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Lisa Belkin

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Jay-Z Says He Might Still Call Women Bitches

Posted: 01/18/2012 4:09 pm

Dear Mr. Carter (or may I call you Jay-Z, since you don't seem to put much stock in formality?)

You have apparently told the Daily News that you have not stopped using the word "bitch" after all. For two days you refused to comment on reports that a poem renouncing that word was written by you. But today you are quoted as saying "That poem and story are fake."

I hope you understand that while the words attributed to you may have been fake, the response of countless fans to what they thought was your announcement was very very real. When millions of people believed you had realized that the misogyny in rap lyrics was offensive (a realization they believed you'd reached now that you have a daughter) they all said "it's about time."

I know you are busy tonight with the re-opening of your club 40/40, but maybe you could find a little time to read some of the thoughts in the 500-plus comments here on The Huffington Post.

Read about how other parents of other daughters find the word "bitch" (among more words you are so fond of) insulting. Listen to them question how your wife, who is a champion of strong girls, feels about it. Look for one single comment here that says "dang it Jay-Z, I refuse to buy your records if you don't call women nasty names." You won't find one. Instead you will find a lot of people who know that words have power, and who also know that you are a maestro with words, and who figure you can probably come up with some better ones than the lazy, vulgar shortcuts you've gotten into the habit of using.

Jay-Z, I am apologizing here to my readers. I assumed that you had written the poem in question, because it had been "vetted" by several sites with far more expertise in the music industry than I have. That was my mistake, and I don't like to make mistakes.

But I am not the only one who should be issuing an apology. I'm thinking you also owe one, to your public -- not for the words that aren't actually yours, but for the ones that still are.

Sincerely,

Lisa Belkin

 
 
 
Dear Mr. Carter (or may I call you Jay-Z, since you don't seem to put much stock in formality?) You have apparently told the Daily News that you have not stopped using the word "bitch" after all. For...
Dear Mr. Carter (or may I call you Jay-Z, since you don't seem to put much stock in formality?) You have apparently told the Daily News that you have not stopped using the word "bitch" after all. For...
 
 
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04:00 PM on 01/20/2012
Bitch is no longer a bad word. It is a joke word. I don't know any woman who takes offense at this word. It means strong and determined and authentic. That's bitchin'! means way cool, awesome. To bitch someone out means to speak your mind. Back when women were not supposed to be strong, determined, authentic or speak their mind, bitch was a word shrouded in fear. Now it has earned respect. It is a female dog. The one who does all the work. Who pays the price for fooling around. Now women can decide what happens to their own bodies. And that's totally bitchin'!
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niko73
Dem belly full but we hungry
03:02 PM on 01/20/2012
"Look for one single comment here that says 'dang it Jay-Z, I refuse to buy your records if you don't call women nasty names.'

Although that might be true for the folks commenting, unfortunately the truth is it might hurt sales. Additionally, I highly doubt Ms. Belkin or any of the commenters would buy a Jay-Z album even if he didn't use the b word. I've read the comments and most of them just hate rap. So financially speaking, he's got a lot to lose and little to gain.
02:49 PM on 01/20/2012
Wow! I've stumbled upon today's "First World Problem"!
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IslamicPacifist
Her body- Her choice- Her problem.
06:33 AM on 01/20/2012
Oh, and BTW, I LOVE the title to this article
it makes me laugh every time I see it
GO, MISTER Z!
10:55 AM on 01/20/2012
EXACTLY, but the ignorance and bigotry from those who have suddenly taken offence from JAY Z and given in their short sighted and narrow minded comments makes me laugh louder
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Badger33
I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd.
10:10 PM on 01/19/2012
I think there are some words only women should be allowed to use. He doesn't have artistic license. He's not an artist or a musician. He's a rapper--a ranting, misogynist illiterate.
02:56 AM on 01/20/2012
I think that is sexist and silly. Are there words only men are allowed to use? Women are not a minority, they are half the population and in spite of whatever derogatory lyrics that have been spouted by hip hop artist over the years black females are doing vastly better than black males.

Women need to stop this victim game. If we want respect we should focus on mutual respect instead of just trying to make women feel good.
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IslamicPacifist
Her body- Her choice- Her problem.
04:43 AM on 01/20/2012
Actually, you don't need an "artist license" (whatever that means) to practice free speech. and he has every right to use whatever word he wants to, and if he hates women (he doesn't) that's none of your business anyway. YOU don't control anyone's words or their mind
09:19 PM on 01/19/2012
he can call anyone anything he choses as long as you don't call his wife or new daughter one..
07:19 PM on 01/19/2012
Lisa: Help! Can you give me some guidance on how to find you amid all the HuffPost many verticals. Today's addition of mothers & babies worldwide has only confused me more. I loved reading you with one click at NYT.com. Now I'm as lost as I get every time I drive in New Jersey and wonder if any of your your other readers feel the same way. Please respond via my FB page or my gmail address lest I get "lost'' here again, as I surely will. ---- jane Gross
04:36 PM on 01/19/2012
People are not being honest in this discussion. These people are first and foremost entertainers. I have heard everyone from comedians to actors in movies use this language. At no point has people thought this shouldnt be used. Second songs with this type of language are meant for adults the same way movies Rated R are as well. Is anyone trying to tell me "scarface" has less affect on people than a Jay-z lyric.
Third the idea that most people stop cursing when they have kids is absurd. I guess the people posting are the few who never use the b word.
04:28 PM on 01/19/2012
its his mouth. he can say watever he wants.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
offred
A biocitizen is 3/5 of a corporate citizen
03:58 PM on 01/19/2012
Jay Zee,

Using the term "bitch" (other than its biological meaning) is demeaning to women in general. Is this the example you want to set for the young men who will some day associate with your daughter socially? Or men who may encounter your wife on the street?

"Bitch" should be reserved for the biological meaning or as an insult for an individual woman. Using it as a collective noun is easy, but not creative. I suggest you buy a thesaurus and spice up your usage.
03:00 AM on 01/20/2012
What is the impact of women being demeaned? Last I checked young women have outpaced young men but we have no campaigns to stop women from demeaning their male counterparts. All I see are women demanding a privilege for no reason other than to protect their ego's and men doing so they can look noble in front of the ladies. We can abandon the redundant gender binary and move on to real equality.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
offred
A biocitizen is 3/5 of a corporate citizen
07:44 AM on 01/20/2012
Women are still earning 80 cents for every dollar men earn. Men in positions of power are still trying to take advantage of women who work for them or provide services for them.

What "privilege" are women demanding other than to be treated with the respect they due because they are human beings first and women second?

In case you haven't heard of the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
03:17 PM on 01/19/2012
The man sells rap albums. He is arguably the most wealthy and most successful artist in the history of his genre. Jay-Z's use of the word "bitches" to describe women is crude, but so is his use of the n-word to describe the people of his own race. Why are you so offended by one word and not the other? Why weren't you writing articles denouncing Jay-Z's lyrics a week ago? a month ago? a year ago? a decade ago? Rap lyrics have always been crude and full of hate. Jay-Z is hardly the first, or the worst.

Jay-Z raps to make money. His success has given him a platform from which he COULD choose to bring about change. I would love to see him stop labeling women and black people with the words he and his counterparts have been using. Perhaps his change in stance on those issues could make a difference in the way young people who listen to his music feel about the world. It's his decision though, not ours. He fights other fights, he inspires in other ways.

And now that that's that Lets talk about the future
We have just seen the dream as predicted by Martin Luther
Now you could choose ta Sit in front of your computa
Posin' with guns Shootin YouTube up
Or you could come with me to the White House get your suit up
You stuck on being hardcore I chuck the duece up
02:46 PM on 01/19/2012
Regardless of your views concerning the use of the b word, at the end of the day the only behavior we can change is our own. Trying to shame someone into changing their behaviors, beliefs and actions only gets you so far. The only thing you can do is choose not to reward the behavior you find abhorrent and educate those in your circle about the potential consequences of the behavior. People are going to make their own choices though.

Do I find the use of the "b" word offensive? No, because the word is only powerful when I give it power. Is it a word I choose to use? No. Do I fault Jay-Z for using it? No. While I may not respect his choice, it's his right to say whatever he wants and he has no obligation to me or anyone else to start a movement against that word. Besides, speaking with my pocketbook will be far more powerful than trying to argue his change in vocabulary.
03:13 PM on 01/19/2012
Nikki,

Regarding, "the word is only powerful when I give it power." Do our daughters come to us prepared to have that tested, as they are exposed to this term and worse being thrown at them? I am silly enough to hope that my little girl does not have to defend her self image against the music floating towards her ears at any given moment. (And as an aside, my wallet does little good by not buying a gun, as I am not the audience for the gun makers. The purse has power when those who weild it decide to stop in protest. Those who don't have it out already in the arena hold little say, I believe.)
03:53 PM on 01/19/2012
I don’t disagree but I stand by my original point. We cannot force someone into changing their beliefs or behavior. The civil rights movement didn’t entice racists to drop their views. Feminism didn’t convince chauvinists to be less sexist. They produced awareness and necessary laws, but it didn’t change the underlying beliefs and behaviors that a lot of people had. Besides, rap in general, and Jay-Z’s music specifically, is hardly the only place the word is being used. Because we can’t force someone to do something, we have to think of other ways to lessen the impact. My mom taught me early on that I could only be defined by the “n” word or the “b” word if I let it define me. She never condoned either word, but thanks to her lessons, if someone is ignorant enough to use either word, it doesn’t have an effect on me.
04:30 PM on 01/19/2012
i understand what u are saying michael but nikki is right. the word bitch or any word is only powerful if u give it power. thats the weakness of words.
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jf12
Esta vez saldré como las otras y me escaparé.
02:05 PM on 01/20/2012
So, do you buy rap or other misogynistic songs?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
EdCorey1971
01:46 PM on 01/19/2012
The incessant hypocrisy radical feminism never ceases to amaze. To whom it may concern: It is impossible, unless a person is wearing blinders, for the majority to take what you say seriously if you ignore instances where women do the very things you claim to hate. You say that using the B word is demoralizing & disrespectful to girls/women and even suggest that people who use this word must hate their moms or daughters. However your silence is deafening when people ask you what do you think about women that use the B word. Not a peep from you guys when people ask you what is your position on men bashing anthems and derogatory remarks toward men. Crickets. When things like this happen, when you get all riled up, but fail to mention inequality or disrespect to the other half of the population I have never heard anyone say...surely you must hate your sons/fathers. Because surely we have all heard lyrics that describe men as dogs, scrubs, atm machines.
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IslamicPacifist
Her body- Her choice- Her problem.
04:49 AM on 01/20/2012
The first five words of this comment alone deserves a fave
now onto the rest of the comment...
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
dbrockskk
01:46 PM on 01/19/2012
It's all about what sells.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
livingbettertherapy
Counselor, Therapist, Strategic Intervention
01:21 PM on 01/19/2012
Wake up Jay-Z, words have power. The words that we listen to and accept have a great effect on our thinking patterns which affects the way that we feel and the emotions we experience. Those feelings and emotions that are produced from our thinking results in a lot of decisions that we make that are reflected in our daily behavior. That daily behavior soon becomes our routine life which builds up or damages your character. Ultimately the character that we create determines the quality of our lives and affects the lives of our loved ones and those around us. Every time a parent uses negative and harmful communication, a little man or woman is watching and learning. Children mimic their parents and the derogatory, misogynistic language that we believed is harmless ultimately educates our children to believe that emotional abuse of women is acceptable; insuring that physical abuse of women proliferates.
03:05 AM on 01/20/2012
Where do you stand on the emotional abuse of men? I think it's emotionally abusive to put place the burden of "RESPECT" solely on the man when there is no cultural pressure for women to give it in return.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
livingbettertherapy
Counselor, Therapist, Strategic Intervention
01:29 PM on 01/20/2012
The only way to have any control over one's life is to do what is right despite what others do. If the practice of respect is dependent on someone else's giving it, that other person is in control of your life. Drive your own car, write your own story.