Sarah Palin, American Girl Doll
Imagine American Girl is coming out with a new doll: Sarah Palin.
The thought occurred to me the first time I saw Sarah Palin announced as the Republican vice presidential candidate. Sarah most closely resembles Molly, the American Girl doll growing up during World War II, who is "Lively and patriotic, the star of her story." As the American Girl website states, Molly dreams of performing as "Miss Victory." Sarah dreams of becoming President.
Like the popular line of dolls and accessories that come with books based on preteen girl characters from various periods of American history, Sarah arrives ready for prime time adventure in a smart red suit and brings along special accessories, such as her Bible and her Moose Dressing Kit. She's soft and huggable, with hair for styling in a beehive. (Add Doll Hairbrush for $7. Enter special sales code for pundits.)
Sarah's doll body is human-sized; her head and smooth limbs are posable for thousands of media shots. As the Republican's first female vice presidential candidate, Sarah will be a collector's item treasured for years to come. Her accompanying "Meet Sarah" story, which debuted at the Republican National Convention, enhances her image with the homespun tale of this lively pioneer girl who goes from being crowned Miss Wasilla in 1984 and competing in the Miss Alaska pageant and others, where she played the flute and won "Miss Congeniality," to becoming governor of Alaska and eventually running for Vice President of the United States of America during Bush's age of "the angry left."
Not to get down on the American Girls, a subsidiary of Mattel (the manufacturer of Cindy McCain and Barbie). Seriously folks, I had Samantha when I was growing up, loved her. The company also offers "Just Like You dolls," made to resemble their owners. As the website advertises, "Every girl can find a doll to match her spirit and look--inside and out." Note that American Girl targets the seven- to eleven-year-old market; the books cover topics that Sarah has yet to seriously explore such as poverty, racism, animal abuse, and war.
But Karl Rove and his workshop are much more cunning doll makers than old Geppetto who carved Pinocchio, or Pleasant Rowland who began selling her American Girl dolls by mail order in 1986 after a trip to Colonial Williamsburg inspired her to make the dolls as Christmas gifts for her nieces.
Sarah likes to hunt, ice fish, ride snowmobiles, and chomp down on moose burgers. Spunky Sarah's story comes alive in the media for Republicans and Democrats. Like one of the sexy god-fearing diva characters from the HBO series Big Love, a contestant from American Idol, or reality TV, think Growing Up Palin, America is longing to experience Sarah's whole world. Women in book clubs, knitting circles, and trailer parks alike think she's real neat.
A special limited edition talking Sarah doll offers lessons about important choices for the future of the free world and life and our planet and friendship that touch men and women today. She repeats: "God is in control. Have faith that there is a reason for everything"; "John McCain"; "Drill, baby, drill"; and "I'm ready."
SarahTM opens up a world of play with items, which bring Sarah P.'s story to life:
• A navy blue suit with a rhinestone flag pin and red patent leather high heels, "Sarah's Country First ensemble" is not unlike "Molly's Holiday Fun Outfit." Sarah believes in makeovers, just not evolution.
• Shiny brown hair in a professional updo, her bun and bangs styled around her "smarty pants" glasses. Doll comes with Vapor Barrier Bunny Boots and a set of pink hot curlers from Sarah's favorite "Beehive Beauty Shop" in hellhole Wasilla, Alaska.
• Gun Totin', Bikini-wearin' Sarah Palin: American-Flag Bikini to be worn while strapping her rifle used for shooting moose and hunting a bigger grizzly to hang on her office wall than the boys. Whether Sarah is shooting wolves from a plane or hanging out around the pipeline with the girls and looking fashionable, the Sarah doll can be dressed in her hunting outfit, complete with camo Capri pants, a "Girl Power" tee, a camo and lace garter belt, pink camo hair scrunchie, pistol belt sandals, and U.S. military binoculars.
• A Bible sized just right for dolls to replace all of the books Sarah attempted to ban from her library.
• A toy Blackberry for sending personal e-mails about state affairs as Governor of Alaska. Also comes with Sarah Palin campaign pins, sparkly jewel stickers, and funky graphic decals to decorate the issues. Sarah's Wasilla High School yearbook, which the New York Times reported now doubles as a veritable directory of the Alaska state government. A big glass of cheap red wine for toasting herself to the cameras.
• When things get icy: a hockey stick and ice skates for work and play.
• A breast-feeding blanket sewn with salmon and moose designs.
• Frighteningly Fun Witch Outfit for Girls and Doll: Sarah's Tina Fey Halloween costume.
Order Sarah today along with her four miniatures, her daughter dolls at her side, Bristol, Willow, and Piper, in smaller sizes like Russian nesting dolls, including Baby Trig. Through Bristol's teen pregnancy, who comes with a Bitty Baby, "a bun in her oven" to welcome home, Sarah learns the importance of pulling together.
Every Barbie needs her Ken, every G.I. Jane her Joe. For the die-hard collector, the Sarah doll comes paired with The First Dude, batteries not included. For a limited time also available, Sarah Palin's Daughter's "Redneck" Boyfriend. Now on the Home Shopping Network: Just Like You...Dress Like Your Doll.
NEW!
• Pet pig wearing lipstick in "Patriotic Red."
Ways to buy Sarah...Order the Palin doll today. Vote Obama.
America, aren't we too old to be playing with dolls?
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I don't think she knows any real American values. Not any I want her teaching my daughters!
Who cares if she looks like a doll? Who cares what she thinks? She is not running for President. She is not going to be in office if McCain is not elected President so why are we wasting so much time talking about lipsticked pigs and such non-important issues. Wake up America! We are in such times that require us to be serious about our economy, global issues, earths resources, etc.
She is really distracting people from the more important work ahead as leader of this country.
She may look like a doll but it doesn't belong in the White House.
when i see young girls go gaga over young pop stars that really don't appear to have much depth i can understand because kids are young, having fun, and pop stars idolization is not that serious. however when i see GROWN ADULT WOMEN holding lipstick up in the air at rally's going GAGA......
but this is not a harmless fantasy, this is real and has consequences.
i have seen some articles on the dumming down of the office culture in corporations where adults
play games for "team building". i have played in these games and it often seems like some sort of
intstitutionalized infantilism. i think there is a common thread.
SARAH-GEDDON
by Mark Ames --- The Nation --- September 15, 2008
Palin thrilled at the prospect of taking America to war with Russia over Georgia on behalf of Big Oil giant BP - McCain and his lobbyists in this up to their eyeballs.
http://www
No doubt the shotgun and carefully highlighted Bible are sold separately
And all this time, I thought it really was Molly running for VP.
Hmm are they gonna have Tina Fey dolls too.
This doll looks like 'Margaret' from the old 'Dennis The Menace' TV show.
Samantha? Is that from Sex and the City or
'Bewitched', I'd go for Bewitched.
"You know the difference between a hockey-mom and a Fuhrer?"
"A mustache!"
---
This woman is so discredited by now, that any new arguments and "proof" are just preaching to the choir. Whoever can still contemplate voting for her is motivated only by faith over reason and all these new anti-Palin article are tantamount to waving dinosaur bones in front of a Creationist. No use! Dead end! Waste of time!
All we can do is GET OUT THE VOTE!!!
I do my share at http://www
And for thought-provoking - and very topical - comic relief I'd recommend http://www
Obama-Bide
Please!!!
" As the first female vice presidential candidate, Sarah will be a collector's item treasured for years to come. "
Apparently the author here has forgotten (or didn't learn) that the first female vice presidential candidate was Geraldine Ferraro.
Perhaps she means the first vice presidential candidate manufactored by Mattel?
... no, no.. that leaves out poor ol'e Dan Quayle.
wut
If only we could keep her in a box like we do the dolls.
Replace every "Sarah" with "Hillary" and Democrats would have gone totally ballistic.
Strange how that is, eh??
Michale...
Hmmm that statement has only 2 problems with it.....
1) Hillary has a brain and is well informed about what is going on in the rest of the 49 states- outside Alaska
2) Sarah Palin has a very finite amount of grey matter and knows nothing about what is going on in the other 49 states- outside Alaska
Any Questions?
Thank you for proving my point so perfectly.
Sexism is perfectly OK if it is from a Democrat directed at a Republican
Michale...
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