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Lisa Belkin

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Parenting By iPad: What Are The Rules

Posted: 02/16/2012 3:51 pm

Time was when there were different rules for the many different bits of equipment that might educate or distract a child.

Way back then, the telephone was kept in a central location, so Mom and Dad could know how much time you spent gabbing with your friends. If you were lucky, it had a really long cord so you could pull it around a corner or behind a closed door.

The television was also a communal thing. Mostly entertainment, some educational value. There wasn't all that much to watch on any given night, so parents could limit use without too much push back.

A typewriter, though, was allowed anytime. Why would anyone tell a young student he or she was spending too much time on the typewriter? And encyclopedias were the same thing. Yes Junior, you may keep Volume W in your room overnight. Of course you may read it for awhile before you go to bed.

Today, a single seductive machine serves all these purposes. A computer or laptop or tablet is simultaneously our children's source of communication, procrastination, education and entertainment. What rules to make, then, for this hydra-headed tool?

If you haven't needed to answer that question already, you will any minute now. A Nielsen survey released today, titled "American Families See Tablets as Playmate, Teacher and Babysitter," found that in households that contained both children and tablet computers, seven out of ten kids under the age of 12 used the tablet -- a 9 percent increase compared with just three months earlier.

And what are these not-yet-12-year-olds using their tablets for? All the things that kids have always done but have traditionally needed to do less sleekly and more publicly. Mostly they are downloading games (77 percent do that). "Educational purposes" trails in second place (57 percent) with "entertainment while traveling" (55 percent) close behind. Forty-three percent use the tablets to "watch TV shows/movies," while 41 percent entertain themselves at restaurants and other events, and only 15 percent say they "communicate with friends and family" on the devices.

So in the not-quite-two-years since the iPad was introduced, then, we have gone from zero (percentage of parents I'd bet let their preteens play with the gadgets at first) to 70 (percentage that do now). Are you among them? If so, when the tablet is in your child's hands, do you look at it as you would a telephone? A television? A typewriter? An encyclopedia? What are the rules at your house?

 
 
 
Time was when there were different rules for the many different bits of equipment that might educate or distract a child. Way back then, the telephone was kept in a central location, so Mom and Dad ...
Time was when there were different rules for the many different bits of equipment that might educate or distract a child. Way back then, the telephone was kept in a central location, so Mom and Dad ...
 
 
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DrPriceMitchell
Developmental Psychologist-Researcher
06:05 PM on 02/22/2012
I'm supportive of kids using iPads and other devices as long as what they are doing on them is developmentally appropriate.

I'd like to think that most parents encourage educational use but obviously the recent study you site indicates mostly game use. Hope that changes in time.

An important study for parents to be aware of is how over-stimulating young children (under 2 years) with video and other media can lead to ADHD when they are older. Check out the study and accompanying video in my recent article, "Are We Over-Stimulating Young Children" at http://ow.ly/9eoQ2.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Agnt Duke
Just assume a #sarcasm tag
02:01 AM on 02/22/2012
You have access to all their online accounts, have the admin password for downloading apps, and check their SMS and Internet history with random "daddy" checks.

I have four kids, twelve apple and android devices - and zero problems, just because of those three rules.
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dijit44
03:31 PM on 02/21/2012
Just so, while making the rules, you know that heavy use of the IPAD, in particular and digital devices in general is bound to make your child dumber, in both senses of the word.
Or, at least, that is what all the evidence suggests.
The non-empirical conjectures, of course, indicate that just being able to afford an IPAD for your child means you are both genius level thinkers and communicators.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
GrownandFlown
...because parenting never ends.
06:00 PM on 02/20/2012
When one of my children was small he wanted to send a letter to the President for a school assignment so I told him to type in White House (I was in the kitchen, he in the next room) and it landed him on a pornography site. The screams of laughter from the next room sent me running. Rule number one: you, your child and the device need to be in the same room.
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bentenrai
The guy who fixes stuff everybody's given up on.
03:49 PM on 02/20/2012
In my house it is very simple and straightforward. You obey the rules and show that you can be trusted and responsible, you get more liberties. You abuse the liberties accorded to you, they are taken away.
12:42 PM on 02/20/2012
My daughter loves my iPad (and smart phone) but I also limit its use to only 3-5 minutes at a time. She's only 18 months so I'd prefer if she didn't use any media but since I'm on my computer fairly often, she wants to copy mommy. So, a bit of ABC or e-books won't hurt.

I try to engage her with real life activities as much as I put her in front of a media screen. I think exposing kids to media early is great as long as there is a lot of parental involvment.
10:06 PM on 02/18/2012
and in other news... Booth babes aren't kids... (everyone else caught the Galaxy Tab 10.1, a widescreen job)
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03:08 PM on 02/18/2012
My 2.5 year old loves my iPad. I treat his time on it like other screen time (computer, tv), limited as I need to when I need to get chores done, get through check out line at grocery store, cook dinner or just need to regain my sanity. He loves the Build a train, monster at the end of the book apps, as well as some flash card apps. He has a hard time putting it down, so I try hard to keep it out of sight and let him only use it when I need an electronic sitter. I believe that kids learn from people, so while a tablet, tv or computer may have educational shows, games and apps, I personally don't consider his time on it as education.
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elicourey
It takes a nation of millions to hold me back!
01:16 PM on 02/18/2012
Lisa Belkin, the image used for your article shows Samsung Galaxy Tabs, not iPads.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
08:44 AM on 02/18/2012
Since apparently I'm being silenced for speech that can only possibly be offensive to the ego of the author, I'll just continue to repeat myself.

Please learn the difference between the two major tablet computer manufacturers before writing an article on the tech page.

Seriously, the "journalist" here is a complete joke. This is the same that wrote the article about how we should ban the word "Wife" from the English language. Please go to the "Contact Us" section and express your distaste. As mere readers this is all we can do, but considering the size and popularity of this site, we deserve better than this drivel.
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valar84
04:43 PM on 02/17/2012
The stock image used for this article's link isn't the iPad, it's obviously the Samsung Galaxy tab. The name can even be partially seen behind the girls holding the tablet.
05:00 PM on 02/17/2012
shhhhh.... it's the new journalism, they're turning into Fox
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BillClay
06:02 PM on 02/17/2012
A better article title would have been "Parenting By Tablet".
11:45 AM on 02/18/2012
There are no other tablets according to HuffPo. Ever notice all their mobile tech articles start with either Apple, iPad or iPhone? Even when it may be an article completely about Samsung, it starts as "Apple competitor"...
03:11 PM on 02/17/2012
Just so you know, the picture you have matched up with this article is of the Samsung Galaxy Tab, not the iPad. Considering the lawsuits surrounding the two companies, it's a pretty big difference.
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Agnt Duke
Just assume a #sarcasm tag
02:03 AM on 02/22/2012
Well, that's what the whole lawsuit was/is about, so it was probably an honest mistake on her part =).
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Djjeffe
02:58 PM on 02/17/2012
Well the headline photo shows two girls holding GALAXY TABS! LOL!
02:20 PM on 02/17/2012
Everything in moderation. For my generation it was listening to our walkmans and playing Atari. I have an IPad - love it! I let my daughter use it for 10minutes AFTER she:
1. Eats Breakfast
2. Gets dressed
3. Brushes her teeth

What's the Rule? In life you get your reward AFTER you complete your tasks. (Work then paycheck!)
www.GoodParentGoodChild.com
07:21 PM on 02/17/2012
We called them Have-To's and Want-To's. Annoying, but the shorthand helped get to the point. I would ask, "Is this a have-to or a want-to?". It worked for years.
04:03 PM on 02/20/2012
First...then. The "tools" are not the problem; the lack of good rules and enforceable boundaries are. Parents are going to stop the forward movement technology; they can set limits for their children's use of it.
01:55 PM on 02/17/2012
We have an iPad.

Rules:

1. Its communal. You have to share it. Benefit #1: you must learn to take turns. Fail to do so and it goes away. Benefit #2: If its a semi-ediucational game (like the spelling ones), your younger sibling is learning while watching you. You have to help him when its his turn.

2. You may not download anything.

3. Sometimes you have to try out a new thing on it. You can't play the same thing again and again and again.

4. Sometimes it goes away. Its just not iPad time.

In our home, this device replaces a lot of others. We do not have a game system. I prefer the tablet, because when its out of sight, its out of mind. We have Netflix and Apple TV, but only basic cable. There is not constant streaming of annoying noise from a talking box in our house. If the TV comes on, it comes on after discussion and compromise.

IMO, its not technology itself that's the problem. Its (1) content -- there is a lot of lousy content out there, and (2) isolationism: is the device used in isolation to such an extent that it impairs the development of other skills (i.e., getting along with your sibling, getting exercise).

Frankly, I think my kids have it better than I did. I have every episode of The Smurfs and Family Ties memorized. Ugh. What I could have done with those lost brain cells!