Several years ago, a movie called The Secret came to the big screen. There were actually two very different versions produced of this movie.
The first version, worth getting your hands on if you can find it, featured a wonderful woman named Esther Hicks. Her presence and channeling of a being named Abraham made the original version of The Secret quite spiritual.
When the producers and Esther couldn't agree on a business philosophy, Esther was edited out leaving a movie with the message...if you think long and hard enough about what you want, it will come your way.
People started furiously trying to think their way into manifesting homes, cars and the man or woman of their dreams.
And what happened is a lot of people became frustrated and disillusioned with the whole premise of the Law of Attraction because what they wanted wasn't showing up for them.
The Law of Attraction can only work when your vibration matches what you desire.
You may want a man in your life with all your heart... Yet deep inside you may be afraid of getting hurt again. This creates a tug of war inside you and the message you are sending out to the Universe becomes unclear so it can't be answered.
I wish I could tell you there was a magic bullet out there that could bring Mr. Right to your doorstep today. I wish I could say, "Just think about him and he'll show up."
It doesn't quite work that way. However, there are real dating tools you can use along with the Law of Attraction that can help you manifest the love you want in your life.
That is, if you're willing to do a simple mind shift to move your vibration into alignment with what you want. These three mind shifting practices are a great way to get started.
Where Are All The Good Men?
When you think about men and dating, do you think... there's just no one out there to date or the good ones are all taken?
When you're browsing an online dating site, do you think... wow, there are a lot of great guys on here for me who could make a great friend, boyfriend, partner or husband?
The Universe hears what you focus on, not what you think you want. What you put your mind on becomes your reality and your reality is always based on how you view the world.
Do you ever wonder why some women are dating a different guy every night and having fun being around male energy, while other women are suffering from a drought when it comes to men? It's likely the women in the first category view online dating sites like a kid in a candy store who is so excited by all the abundance to choose from.
There are lots of great men out there to date even as a woman over 50. Statistics show that one out of four marriages over 50 ends in divorce. That means new men entering the dating pool every day.
Yes, there are good guys and maybe some not so great guys out there but when you only view the world from a place of lack, you won't be able to spot the diamond in the rough who could be right in front of you in life or on your computer screen.
If you want Mr. Right to show up, shift your mindset to one of abundance today by viewing the world as a place filled with lots of great men to date.
The Why, What and How
One of the benefits of dating to date (not to mate) is you get to be around male energy and experience what you do and don't want when it comes to being with a man.
What's still missing is why you want a man in your life and why you want him to have certain qualities to date you.
Getting clear on the why sends a vision of what you want to the Universe.
Here's an exercise that can help you with manifesting a man into your life.
Do this exercise when you are in a positive mindset about dating and the abundance of men who are out there to date.
On a sheet of paper write at the top: These are the qualities I desire in a man.
For example, you might write:
I want a man who loves and cherishes me
I want a man who emotionally supports me
Next write why:
I want a man who loves and cherishes me...
...because I love feeling adored by men
...because I love when a man shows me how much he cares about me
I want a man who emotionally supports me...
...because when I'm happy, I want a man who is there to share my joy or happiness
...because I want to know someone has my back
This will really help you get clear on why you want a certain type of man in your life. You may find what was important no longer is. Don't judge what you write. Just allow it to come to you.
Come back to this exercise as you're around male energy and refine what it is you do and don't want when it comes to a man and why.
The what and why is what you put out into the Universe. One last note here -- let go of the how and the where he'll appear. Just keep an open mind so you can see him when he shows up.
Envisioning Him And Your Life
In my 40s I took a class based on The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. One of my favorite exercises was doing a visioning board.
The instructor gave us magazines and told us to write in the corner "My 5 Year Vision."
Next we took about 45 minutes browsing through magazines, tearing out pictures and phrases that resonated with our themes.
I didn't always understand the significance of the picture but if it resonated with me, I used it. Next we glued everything onto poster board and wrote on the back, "Whatever is contained in this collage IS!"
Imagine my surprise when years later, I went back to the board and discovered how much had come true. And what didn't make sense when I created it sure did in that moment.
Do a 1, 3 or 5 year Vision Board for your life. Have fun and let your inner child just play and get excited about the possibilities while looking at the pictures.
When you're done, you can put the board where you can see it everyday or you can shove it in a closet and come back to it from time to time. Either way works for sending the Universe the message of what you truly desire in your life.
Lisa Copeland is the Dating Coach who makes over 50's dating fun and easy. Download your free report, "The 5 Little Known Secrets For Finding A Quality Man," at www.FindAQualityMan.com.
On Instagram (iPhone and Android, free), users take photos from their daily lives and have the option to apply a variety of filters to enhance or touch-up their images. Users then have the ability to share their images on various social network sites as well as Instagram's own social network. Users also have the ability to "like" other users' photos and share with their own friends. BEST FOR: The application is best for those wanting to share the daily images of their lives. As Instagram has grown in popularity, many users can share their photos on multiple social networks. It's a great way to share your latest craft project or vacation adventures with your family and friends. TIPS & TRICKS: Photos from Instagram don't have to stay in the online realm. Users now have the ability to easily turn their filtered photos into actual photos on canvas using CanvasPop or even into desk calendars with the app Calendargram (iPhone, free), which would make great gifts for all of your loved ones.
Google+ is a social networking site that encompasses a variety of features, including Google Hangouts, an online spot that facilitates group chat and the "+1 button" that allows users to show your personal endorsement of an informative article or an interesting item. Google+ allows you to categorize your contacts into a variety of groups called circles. With circles, you can choose what groups can see what you post and what you share. If you want to talk about a family get-together, you can share it with your friends and family circle, but not your professional colleagues. BEST FOR: Google+ is ideal for those who want to share content-rich information. It has features for sharing personal documents and photos, articles and can connect users via text chat and video chat. The social media network also has over 40 games where you can connect with friends and share your scores with your different circles. TIPS & TRICKS: Google Docs has recently been integrated into Hangouts, the video chat feature of Google+. Now users can pull up their documents while using the video chat feature and you can even share your screen to make for a productive and basically face-to-face conference.
Pinterest is a virtual pin board where users can "pin" images on a variety of topics, such as home décor, recipes, and apparel. Pinterest users then create boards to house the images, so users may have one specific to anniversary planning, birthday parties, favorite recipes or quotes, for example. The cyber-version of "vision-boards," users have the opportunity to browse and share images. BEST FOR: If you're constantly surfing the web to collect ideas, it can be difficult to remember every site you visited or how to keep up with all of your bookmarks. With Pinterest, the "pinning" can be added to your internet browser easily and you can start collecting all of your favorite images. TIPS & TRICKS: Need some quick gift ideas for your grandchild's first birthday party or your son's promotion and not sure what you're looking for? Pinterest has segmented categories for price ranges in their gift section and you can quickly click on the image to take you to the product information and you can order right from your mobile device or computer.
Twitter is an online, micro-blogging social network channel that allows users to share and read posts up to 140 characters. Users can follow friends, celebrities, news distributors, companies and other organizations to keep up with daily news, the "it" celebrity or the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. BEST FOR: Twitter is a great way to quickly receive news and catch updates from your friends, family, favorite sports team or news outlet. You can create different lists to separate your personal friends from the entertainment world from breaking international news. TIPS & TRICKS: To help you create lists, Twitter has a suggestions feature that provides categories such as music, fashion, technology and government. With these suggestions, you can have a complete list to keep you up-to-date on these areas. Also remember, watch what you tweet, especially if your information is public. News and broadcast networks could feature you on their show if you interact with them online.
With "more than 10 billion visits per month and the Facebook user hitting the site an average of 68.7 times every month," according to The Financial Brand, most people are familiar with the social networking site. A recent study from AARP amongst people age 50+ showed that 23% of those surveyed either used or frequently visited Facebook, which was by far the most popular social network amongst their age group. One thing to keep in mind is that Facebook has seen changes recently with Timeline, meaning users need to familiarize themselves with the different privacy policies that accompany the modifications. BEST FOR: To best use Facebook, remember to keep in mind what you want to share. Check your privacy settings and if you need help, remember that Geek Squad is available 24/7 online at geeksquad.com to help you navigate the changes. TIPS & TRICKS: Did you know you can now use Facebook to connect you and your friends through text message? If your Wi-Fi or internet connectivity is off, you can still contact your friends and family via Facebook. You can turn on text messaging so your contacts can use Facebook Messages to send you texts. Also, once you have activated text messaging through your Facebook account you can send a text to 32665 (FBOOK) and in the message, write msg and the name of the person you'd like to Facebook message and it will send to their inbox! For example: msg Joe Smith How are you?
LinkedIn is a social networking tool focused on professional networking and building business relationships. The tool can be used to network and has informational tabs that compile your personal industry's top news for the day for quick reference. BEST FOR: LinkedIn can be used to connect professionally and also as a supplement to the traditional resume and business card. You have the ability to expand and personalize your descriptions and skills that you sometimes leave off in hard copies. You even have the option of adding a video onto your LinkedIn profile to give you an extra boost in impressions. TIPS & TRICKS: Frequently check your LinkedIn to see what your contacts and colleagues are up to. It's a great way to stay connected professionally.
Watch who you "Friend" and "Follow." On many social media sites, people can request to follow or friend you. If you're not comfortable with strangers having access to your social media information, depending on the social media tool, you could have the option to allow them access to pre-approved sections of your profile. Privatize your profile. Geek Squad can show you how to take advantage of the privacy settings offered by social media sites. By marking your page as private, people have to request you as a friend or ask for your approval in order to "follow" you on Twitter or view your complete Facebook profile. Social media websites generally undergo changes a few times every year, and most of those facelifts affect privacy settings in some way - though users may not be directly alerted of those specific changes. If you notice changes on social-networking site homepages, it's a good idea to revisit your privacy settings, perform a quick internet search to learn more or ask a Geek Squad Agent to give you the scoop.
Beware of your posts! Always remember that any content you post on the internet will be there forever, for anyone to read, store and republish. Remember that this information is stored somewhere, likely in multiple places. Avoid sharing personal information. License plate numbers, house numbers or other addresses as well as specific names of schools, workplaces or towns should be not shared on the internet. Information can be used like pieces in a puzzle to paint a bigger picture of you. Always take a second look. Just because the screen says your friend John has sent you information doesn't mean John is actually the person who did. Scams often run rampant on social media sites, so beware of any unusual messages. For example, hackers disguise messages to your contacts claiming to need money after being robbed or having lost money in a foreign country. Trust your gut. If it doesn't "seem right" it probably isn't. Things free or too good to be true are just that. Social networking sites have been a breeding ground for fake antivirus software ads, so avoid any type of free antivirus offers.
Follow Lisa Copeland on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Over50DateCoach