms. Daniel's partial use of Jesus words go without notice. At times I have mentioned the availability of the Bible on download free or on DVD from a place called ChristianBook.com (1-800-247-4784) for about $12 plus $4 for postage and one can get a Strong's or a Young's Exhaustive Concordance for around $14. I have not mentioned before the "Bible Explorer" Limited Edition computer program (about $9.97) that can look up words in the Bible very quickly so one can check the surrounding text and see if a scripture is being properly used. It does have several different Bible translations it can check, but it is possible to set it to only look in one like the King James if you want it to do only that. It has several reference books in it, but I am not sure what kind of off-center doctrine one might find in them, so I deleted them from my look up process. It can be a valuable tool for any who want to become more efficient it promoting the truth of what God's Word really says. It can be set to only look in the Old Testament, The New Testament or the whole Bible.
05:37 PM on 07/14/2011
So Lillian claims Jesus said, "I do not judge anyone who hears my words and does not keep them, for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world."

What is this woman smoking? He never said that. The closes he got to that was in John 3 where he says:

"God did not sen the Son of Man [referring to himself, of course] to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through him".

But Lillian wants to ignore what he immediately went on to say in his reply to Nicodemus:

"He who believes in him [in the Son of Man], is not judged; but he who does not believe is ALREADY CONDEMNED [judged] because he did not believe in the name of the only [or 'only-begotten'] Son of God."

No doubt even the next verse is embarrassing to Lillian, since it completely overturns the position she takes in the whole article:

"And this is the judgment: that the Light came into the world and men fell in love instead with the darkness since their deeds are evil".

Think about it.
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gal416
is a Bible verse † † †
09:12 AM on 07/19/2011
John 12:47 And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.
11:48 AM on 07/14/2011
I thought the article that Lillian posted was insightful relative to how can people react to being judged. Irrational, resentful or retaliatory reactions are fairly common kinds of behavior when people are subjected to judgmental scrutiny. However, I would like to know if anyone can find the passage (book, chapter, verse) of scripture that Dr. Daniel quoted in her article. I don't think it exists?
GHarry
Kitty wrangler
08:44 AM on 07/14/2011
Lillian Daniel's story, especially the way she concluded it with references to imaginary deities, is a good example of how religion serves as psychological crutch. Accepting the existence of supernatural beings, although there is not a shred of objective evidence that such beings exist, is a way of coping with the anxieties and uncertainties of life. Daniel might as well have cited Robin Hood or King Arthur as the deity who is looking down from the sky so benevolently. It doesn't matter, since all such beings are merely father figures created to provide comfort and security. Religion is a kind of self-induced delusion, and the sooner humankind acknowledges that -- and treats it accordingly -- the sooner we can leave behind the oppression, bloodshed and supersition that has always hobbled humankind.
11:52 PM on 07/13/2011
Dear Ms. Daniel,

I admire your spunky grandmother and your description of her. At the end of your post, however, you take a sharp turn that confused me.

Quoting:

'Jesus once said, "I do not judge anyone who hears my words and does not keep them, for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world."

My hunch is that he sees all of us in our cycles of blame and shame, and waits patiently for us to save each other.'

I think it is important to continue reading beyond your quote of John 12:47. Look at the very next verse, John 12:48:

"The one who rejects me and does not receive my words has a judge; the word that I have spoken will judge him on the last day."

Maybe it wasn't fair for people to judge your grandmother or her dog, Amos. But it's pretty clear that Jesus is talking about something very different in this passage. In the larger context, it's very clear that Jesus is warning against those who claim that there is no judgment just because he didn't judge. There is a judgement, and the way to escape it is to accept Jesus and receive his words. We ought to be compassionate to our neighbors, but we can't save them. Neither is God sitting back watching. He took decisive action in sending his son, Jesus Christ, to save us.
12:09 AM on 07/14/2011
Amen and amen.
de-meme-ing
Buying USA Feeds USA, Supports/Preserves USA
10:50 AM on 07/14/2011
John 5:22 "Moreover, the Father judges no one, but has entrusted all judgement to the Son.''
John 8:15 "You judge by human standards; I pass judgement on no one (I.e., secularly)."
John 12:47 "As for the person who hears my words but does not keep them, I do not judge him. For I did not come to judge the world, but to save it."

John 12:48:"The one who rejects me and does not receive my words has a judge; the word (logic/rationality) that I have spoken will judge him on the last day."

Jesus' judgement can be said to be based rationally, Matthew 5:17.


I suggest that an argument can be made that Jesus is speaking about separation of Church and State, speaking specifically against a theocracy.

We judge by human standards, i.e., secularism, and we judge that way necessarily or chaos, discrimination, prejudice, sexism, etc., would exist as it did for thousands of years under theocracies. Iow's, we have leash laws for a reason, and not because God said so, but because it is rational and logical to have leash laws and it is not rational or logical to violate them.

That said, Jesus judges spiritually, not secularly, and specifically says so. As I see it Jesus has distinctively and decisively separated Church from State. I suspect he has done so because he is familiar with the irrationality and often utter insanity of religious laws, and oft times secular law.
de-meme-ing
Buying USA Feeds USA, Supports/Preserves USA
05:39 PM on 07/13/2011
A delightful story. You were blessed. Thank you for sharing.
de-meme-ing
Buying USA Feeds USA, Supports/Preserves USA
05:34 PM on 07/13/2011
"Jesus once said, "I do not judge anyone who hears my words and does not keep them, for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world."

Recognizing my humanity, I also recognize that there are some people I just can't love, or may not be able to love; lack of love does not have to necessitate hate by default. In my humanity I recognize that there may be things I can't forgive, even won't forgive, even refuse to forgive......and then I pause and reconsider. I can always "give" that to Jesus, as the verse above implies, unloosening them and myself from a vicious cycle. Lack of forgiveness is not vengence by default, nor is it purposefully seeking to hurt another, sometimes it just our humanity.



I post because I know that there are people who have suffered horrible tragedy in their lives and to burden then with "having" to love, or "forcing" them to love when they can't, causes them to feel blame and shame, is coersion, potentially dangerous, and separates them from the love of Jesus Christ; and potentially entangles them in a love/hate relationship with those who have egregiously hurt them, and separates them from Jesus.
12:22 AM on 07/14/2011
Jesus tells us the importance of forgiving others in Matthew 6:14 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." God knows how hard it is to forgive those who continually hurt us and that's when we admit to Him that we don't have the ability to forgive them apart from Him and just lay it down at the feet of Jesus and ask Him to help us with doing that. Jesus said that we are to love even our enemies...He didn't say that we were to like them and have fellowship with them. Forgiveness is not an option for a believer.