05/27/2010 12:07 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

BP Clean-Up: A Woman's Solution

As I am rushing out on a business trip Sunday evening, May 23, my twelve year old daughter, Tess, shoves a permission slip in front of me, "They're having a hair-dresser come into the school on Wednesday, Mom. I need permission for them to cut my hair."

She doesn't attend a trade school. She's in the sixth grade! In fact, her school is one of the most environmentally progressive schools in CA (winning awards for such), certainly not embracing "vanity" topics like hair-dos. I question further.

"They're collecting our hair," continues Tess.

Hmm, I think to myself. Could it be for wigs for cancer survivors? That would be in line with the school's ethos. Tess goes on, "We're going to donate it to clog up the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico."

Wow. I have so many mixed emotions. BP's high tech deep-sea endeavors, a likened to the technological equivalent of putting a man on the moon, have degenerated in their proposed remedies from the steel cone capture, to the dish detergent dean up, to the hair-mushroom mat soak up, including now severing the goldi-locks of trusting sixth graders. Perhaps off-shore drilling should be banned until corporations can demonstrate how they would clean up their mess, just as any sixth grader has mastered in their elementary education.

And, speaking of common understanding, every twelve-year old adolescent girl -- in fact every woman -- knows what it takes to "clog up a pipe." Why don't we ask them all to donate a tampon!