Hands down, this season of "The Bachelor" (Mondays at 8 p.m. EST on ABC) rivals that random Prince's season as the most boring in franchise history. The Feb. 27 episode didn't even come close to entertaining. I would call it a distant cousin of mediocre. Like Ben's wardrobe, it was two hours of a bland, forgetful ensemble. In order to spare you the mundane details, I fashioned a fun little quiz to help make the recap more interesting.
1. Which article of clothing did you find most attractive on Ben?
- The grey t-shirt
- The slate Levis
- The granite coat
- The smoky tie
- None of the above. I sometimes miss and definitely prefer Ames' red chinos.
2. At what point in Switzerland did Ben almost throw up?
- When the helicopter went straight down the side of a mountain while he was with Nicki on their date.
- When he went repelling down the side of a mountain while he was with Lindzi on their date.
- When Courtney played mind games with him and there was a moment he thought she would forgo the forgo card opportunity.
- When Kacie B. came back and told him that Courtney was "in it to win it."
- When Our Host Chris Harrison sent word that he wouldn't be able to deliberate before the rose ceremony, only to show up moments later shouting, "SYKE!"
3. What was Our Host Chris Harrison thinking about while debriefing with Ben?
- "Remember to look concerned."
- "I wonder if the ABC intern refilled my boot flask?"
- "I've got to land this plane. Soon."
- "I'll give him 10,000 to consult my personal stylist and go shopping."
- "Next time, I'm insisting the studio flies Roberto out to meet me."
4. Which describes the ideal hot tub scenario for Ben?
- One that is the size of a wine barrel.
- One that appears to be a bath tub with questionable glowing blue water.
- One that actually has jets that circulate bubbles.
- He doesn't care. There are half-naked chicks sitting in his lap.
- Any hot tub that includes his good buddy Constantine.
5. True or False: Someone loaned Ben a flat iron for his hair.
6. Who did you predict the mysterious woman would be who crashed Room 414?
- You knew it was Kacie B. from the legs.
- You thought it could be Ashley coming back to give Ben advice.
- Shawntel can't take a hint and thinks the odds are forever in her favor.
- Courtney is on the prowl for some fun in Switzerland with an outfit that involves naughty lederhosen.
- The ABC intern lost a bet.
7. What was the most cliche moment from last night's episode?
- Conquering a fear of heights ... again.
- Comparing the fact that you can "see forever" on top of a mountain to "seeing yourself forever with this man."
- Ben pretending he had a hard time deciding whether or not to give The Model a rose.
- Recommending a drinking game corresponding with the amount of times Courtney touches her hair.
- Nicki's toga dress at the rose ceremony.
8. True or False: Lindzi's pants were forgone in the forgo card fantasy suite.
9. What was the most "special" part about the promo for Emily's upcoming season of The Bachelorette?
- Ali's signature yellow tank top, blue yoga pants.
- Ashley wearing a skirt purchased from Build-A-Bear.
- Going to see Titanic in cocktail dresses and four-inch heels.
- The fact that we had to watch them get dressed in cocktail dresses and four-inch heels to go see Titanic in 3-D.
- The retro 3-D glasses.
10. Who will Ben propose to in two weeks?
- Who cares?
You all receive an A+ for putting up with such nonsense. Congratulations! To read the recap in its entirety, feel free to visit www.iHateGreenBeans.com.