THE BLOG
07/29/2014 07:53 am ET | Updated Sep 28, 2014

Is He Into You? Or Isn't He? 5 Ways To Know For Sure

Do you ever wonder whether or not a man you're dating is really into you? It seems like this should be obvious but sometimes it isn't. The lines can feel blurry, especially when you really like a man who seems perfect for you.

You let red flag behaviors slide because he gives you mixed signals, making you feel cared about one day and not cared about the next. You're not quite sure but you hope that as he gets to know you, he'll change.

I know how frustrating this can feel because you like him but going along with his incongruous behavior gives him all the power. And this is why I want to share five identifiable behaviors not worth tolerating in any man.


#1. He disappears and comes back with no good explanation.

You have three great dates with a man who seems to have all the qualities on your must have list. You laugh a lot, conversation comes easily and you're beginning to like this guy, thinking he just might be the one.

Then he disappears, showing up again six months later, texting you that he has missed both you and your kisses but can't seem to explain why he went AWOL.

If he was into you...he would have texted you during his hiatus. After all, there is a popular gadget called a smart phone that can text and dial quite well from anywhere in the world.

A man would never tolerate this type of behavior from a woman and neither should you unless he tells you want happened in those six months... exactly why he went AWOL and why he's back.

#2. He texts to ask you out for a date only when he wants to go out.

This is thoughtless and it's a sign of laziness or a fear of rejection. He needs to man up and call you for a date. Texting is impersonal and keeps you at arm's distance. A man who is into you wants to hear your voice and connect with you on a regular basis.

#3. He's always working or with his grandchildren.

If you have grandchildren, you know what a blessing they can be but there is a life beyond them and if a man wants a relationship with you, he'll do what it takes to create the space and the balance in his life so he can see you. If he doesn't, he's not into you.

#4. He introduces you to people as his friend.

If a man is into you, he wants the world to know it. He's proud to have you on his arm and he'll excitedly introduce you as this great girl he's just met or if you've dated a while as his girlfriend. If he introduces you as a friend, you're his friend and that's not likely to change. He's not into you.

#5. He always wants the date to happen at your place or he wants you to come to his place instead of going out.

This is a recipe for a booty call. The man is physically attracted to you and can literally charm the pants off of you. He'll say words that lead you to believe he's into you. He likes you but his mission is to get you into bed and that's why he'll always suggest intimate dinners at your place or his.

When he's feeling the physical need again, he'll be back for more. The problem is...when a woman has sex with a man, oxytocin is released and she will stay bonded with him for up to 3 weeks. Sex doesn't bond him to you. You have the potential to get hurt from this type of relationship because he's not into you in the same way you're into him.

A man who is into you wants to make you happy and will do everything he can to make you feel love, cherished and adored. You'll never have to guess with him.

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences about men who weren't into you and how it felt.

Lisa Copeland is the Dating Coach who makes over 50's dating fun and easy. Find out more about dating deal breakers and must haves at www.FindAQualityMan.com.

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