Watching the Ravens and 49ers knock helmets yesterday I thought back to an article I wrote two years ago about parents and the dangers of football. A college player had killed himself, and an autopsy found years of post concussive damage that might have led to depression and, in turn, his suicide.
Will this lead parents to start pulling their sons off football teams, I wondered?
At the time I concluded that not enough was known to make that a logical response. Of course, I conceded, few of our parenting responses are logical. Humans repeatedly show themselves to be spectacularly poor judges of risk, and parents seem even less adept. We refuse to let junior walk to school, even though the odds of him being kidnapped is minuscule, particularly compared to the very real risk of a crash while driving the same route, or that of diabetes and obesity from never walking anywhere at all.
So, at the time, I cautioned that pulling our children out of a sport because of what seemed a remote possibility of long-term injury was probably an over-reaction.
I don't feel that way anymore.
I've changed my mind mostly because we have more data. Like the report last fall from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention finding a nearly four-fold increase in Alzheimer's and Lou Gehrig's disease upon autopsy of former NFL players. Like the work being done at Boston University, finding evidence of CTE, or chronic traumatic encephalopathy, on nearly every autopsied football player's brain, including the teenagers in the group. Or the nearly 3,400 lawsuits filed by former players or their surviving relatives, accusing the NFL of knowing of the dangers but not mitigating, or even publicly acknowledging, them. Or the now infamous Pee Wee game in Southbridge, MA, during which five children. some as young as 10, suffered concussions.
As a result, parents are starting to rethink the sport. The website VOXXI reported last month that "more and more moms and dads, or players, are deciding against playing football with recent participation numbers revealing a 15 to 20 percent decrease." President Barack Obama is apparently among those with second thoughts, telling The New Republic "I'm a big football fan, but I have to tell you if I had a son, I'd have to think long and hard before I let him play football."
So would I.
True, they are too old for Pee Wee ball now (and were never really interested in the sport) so for me the point is theoretical. Still, in the risk/benefit equation that is parenting, this choice is becoming one of the easy ones. A sport that rattles children's brains is probably not a sport that our children should be playing. At least not with current rules, equipment and win-at-all-cost attitudes. The risk of lifelong damage is too high. Where two years ago I wondered if parents were being a tad over-protective in taking their children off the field, today I wonder whether they are being reckless in allowing them to don pads and helmets and head out there in the first place.
Much safer to let them walk to school alone. Good exercise, too.
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Some scary stuff.
My boys won't be playing football. It's an avoidable risk.
No doubt there are dangers associated with football. At the same time, males-boys-young men-are being more and more coddled and softened to the point that a generation of boys are being raised in such a way that this country is going to be filled with men who have never been hit, never had to hit and are growing increasingly dependent upon others to defend themselves.
Just look at how the military treats its veterans.
All of mine did some sport and music. We wanted them to grow and learn to excel both collectively and as individuals. I don't believe it's necessary to put a child's health at risk to teach him how to be a man. My husband is a powerful man, physically. He's also one of the kindest and most nurturing men I've ever met. He doesn't use his physicality to make his way in the world. Instead, he relies on his mind and his sense of compassion.
Should I feel guilty when those Friday night lights go on and he's out there as quarterback? Should I feel worried, or like I am a bad parent? Maybe, but I admit. I get caught up in the excitement of the games, in my son's excitement and the whole football spirit. Bad parent? Selfish? I don't know.
have you thought that it might just possibly be due to the fact that your son is actually growing up? he's 11, it's silly to attribute football over basketball or soccer, for example (which btw are much safer sports that also require a lot more mental acuity), as the reason he's developing these virtues. if he played football first and you let him join the bball team at 11 you might rethink your logic.
If, as you said, you were *watching* the Ravens and 49'ers, you sent a clear message to everyone that knows you: it's entertainment you approve of.
Hard knocks is the one you want. It addresses the issue of accumulated effect.