Myth 1. The love of your life has to be your best friend.
Let's get this straight right now. A man is not going to be your best friend. If he's emotionally healthy, he is happy to be your greatest protector and he will willingly fix anything for you when he can. But he's not going to get involved in long conversations about things he has no interest in.
When you start telling an involved complicated story about your friends and their families, a man can't keep track of the point you are trying to make. Unless it's about you and taking care of you, his eyes will glaze after about five minutes.
This is why it's so important to have girlfriends who will happily process any story with you over a good martini or a glass of wine.
Myth 2. You'll just know he's "the one" when you meet him.
I hate to burst your bubble, but this rarely happens.
Yes, you'll hear stories shared by women who have said they just knew when they met their husband that he was the one. What you don't hear are all the stories about women who thought they'd found the one but it turns out they hadn't.
Thanks to Hollywood, it's easy for you to get caught up in the fantasy and romance part of dating; the eyes meeting across a crowded room scenarios. Yet the core of attraction between a man and a woman is actually nothing more than a chemical reaction the two of you share in each other's presence.
Men must feel an attraction to you immediately but you don't have to feel an immediate attraction to him. Women have the ability to feel attraction over time once they get to know a man's personality and behaviors.
This is why it's important to give nice men a chance. You could be overlooking one of the good ones because you didn't feel that initial attraction.
Myth 3. You're his girlfriend after three dates.
The way you know you're a man's girlfriend is from the way he introduces you to his friends. If he says, "This is my friend, Julie." Guess what? That's exactly who you are in his mind.
On the other hand, if he says, "This is my girlfriend, Julie," then you know this is how he views you.
Always carefully listen to a man's words because men are very good at saying exactly what they mean.
Myth 4. Men love the makeovers you give them.
I speak with a lot of men and one of their biggest pet peeves is how women are always trying to change them, whether it's the clothes they wear, the food they eat or how they do their job.
One of the best things about emotionally healthy men is they love you exactly for who you are. They won't try and change you, so don't try and change them.
If you don't like who a man is then let him go and move on to a man you do like. Some men will let you redress them over time. Just don't try and do it on the first or the fifth date.
Myth 5. He loves when you define what you want him to do for you in your online profile.
Men are always amazed at the demands women put in their profiles about the money their man must make or the places he has to take you to get a date with you.
This is a huge turn off to men, just like it would be for you if you saw demands about women's weight or hairstyle in a man's profile. Men don't like being told what to do by the women they know, much less by women they have never met.
Leave your demands out of your profile and instead write a profile that makes you seem like a fun woman to get to know.
I'd love to hear what you think of these myths in the comments. Do you disagree with any of them? Are there other myths in mature dating?
Lisa Copeland is the Dating Coach who makes dating over 50 fun and easy. Find out more about Lisa at www.FindAQualityMan.com.
Sometimes it feels like the foundation of your social life is so strong that you no longer find the opportunity to meet new and exciting people. Throw a barbecue or party in which guests bring a friend that no one in the group knows. Alternatively, tag along with a friend the next time their office has a company picnic or function -- this is a great way to meet somebody who you know is responsible enough to hold down a career and who you can 'check out' with an acquainted friend before you agree to a date.
There's no longer a stigma about a woman learning to golf or a man taking a Pilates class, though such activities are still gender lopsided enough one way or the other to open up the dating options for the minority sex. In time you'll be able to go to a local public course and complete someone else's foursome, or cap off an exercise class by going for coffee with some of your fellow students -- both of which will give you the opportunity to meet a host of new people (most likely of the opposite sex). Just make sure you're doing something you want to do -- it would be a shame to begin a relationship under false pretenses.
Organizations such as "Habitat For Humanity" allow you to come into contact with people of all ages and from all walks of life, all of whom have strong, respectable values. And it's not just a great chance to meet a prospective date -- volunteering attracts interesting, good-natured people who themselves are excited to meet new faces and make friends.
Book clubs are great places to meet well-read, like-minded adults -- you can usually find one by calling your local library. Similarly, wine clubs, outdoors clubs and gardening clubs are good options as well depending on your interests. Joining a club allows you to grow as an individual and sets up the opportunity for you to meet someone who shares a common interest.
Singles over 50 are flocking to the online dating world more than any other demographic. It would be a shame to let 20th century prejudices about online dating spoil the opportunities that could await you with a membership. The perception that dating sites attract eccentrics or shut-ins is a dying one, but if you need convincing, just see for yourself the array of adults turning to sites like "Match" and "eHarmony" to help them begin meaningful relationships with interesting people. Here are the top five most popular dating sites for Post50s.
Follow Lisa Copeland on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Over50DateCoach