5 Headaches Only Whiskey Drinkers Understand

03/26/2014 12:00 pm 12:00:32 | Updated May 26, 2014

Exorbitant pricing; too-short pours; sad, melty ice: These are problems we whiskey fans know all too well.

We've collected the most common -- and infuriating -- situations whiskey-lovers run into. Click through and commiserate. It's nice to know there's someone else who understands.

Which of these situations have you experienced? Did we miss any?

  • 1. Bad Ice
  • This isn’t something we typically have to worry about at a fancy cocktail bar with high-tech ice machines or hand-carved cubes. But there’s nothing worse than ordering a bourbon on the rocks and having it come out filled with tiny pebbles that will melt in a grand total of five minutes. It leaves you with a watered-down, tasteless drink—and no one wants that. Plus, who knows when that ice maker was last cleaned? When we’re out at our favorite dives, we always go neat.

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  • 2. Stingy Pours
  • Two fingers isn’t too much to ask. It’s only reasonable to expect a heftier pour when it’s the only thing in the glass. But when you get just enough to barely moisten the bottom of a rocks glass? Unacceptable. You’re paying for it, right? Which brings us to our next point...

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  • 3. High Prices
  • A glass of good Scotch or small-batch bourbon is generally going to cost a pretty penny. You are ordering a (hopefully) healthy pour of straight-up spirit, after all. But we still want to cry when the total for one glass comes in over twenty bucks. And don’t even get us started on Pappy Van Winkle.

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  • 4. Lectures
  • Yeah, yeah, we get it, malt snobs. You don’t like your whiskey mixed with anything except more whiskey. But that doesn’t mean you need to lecture us on ordering a cocktail made with bourbon or Scotch or taking it with a little ice or water. We should be able to order whatever we want without a random barfly complaining in his best crotchety-old-man voice about how we’re doing it wrong.

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  • 5. Soda-gun Water
  • Sometimes a stronger whiskey needs a little help opening up in the glass, and you don’t want an ice cube in there diluting it too much. So you’re in a tight spot. Some bars will give you a shot of “water” from the soda gun that’s laced with corn-syrup sweetness or the distinctive artificial-citrus tang of 7UP or Sprite, and there goes your perfectly balanced glass of whiskey. What’s a whiskey-lover to do?

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    (Photo by Denise Mattox via Flickr)


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