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Lisa Belkin

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Mom Bloggers, A Force To Be Reckoned With

Posted: 10/31/2011 12:00 pm

Mom bloggers, you've got clout. (And probably Klout -- though with the recent revamp of that system it's hard to tell who has what over there any more.)

A study released this weekend shows that while only 14 percent of American mothers have a blog (and you thought it was everyone you knew?) those who do are more politically aware, socially involved and, might I add, better educated, than the average woman with children (52 percent have a college degree compared with 37 of mothers nationwide.) They are wealthier too (with an average household income of $84,000 which is $14,000 higher than the national average.)

(A side rant here. If Mom bloggers are so smart, why does the press release from Scarborough Research, which conducted this survey, fall back onto that old -- offensive -- riff on how they are somehow ignoring their kids in order to feed their egos online. "Did your mom ever send you to your room?" it begins. "Was it so that she could have some time to blog?" Didn't the New York Times Style section learn that hard lesson for everyone when it was excoriated by mothers who blog after running a piece titled "Honey, Don't Bother Mommy. I'm Too Busy Building My Brand." And I like to think I played a tiny role in making it clear that these are creative, savvy, business women redefining modern parenting when I wrote a New York Times Magazine piece about the leading practitioners here. Okay. I got that out of my system. Back to the data.)

Of course what interested these marketing researchers was the spending habits of this niche, and the conclusion was that Mom bloggers are willing to put their money where their values are. They are 69% more likely to buy organic food on a regular basis, 46% more likely to purchase locally grown food, and 49% more likely than all mothers to buy eco-friendly cleaning products (and 89 percent more likely to pay more for them.)

There were nuggets in the report for those marketing political candidates, too. To wit: "Mom Bloggers" say they "always" vote in presidential elections (76 percent) and statewide contests (45 percent) and they identify as Democrat (29 percent), Republican (25 percent) and indpendet (29 percent) in almost equal shares. They are twice as likely to have donated to a political organization over the past year, 85 percent more likely to base their support on a candidate's views on the environment, and 39 percent more likely to have volunteered in a campaign or social cause.

What interests me about the data, though, since I am not a marketer but rather a personal and professional consumer of blogs by parents, is the role these sites have come to play in modern parenting. That was not among the data in this particular study, so let's use the comments to start accumulating our own.

Certainly few of us raise our children based solely on conversations or information found online. But I do believe that these play an increasing role in our thoughts and choices. What I find most compelling as I wander around them each day is twofold. First, each of us only knows the intimate workings of one or two households -- specifically the ones in which we have lived. So, the way other people do things is essentially a mystery. We catch glimpses, but they are only that.

Blogs, however, offer an open window, and sometimes a door. We get to see how others handle the dilemmas of parenting, and, in years of covering parenting in an electronic world, I have seen many a time when a parent's mind was changed by the virtual conversation. I remember posting an email from one reader asking how to properly punish her 13-year-old for her messy room and pouty moods. Hundreds of readers gently but insistently told her to choose her battles, and that perhaps it was better for the long game to just close her daughter's bedroom door. She wrote back to say she had taken the advice, and that her relationship with her tween was transformed, and that she was relieved to have a place to ask things she would never share face to face for fear of being judged.

And that is the second power of these virtual conversations. They allow honesty through anonymity.

Parents need to talk. But they can't always talk completely truthfully. In part that is because of the cycle of posturing we all seem to inhabit, where we can't admit we are struggling because no one else seems to be. Mostly, though, I think there are things we don't discuss openly because it is not our privacy we would be breaching, but our children's. Their struggles, and setbacks and weaknesses cause us pain, but to share them would be to tell their secrets.

Either way, the result is often the feeling that we are the only ones navigate any particular rocky route. Until we go online. On thousands of sites we get to open up about things we can't quite say out loud, and hear back from far more people than could ever fit in our actual circle.

Which blogs play this role in your life? What bloggers do you read regularly, and what do you take away from your visits?

PLUS: Where Are The Mom Bloggers?
Click through the slideshow below to see the the top 6 cities for moms who have read or contributed to blogs in the past 30 days. (Source: Scarborough USA+)


 

 
 
 
Mom bloggers, you've got clout. (And probably Klout -- though with the recent revamp of that system it's hard to tell who has what over there any more.) A study released this weekend shows that whi...
Mom bloggers, you've got clout. (And probably Klout -- though with the recent revamp of that system it's hard to tell who has what over there any more.) A study released this weekend shows that whi...
 
 
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12:53 AM on 11/08/2011
I am a mom and a blogger (29 TLDs all wp blogs and 5 blogspot blogs). I only have 1 blog about parenting and I have just started. While there are writing deadlines to be able to add to the family's income, being at home makes it easier to give attention to my kids (as opposed to working out of the house). They get to learn to write too! I see that blogging has made the life of a mom easier in a sense more opportunities to earn come up without having to leave home.
One of my blogs is at http://lifeisachoice.com

-c5-
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D. A. Wolf
Founder, Daily Plate of Crazy
09:17 PM on 11/05/2011
Interesting discussion on terminology, as well as the role blogs play in the life of parents.

As a writer who blogs, and a writer who has been a largely solo parent for 10 years, a significant amount of what I write online references my sons directly or indirectly. That said, there is much to read relative to babies and young children, and relatively little (in my experience) on teenagers, at least, little that I found real, relevant, and well written.

Personally, I think more discussion on teenagers would be of interest. It's tough territory to navigate - with or without another parent in the picture.

I believe the aspects of community in blogging are not to be underestimated. Whether you're speaking of a community of married parents, single parents, older parents, parents with special challenges - or any other group with common interests and concerns - feeling as though you have somewhere to "go" for discussion is extremely helpful.

http://dailyplateofcrazy.com/category/parenting/
10:23 PM on 11/04/2011
I blog (http://touteslesbonneschoses.blogspot.com) simply because I write as a way to process life. I also have a research habit and tend to think too much about things and the people in my life don't necessarily want to hear about all these things (or as I learned the hard way in the case of my in-laws, they find it offensive because it challenges the way they did/do things). I also contribute to a parenting blog (http://www.theconnectedmom.com/)simply because I need the deadline to keep myself engaged. I'm a better parent finding something to nurture me outside of my family (I too fit the description pretty much spot on). Though with the birth of my second child 4 months ago I do have to wonder how parent bloggers manage it all. I used to get up at ridiculous hours of the morning to write, but now with a newborn I haven't managed to pull that off with her nursing habits. (It gets easier, right? Please tell me it gets easier!)
12:54 AM on 11/04/2011
I started blogging because in my "real life" and in the mainstream media, I don't always find people who can relate to my experiences and issues as an Asian woman in a mixed-race marriage. But I had things I needed to express, and I know there are many people out there who can relate.

It seems like mothers often become bloggers when they feel their voices are marginalized. And when you feel like you're not totally mainstream for whatever reason, you become more aware of trying to change things.
09:48 AM on 11/03/2011
Hi! It's funny how studies like to group individuals. In your article you wrote it was to find the spending habits of Mom bloggers and they grouped them as organic food buyers, eco-friendly product users, and political campaign donators, to name a few.

I am a Mom Blogger and I am none of the above.

I am also someone who doesn't feel like the category of Mom blogger gives the whole picture. Yes, I am a mother who blogs, but I am also an Asian American blogger, wife blogger, ex-corporate worker blogger, positive blogging blogger, illustration blogger, etc.

At the end though I will take the Mom Blogger title if it helps others to read my blog!

http://www.ichoosehappynow.com

Thanks for sharing!

Cheers,
Louise
09:38 AM on 11/03/2011
Last week, when I was having an issue with my toddler, I went not to my mom but to my blog. I asked my readers what to do, and had good advice (and many, many calming words) within hours. That, to me, is what blogging is all about. The community. The willingness to help. I'd be lost without it.
12:41 AM on 11/03/2011
I read and I write mommy blogs but I find my biggest contribution is with comments to stressed out parents. As our core family spreads across the earth, technology brings us close to like-minded woman who at their best provide encouragement to each other.
09:36 PM on 11/02/2011
Great cities represented here! Bloggers are cool.
07:23 PM on 11/02/2011
I was a blogger before I was a parent (though, oddly, I read a lot of parenting blogs even back then), but once I had my own little bundle of joy, my blog became a way to connect with other parents, see other viewpoints, and explore other ways of thinking. Parenting can be isolating, and frustrating, and it seemed better to have the conversations going on in my head on my blog rather than in my managers office, or the company kitchen...or to my mom. I don't blog solely about parenting, but it's nice...no, it's CRUCIAL to have an outlet to sometimes say "hey, does this happen to anyone else? Because I'm feeling like I'm flapping in the wind over here."

I don't make money on my blog, except the super rare occasion, but I don't care if others do. As long as there's community, personality and something to connect with, that's what I'm looking for.
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05:16 PM on 11/02/2011
Fantastic. I don't blog, though maybe I should because I fall in so many of the categories.

After the birth of my first child, I felt a lack of support from the real people in my life, so I turned to books and articles written by "experts," only to find most of them we're very black and white and didn't offer any advicd when their initial suggestions didn't work. By the time I got pregnant with my second child I discovered the blogging world, and it is just a fantastic resource. Real people sharing solutions to real problems.
02:56 PM on 11/02/2011
I blog because it's a way to process the incredibly muddled terrain of new parenthood; it's cathartic. I don't make any money from it (though I would be open to that idea), and I work full-time outside my home. Blogging is a hobby, and a way to connect with other parents in an otherwise formidably busy life balancing family and work. And I agree with you Lisa, there is a level of honesty and vulnerability that comes with this medium that stems some of the isolation parents often feel, it reminds us that no, we are not the only ones to have ever gone through X particular issue and yes, there is a wealth of both humor and wisdom to be found in sharing our experiences with others. In a culture that has given up so much community in recent decades, blogging is a way to reclaim some lost territory. God knows that we could all use a little more of that. My blog can be found at http://shouldbethebeginning.com
01:34 PM on 11/02/2011
I see myself reflected in many of those statistics, though I don't make any money through blogging. For me, blogging it has become a lifeline, a priceless way of connecting. I have a daughter who was a micropreemie, born after we lost her identical twin. She was in the hospital for five months and still faces many challenges. You just don't meet very many people in normal walks of life who can understand everything that this experience entails. Yet, online, there are others. Blogging creates a niche, which is significantly better than being all alone.
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Karen Latimer
12:33 PM on 11/02/2011
Hope, great question. What makes someone a "blogger" vs. a provider of content? I write an easy to read, light medical website. I occasionally mention my kids, but like you, only in context. I happen to resent the word "Mommy" used to describe me by anyone but my five kids. It isn't an adjective. "Mommy blogger" is a cute term, I suppose, but I have to wonder why so much of what women - who also happen to be mothers - do or say is infantilized by its attached lingo?
11:07 AM on 11/02/2011
So here's the thing, I am a mom who blogs, but I don't blog about my children primarily. That is, my blog isn't a parenting blog. I do mention parenting dilemmas from time to time, but only as they relate to my blog's topic.

I do fit the demographics you mention in this article, though.

So am I a mommy blogger?
12:13 PM on 11/02/2011
That is a great question. It's the same one I have whenever I see the term "Mommy-blogger." I'm a mom who blogs. And a wife who blogs. And a rabbi who blogs. I just don't define myself that way.
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Lisa Belkin
Life/Work/Family/Coffee
12:23 PM on 11/02/2011
First, let's retire the term "Mommy Blogger." It's trivializing. I use Mom Bloggers when I need something snappy-ish, and Parenting Bloggers when I want to be most accurate. And when I use those I mean bloggers who write about parenting.

But obviously that is not all that parents who blog write about. So while I am particularly interested in the effect that Parenting Bloggers have on parenting, and on each other, there is the concurrent question of the role that blogging serves in the lives of bloggers who just happen to be parents. I think that parenting -- particularly in the early months and years -- can be isolating. And blogging can be a way to connect with people, which is, by definition, an antidote to isolation. That, by my read, is the what this survey was measuring: the effects of online community on parents who create it and participate in it.
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MKWewer
09:47 AM on 11/02/2011
You know why I blog? Because I lost twin boys at 22 weeks and no one in the "real world" wanted to talk to me. It was hush-hush. No one talks about miscarriages and stillbirths and the hell that those of us who have lost children go through until we finally get our wish and having a living baby. We have a few close friends who hold our hands while the rest of the world pretends our loss didn't happen. In the bloggy world, I'm allowed to call myself a "lost baby mama" and no one looks away or cringes...Blogging about my loss has made me a better parent to my subsequent child and for that, I'm grateful.
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Lisa Belkin
Life/Work/Family/Coffee
12:26 PM on 11/02/2011
I always marvel how "technology" -- such a cold, unyielding thing on the face of it -- can bring such warmth and comfort sometimes.
Thanks for sharing this, MK. How old is your child? When did you lose your boys?
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MKWewer
12:13 PM on 11/04/2011
It is a wonder, isn't it? I found myself writing about the worst thing to ever happen to me and I was comforted by total strangers. It was not without consequences though. My husband and I did have fights over the things I wrote about publicly.

My daughter is 10 months old. I lost Joshua and Owen in April of 2008.