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4 Quick Ways To Instantly Boost Your Dating Confidence

05/13/2015 06:56 am ET | Updated May 13, 2016

Before being single, if you were like me, you probably didn't give much thought to how men saw you.

It really didn't matter.

You had your man and at least in the beginning he adored you just the way you were, whether in sweats or in a little black dress.

When I was married, I can remember doing what I called Casual Sundays.

This meant on Sundays it was okay to go out in public with no makeup wearing a bit of a stylized sweat pant outfit.

I did it because my husband didn't mind. He loved me for me ... stylized sweats and all.

But once I was out there dating, I realized I couldn't meet men in my sweats or my outdated, comfortable clothing.

I found that making a couple of quick and easy changes ... took me from feeling kind of dowdy and outdated to feeling chic, confident and pretty spectacular.

It can do this for you too!

See it as an investment in yourself and your dating life.

So where do you start?

Let's talk about four quick and easy steps that will give you the confidence boost you need to feel great while you're out there dating and meeting new men.

Tip #1... Find Your Allies

Have you ever noticed that you can't always see the parts of yourself that could use some sprucing up?

It's because over time, you get used to a certain look and when you change even one aspect of it, you feel like you've gone way out of your comfort zone.

I can remember buying a shade of lipstick I thought looked too bright on me.

Even though I felt uncomfortable in bright pink, I wore it to meet a friend for lunch.

Guess what the first words out of her mouth were (even before saying hi). "I love that color on you!"

When making changes, ask a close friend who can be honest yet kind to help you.

They aren't emotionally invested in your look so they can tell you what does and doesn't work.

Daughters and daughters-in-law fit the bill for this job as well.

I can remember FaceTiming with my kids, asking their opinion about an outfit I was going to wear on a date.

These adult children of ours have a sixth sense about fashion. This isn't surprising, having been exposed for years to fashion shows like What Not To Wear and Project Runway on cable TV.

Ask them.

They are brutally honest and will tell you whether an outfit is too young for you, too old for you or just right.

I really came to appreciate both my daughter and daughter-in-law for this talent.

Tip #2... Let's Talk Hair

A friend and I have season tickets to the theater where we live.

Every month, a woman sporting a Dorothy Hamill wedge haircut scoots past us to get to her seats.

Let's see ... that haircut was from the 70's so it's almost 40 years out of date.

How long has it been since you updated your hairstyle?

If it's been a while, it's probably time to make some changes.

You want to go out into the dating world feeling amazing and a new hairstyle is a great start.

By the way, men love highlights and a great cut. I can't tell you how many times I'd go on a date and men would say, "I love your hair." Hair is something men do notice, so it's worth updating your hair to a style that is soft and feminine on you.

Tip #3... Let's Play with Makeup

I was the original mother earth girl growing up.

About the only thing I wore was a touch of mascara and some Bonnie Bell lip gloss.

What can I say? We were flower children and au natural was "in."

Today, I wear makeup.

I find my eyes look bigger, my lips look fuller and my skin looks brighter when I do.

Makeup can bring out your best facial assets when applied right.

Every makeup counter in a department store has a makeup artist on staff who can show you how to bring out the best you.

Now a word of warning about makeup and men ... men don't love tons of makeup on any woman.

What they do love are your features like your eyes and your lips.

Treat yourself and let a makeup stylist show you how to make them look great!

Tip #4... Your Closet Power

When I was married, my idea of a red letter shopping day was to go to an upscale store and buy three or four pairs of jeans and one or two blouses in as many colors as I could find that fit me well.

I'd throw in some fake Birkenstocks and I thought I was the epitome of fashion.

When I began dating, these were the only clothes I had to wear.

If I'd been on a reality TV show back then, you'd have seen me running frantically around the room minutes before I was supposed to be leaving for a date ... clothes were strewn EVERYWHERE as I hunted in my closet for an outfit that made me look and feel good.

What I did find was I had absolutely nothing in my closet that reflected my personality and who I had become.

So right then and there I decided to get some help with shopping and what I found was every woman out there who is dating needs three outfits she feels amazing in because when you feel amazing, your confidence soars.

And when your confidence soars, you glow. It's the glow inside of you that triggers a man to notice you and want to get to know you!

Lisa Copeland is known as the expert on over 50's dating. Her mission is to help as many women around the world as she can discover how to have fun dating and finding their Mr. Right after 50. To get your free report, "5 Little Known Secrets To Find A Quality Man," visit www.findaqualityman.com.

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