THE BLOG
02/13/2014 09:45 am ET | Updated Apr 15, 2014

The One: How to Tell If You've Met That Game Changer Girl

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She laughs at your jokes. She looks equally incredible in a dress or a t-shirt. She's witty, intelligent, fun to be around, and the sex is fantastic. But something tells you it's different this time and you may be face-to-face with a potential Game Changer. Here's your chance to roll up your sleeves and figure out if she's the one you'll go the distance with, the one you'd give up that easy feeling of singlehood for, the one you can trust with that part of you that you keep safely hidden from the world. Men are not known for being super intuitive, so this is your guide to spotting your Game Changer early on, so you don't screw it up and regret it later on.

Your girl might just be The One if:

She's honest with you

A woman who is worth hanging up your dating hat for leaves you guessing to a certain extent, but is capable of looking you in the eye and revealing her true nature. You can tell when you've got a girl who is truly genuine and in the moment -- she makes you feel comfortable by being direct, and is far removed from the evasive or vague communication tactics some women employ. She shares her past with you gradually, because she understands that men need that element of mystery to keep anticipation alive. She's not afraid to show you her fears, doubts and insecurities, because she is ultimately confident and intrepid. She's honest and straightforward because she's good with who she is and wants a partner who adores her for her weaknesses as well as her strengths.

She respects your need for space

Women who try to control your time are not Game Changers. A Game Changer is curious about you but respectful. She wants to know what makes you tick, from your passions and goals to your motivations and fears, but she allows you to share what you want when you're ready. She also deeply values her own freedom and understands that time apart makes your time together that much more enjoyable.

She doesn't need your attention

There are many women who exude confidence at first, but start to show dependent tendencies by failing to read and acknowledge certain boundaries you may try to set, or by putting her needs first automatically. For instance, you've got plans with the boys but her bad day at work leaves her begging for your time and attention. This is a woman who will require frequent ego stroking, which we all know is not something you want in a life partner. Your Game Changer Girl lets you do your thing, graciously accepts (not expects) compliments, and can make herself happy.

She doesn't try to change you

This is perhaps the most important telltale sign of a keeper. A woman who truly loves you is down for all that you are. She won't try to force her opinions on you regarding how you spend your time, how you dress, who your friends are, your work situation, your hobbies, etc. A woman who starts asking you to change little things will never be happy, never accept you for exactly who you are at your core.

She doesn't need "forever"

The girl of your dreams isn't trying to "get" you; she appreciates the time you spend together and doesn't expect you to make promises for your future self. A girl who pressures you with questions about the future is more concerned with the destination and is not truly enjoying the journey.

She's kind but not motherly, assertive but not demanding

When you get involved with "The One," she will be able to express her opinions with a healthy detachment and care for you with kindnesses that lift you up and motivate you. Demanding women are impossible to satisfy, but women who gently encourage you will enable you to grow and evolve at your own pace.

She lets you be the hero (at times)

As Dr. Martin Johnson revealed in his blog entitled The One Thing a Guy Wants, it's in a man's DNA to try to save the day, make things right, and consistently remain a hero to the woman he loves. Your Game Changer Girl is not too proud to let you in and give you opportunities to help her solve problems, but she also doesn't expect you to save her from every little challenge that comes along.

She doesn't run

You know you've met your Game Changer when she can handle the heavy stuff without disappearing. She's there when you need her, not when it's convenient. She understands that rough patches are part of the symphony of a relationship, and can give you space or stand next to you depending on what you need most. She doesn't make conflict all about her and can be supportive without either extreme of clinginess or abandonment.

You don't run

Your Game Changer Girl -- that one who makes you see life with more clarity and optimism -- won't be perfect, but she will be authentic, strong, supportive, gracious and appreciative. She'll love you for everything you are as well as everything you're not, and she won't try to fit you into her image of the perfect man. When you find her, and there's a rough patch, see it through -- she's worth it.

Image credit: shotsstudio / 123RF Stock Photo

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