Well humbug and icicles. It's freezing outside. And windy. Did you notice? (Florida and California, I'm not talking to you, but quit bragging and bear with me here.) So when it's bitter cold and windy, do you feel like getting out of bed? Not me. And do you feel like washing your hair in that icy shower, freezing your follicles, not to mention your soul, to near death? Didn't think so.
The only difference is that when you don't wash your hair, you can fix it into a cute ponytail, or chignon, or... scarf. Not me. You can experiment with different tops and bottoms that you love, that boost your mood and your confidence. Not me. On this, the third day of no mirror, I was Scrubs McGees-Mannering, and I found out in five clues, no fewer.
My first clue that something was amiss was when my coffee guy said I had a nice ass. Well, then, that's never happened before. I'm Irish. So... what gives? Oh! Excellent! My sweater is too short and doesn't cover my tush. So essentially I'm walking around in tights with my derriere in plain view. You're welcome.
My second clue wasn't so subtle. "Hey Mannering, your underwear is showing." Oh! Excellent! Didn't think of wearing seamless under-roos because I didn't see the lines in the mirror that I didn't look in, and I sure as heck didn't see it coming.
Third clue, yet again, not too camouflaged. "Rough night? Where'd you party?" Oh! Excellent! I look hung over from my busy night of watching Top Chef reruns and eating cavatelli pasta with sausage and brown sage butter! Hung over was not what I was going for. I was going for cozy-chic, not cozy-shit.
Fourth clue: "You've got red marker on your face." Oh! Excellent! I must've been a little over-zealous when proofing the 2011 budget, I explained. "Oh, wait, no, that's a scab." Oh! Even better! My face is bleeding and I had no idea. I dabbed concealer on it as best I could. Shambles.
The fifth and final clue was... and don't you dare say this all French-like in your head, because there was absolutely nothing cultured, nothing refined about it... the fifth and final clue was the piece de resistance.
I popped into a baby store on my block to buy a gift for my 3 year-old cousin. While waiting in the insanely long check-out line I got to chatting with the woman behind me. We were exchanging exasperated words about the heat in the store, and the noise, and the lines, and the lighting, when she opened her chapped lips and said, "Well I can tell you've got a new one at home, keeping you up all night, too. But we can get through this."
I have no kids and, for the record, no pets.
I know we all have bad hair days, and bad face days, and bad outfit days. What made this one so interesting is that I was suprised by it, and then couldn't fix it. So, I'm washing and blow-drying my hair tonight and I'm never wearing this sweater again. Day four is tomorrow.
Follow Lindsay Mannering on Twitter: www.twitter.com/LindsayVirginia
One of the best things I ever did for myself was shave my head. Gave me new perspective on the anxiety and energy I devoted to my hair for years. I was already sick w/ auto-immune issues and my hair was shedding in clumps, so I shaved the whole thing. I didn't expect it would be so liberating and illuminating.
We went Christmas shopping today, and the mall was full of people in short sleeves and shorts. We also have low humidity, unlike Florida.
Ramble up the stairwell, into the hall of books...
Since we got the interweb these hardly get used.
Duck into the men's room... combing thru my hair...
When god gave us mirrors he had no idea...
Looking for a lesson in the periodicals...
There I spy you listening to the AM radio...
Karen of the carpenters- singing in the rain...
Another lovely victim of the mirror's evil way.
It's not like you're not trying, with a pencil in your har
To defy the beauty the good lord put in there...
Simple little bookworm- buried underneath...
Is the sexiest librarian... take off those glasses and let down your hair for me.
So I watch you thru the bookcase- imaging a scene:
You and I at dinner, spending time, then to sleep.
And what then would I say to you- lying there in bed?
These words, with a kiss, I would plant in your head:
"what is it inside our heads that makes us do the opposite?
Makes us do the opposite of what's right for us?
Cause everything'd be grrreat... and everything'd be good...
If everybody gave... like everybody could."
Sweetest little bookworm. hidden underneath...
Is the sexiest librarian...
Take off those glasses and let your hair down for me.
Simple little beauty- heaven in your breath.
The simplest of pleasures- the world at it's best.
Cheers.