Real Cougar Woman Are Not Sugar Mamas

Why is it that any time a woman breaks free from the conventional box society has placed her in, she inherits a degrading label? It's not fair. If she succeeds in climbing the corporate ladder, she's a bitch. If she looks 10 years younger than other women her age, she's called a predator. And now, taking it one step further, if she is in a relationship with a younger man she's suddenly a "sugar mama" or more commonly these days, a "cougar."

It seems these days that you can't pick up any magazine or turn on any channel without someone talking about cougars. While I love that women over 40 are being claimed in the public domain, I hate the vulgarity -- and frankly the lack of truth -- that accompanies those discussions.

This month in New York City a speed dating contest took place. It was billed as Sugar Mamas and Boy Toys. To be part of this spectacle, the woman had to be older than 35 and earn a salary of $500,000 -- or have at least $4 million in liquid assets. There was just one rule for the men -- they had to look good. This newest version of speed dating doesn't make any sense to me at all. Why would any successful woman want to be part of such a high profile publicity stunt? Ask yourself would Anna Wintour, Martha Stewart, Amy Grant, Sheryl Crow, Katie Couric, Arianna Huffington -- all Real Cougars -- be part of such a charade? I don't think so.

While it may be true that more women over forty are enjoying relationships with younger men they aren't putting themselves on some kind of public auction block. We are not desperate, sex starved broads. We are women who understand that we have choices, that we need not live by someone else's set of rules and that if that means there are more wonderful choices available to us when we consider romance, then so be it! We will enjoy the expanded landscape.

Of course, I am not denying that it's extremely flattering for an older woman to capture the attention and admiration of a younger man, but there are limits. Good looks and sexual prowess aren't enough to sustain a satisfying relationship. Any Real Cougar woman wants a companion who is confident and as emotionally and financially independent as she is. If she finds that in a younger package, what's the problem?

So let's make this perfectly clear once and for all. A Real Cougar is not out stalking young guys. Younger men are seeking her company because she has so much to offer. Real Cougars are trend setters and every woman wants to be a Real Cougar whether she admits it or not. We have worked hard to earn what we've got and one thing is for sure is we don't flaunt our cleavage or our bank accounts in the hopes of snagging a "boy toy".

Most women hate the labels that men make up for us. It doesn't matter whether its it's been trophy wife or Mrs. Robinson. It's no surprise then, the women who showed up at the speed dating event the other night notwithstanding, all the smart, sexy women who are I know and who visit my site hate the term "sugar mama." If there's going to be a name for us out there in the ether, we will decide it. And it's Real Cougar.

It's Real Cougar whether we're married or single. It's Real Cougar because understand how to get what we want with being exploited and without exploiting someone else. It's Real Cougar because finally, it really is our turn to roar!

Linda Franklin is the founder and director of High-Yield Living, www.highyieldliving.com, a web-based information and product service for women.

Comments

[dryfactoidobotanoid]

in conclusion:

there must be some solution to constraining national male sexual energy, without encumbering the economy with female obesity.

[DMSmith]

When my hair turned gray, I had just decided I needed to pay attention to who was interested in me instead of simply going after those I wanted.

I was shocked when I found out how many of those were much younger than I. Yet, I was what/who they were actively looking for.

I'm now 62. My partner is 29 and we've been together since he was 23. He moved across country to be with me. We've both found what we were looking for.

My comment? How nice!

[dryfactoidobotanoid]

TMI.

[MichaelCanfield]

And yet you freely adopt the "boy toys" label of younger men open to dating women older than themselves. Also, the term "sugar mama" which is rarely if ever heard is a derivation of the term "sugar daddy" which everyone has heard.

People get labeled by the media, and not just women people.

[dryfactoidobotanoid]

one more sociological observation: surplus male sexual energy also produces violence in poor urban areas, where obesity is especially concentrated.

[starboymikey]

one more sociological observation: surplus male sexual energy also produces violence in poor urban areas, where obesity is especially concentrated.
_____________________________________________

Huh?

[dryfactoidobotanoid]

cf. Konrad Lorenz

[dryfactoidobotanoid]

also, I had another comment between this one and my first one.

[dryfactoidobotanoid]

... on the other hand, having a surplus of male sexual energy is good for recruiting the military and overall economic productivity. on the other other hand, obesity is a drag on the economy and overall national morale. etc.

[dryfactoidobotanoid]

I'm not saying Demi Moore isn't hot, but *in general* men in America -- and increasingly in Europe and even Asia -- are so desperate because of the shortage of non-fat chicks. at least the mass media is finally talking about obesity (tripling strokes in women, being socially contagious, Obama talking about how obesity costs a trillion dollars to the health care system).