I feel like it was just yesterday that I was complaining about how ABC no longer shows gratuitous shirtless scenes of Sean making out and now they have him covered in awful sweaters -- that must be the losing end of a bet. You'd think if the wardrobe department was going full-on Canadian stereotype, they'd make him wear a Maple Leaf jersey or a Robin Sparkles graffiti coat instead of that monstrosity. I guess that's what real mountain men who love the outdoors as much as Sean does wear. Who cares that it's zero degrees outside. Bear Grylls has nothing on Sean. This is Bachelor vs. Wild and these ladies will stop at nothing to conquer nature.
The Glacier Date
For Catherine's first one-on-one date, Sean picks her up in a snow bus. A snow bus that he was driving. Call me crazy, but I found this extremely attractive. So did Cathy. She didn't care that he made her put on a red onesie so they could go play on a glacier during a blizzard. It made no difference that small beads of jagged ice kept pelting her raw face. She would stop at nothing to make snow angels and do front flips on the rock hard earth. Succumbing to wind burn is for quitters! Catherine passes the blizzard test and is rewarded with dinner in a literal ice castle. She'll never feel her fingers again, but she just might find love. Sean chisels the rose out of a block of ice and asks her to accept. Through chattering teeth, she does.
Polar Bear Plunge
After making seven of the bachelorettes canoe across Lake Louise, Sean encourages them to strip down to their string bikinis and jump into the frigid cold lake so they can all be members of the Polar Bear Club. Come on! It will be fun! Princess Selma refuses to put her life at risk and generously reapplies a coat of Chapstick to her non-kissable lips. Lesley believes hypothermia is totally worth a rose and AshLee tries to organize her emotions to portray anything but sheer terror. Six of the seven go in. One of the six is rushed to the hospital. Any guesses?
A Case of Hypothermia
That's right! Tierra's turning several shades of blue! She's given a wheelchair, a cup of Starbucks, a quick once over with a Chi hair dryer, a burger from the grill and oxygen to be on the safe side. Sean visits her room, convinced that she should just stay put and rest. There's no need to attend a party when you're in grave danger of half your toes falling off. But Tierra will not miss out. She will come back from near death and wreak havoc on anyone in her path. She's a lone wolf in the wild and can not be tamed. [Cue wolf howl playback.]
Mountain and Tree Climbing
Sean promises Des a picnic, but first, she must prove her love, conquer her fears and convince him that he's worth repelling down a mountain. Or at least the sushi waiting on the picnic blanket is worth all of that. Des is hungry! She says the phrase, "it's steep" no less than 57 times. They pause twice for a quickie make-out session and I confuse her for Joey Potter the entire time. She would have totally rocked that canoe date on the creek. I'm just saying. After consuming a few California rolls, Des challenges Sean to a tree climbing contest. Sean digs this and later gives her a rose inside a random teepee wearing the ridiculous aforementioned sweater.
To read the entire recap, visit www.iHateGreenBeans.com.
"The Bachelor" returns to its regular timeslot next week: Mondays at 8 p.m. EST on ABC.
<strong>Season 1:</strong> In the first season, bachelor Alex Michel did <em>not</em> propose to the woman he chose. His relationship with Amanda Marsh lasted for several months.
<strong>Season 2:</strong> Buerge proposed to Helene Eksterowicz on-air. They broke up five weeks after the finale was broadcast. Buerge, who's now settled down with a wife and kids, filled for bankruptcy in 2011.
<strong>Season 3:</strong> In keeping with season 2, Andrew Firestone, the great-grandson of the founder of The Firestone Tire and Rubber Company, proposed to his lady of choice. However, they broke up a couple of months later. He is now married to actress Ivana Bozilovic.
<strong>Season 4:</strong> Guiney, who was a contestant on the first season of "The Bachelorette," did not propose during the finale, but offered winner Estella Gardinier a promise ring.
<strong>Season 5:</strong> This Canadian boy was the first non-American bachelor to be featured on the show. The sports commentator, who previously played in the NFL and CFL, chose to date Jessica Bowlin, but they broke up within a few months.
<strong>Season 6:</strong> Compared to the previously mentioned "Bachelor" relationships, Byron Velvick and his lady-of-choice Maribel Delgado lasted for quite some time. In 2004 he proposed to her in Spanish so that her parents could understand him. They broke up in 2009.
<strong>Season 7:</strong> For the first time ever in "Bachelor" history, the final rose ceremony was broadcast live on national television. O'Connell did not propose to Sarah Brice, but instead chose to carry on a non-marital relationship. They broke up and got back together several times.
<strong>Season 8, Paris:</strong> Travis Stork chose schoolteacher Sarah Stone. Like every other "Bachelor," the relationship did not last. Stork is now known as one of the doctors shelling out advice on the show "The Doctors."
<strong>Season 9, Rome:</strong> This Italian 'royal' and celebrity animal activist did not propose to the winner he chose. They dated and broke up a year after they filmed the show.
<strong>Season 10</strong> One month after the season finale, Andy Baldwin and his fiancée called off their engagement -- not surprisingly --but continued their relationship. They officially broke up in 2007.
<strong>Season 11 & 15:</strong> In an unprecedented move, Brad Womack rejected both finalists in the season 11 finale. He returned to be "The Bachelor" in season 15 and proposed to his "choice," Emily Maynard. The two were engaged for a short period of time, and very publicly split last year.
<strong>Season 12, London Calling:<strong> This English financier and business development manager from London chose Shayne Lamas as the winner. They broke up within months.
<strong>Season 13:</strong> In the season finale, Jason Mesnick called off his engagement with the winner and resumed a relationship with runner-up Molly Malaney. They wed in 2010 and their wedding aired on television.
<strong>Season 14:</strong> This Texas-born "Bachelor" first got his taste at reality TV on "The Bachelorette." Since "The Bachelor" he's been on some reality shows, including "Dancing with the Stars."
<strong>Season 16:</strong> Ben Flajnik is still very clear in our minds. Flajnik and Courtney Robertson broke up in February 2012 while their season was still airing. They reconciled and are now engaged. The two of them don't live in the same city, and are currently going back-and-forth about who will move for the other.