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Has the Baby Boomer Man Gone to Sleep on the Job?

11/06/2007 03:48 pm ET | Updated Nov 17, 2011

By now most of us have heard of the so-called cougar, that sexy older woman who is all about town with a handsome younger guy. Between the articles, websites and movies, cougars are everywhere. And while its great that women who are over 40 are actually being talked about as the vibrant, sexy creatures we are, there are some problems. First of all, the circulating definition of cougar narrows who we are. The Real Cougar woman is a fascinating character study. She is changing the social landscape of this country. She is revolutionizing, how woman over 40 see themselves. She is sexy, smart, independent and not afraid to take risks. I find it fascinating to dig deep to see what motivates her, what scares her and how she handles the joy and the pain that accompany her evolution.

The Real Cougar is ready to shake things up. She isn't afraid to walk away from what is no longer working. But, here's the other problem. How is that affecting her male counterpart? What's happening to the boomer man? Is the former "King of the Jungle" limping along dragging his tail between his legs? And, the big question is, will this sleeping lion, wake up and start fighting for what he wants? I think he will find his roar and that's what will ignite the next big trend in this country.

But, to be more specific, the thing that will get the sleeping lions roaring again, will be survival. Getting to the point where they are sick and tired of being sick and tired. Fed up with being bored and lethargic. Willing to challenge their macho egos rather than have their women walk out the door. Nothing kills a relationship faster than not working at it. First your sex life goes. Following close behind is communication and before you know it, you're left with only anger and resentment. Traditionally, it has been the man who has left when things got bad. But, now the woman is taking the initiative and walking away.

So guys, you have been asleep at the switch. I know it takes two to tango, but you have to shoulder a big part of the responsibility. Too many of the boomer men have become complacent, lazy and angry. They are feeling their age, but instead of recreating themselves, they are wallowing in self pity. They're not taking care of their health, both physical and emotional and all those unresolved issues are now coming back to haunt them.

The lion has lost his roar and whether he is married, divorced or single, he is losing out to the younger man. The Cougar Hunter is winning. The younger man with the passionate dreams, the robust sex drive and a real appreciation for the Cougar Woman is capturing the brass ring.

But there is hope. One thing I know for sure about boomer men is they are competitive as hell. They don't like to lose. That's why I am confident they are going to wake up and start fighting to get back what they've lost. They are going to step up to the plate. Here's a few hints on how to do that:

* find something that will reignite your passion for life and get you out of the old familiar rut
* turn off the TV - start exercising and lose that pot belly
* do whatever it takes to revive your sex drive - first step - have your testosterone levels checked
* start focusing on the things you like about your woman not what you don't like
* create intrigue, woman love it - any positive change in your behavior will intrigue her (but it has to be genuine or it won't work)
* reconnect with the romance
* stop feeling sorry for yourself

The Real Cougar woman is worth fighting for. She is smart, sexy, independent and wants to be loved and adored. So Boomer Guys - stop focusing on age....it's not about age. The Real Cougar has already figured that out. It's all about attitude! Show your woman you've still got what it takes to make her laugh. Show her you've got what it takes to make her happy in bed. Reconnect with your passion and I guarantee your tail won't be dragging any more. Aren't you ready to roar?