Huffpost Celebrity
THE BLOG

Featuring fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost's signature lineup of contributors

Lisa Haisha Headshot

It's Time to End Your War Against Hollywood

Posted: Updated:

Today's entertainment news seems to be filled with conflict. There's the Jennifer Aniston versus Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt saga, the war against the Kardashians, the public's turning against Gwyneth Paltrow and Anne Hathaway, just to name a few. Even New York Magazine released their list of the "20 Most Hated Celebrities." With so much focus on wars, fights, and hate, it's a wonder anything gets done at all in Hollywood.

Unfortunately, this sort of negative focus on celebrities is not new. Iconic actress Debbie Reynolds recently stated that she was Jennifer Aniston several decades ago (when Elizabeth Taylor "stole" Eddie Fisher from her), and Elizabeth Taylor was Angelina Jolie. What makes celebrities like Taylor and Jolie so enticing to bash?

Whoopi Goldberg and the other hosts from The View said that women like Taylor and Jolie have that "It" quality that cannot be denied. They offer something exciting and can take you places you've never been. In contrast, Reynolds and Aniston have the image of the "good girl," the one your parents would love, the one to bake cookies and make babies with. That contrast of images is a breeding ground for conflict -- whether real or perceived.

In reality, Jennifer Aniston is an amazing woman and has so many worthwhile qualities. She has been a wonderful role model to many. Likewise, Angelina Jolie's gifts and strengths also make her a role model and a person of interest. They're both stellar people in their own ways and don't need the public's input to how they're doing. I would surmise that they are probably fed up with being pitted against each other anytime one or the other has a win.

So what's really going on with the public's fixation on "who should hate who" and "who is disliked"? What's the obsession of keeping tabs on the "war" between Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt? Isn't it time to set them free of the Bermuda Triangle they've been in for over seven years? What are we gaining as a society to keep them in the news? And how is doing so affecting them and us on a daily basis?

Time to Get Real

As a Hollywood life coach, my advice is this: It's time for people to stop focusing on others (namely Hollywood) and start focusing on something important (like creating the life you want). What's interesting is that the people being "pitted against each other," "hated," or "put at war" are not as attached to the past or the tabloid gossip as much as society in general is.

Think about this: Usually, whatever you say about others (both positive and negative) is a projection of your feelings about yourself. So if you're guilty of Hollywood hating, keeping tabs on who is winning, or dishing gossip on your favorite celebrity, then it's time to take inventory of your life. Chances are there's an Impostor or two lurking within, holding you back from success and happiness.

Your Impostor personalities consist of the fears, old beliefs, and habits that prevent you from achieving your highest personal and professional success. They're what entice you to hide from your own problems and instead focus on (and sometimes even invent) problems of celebrities in an attempt to feel superior. And let's face it... celebrities are easy targets. They're already in the spotlight, so learning about their lives (tribulations and all) is easy.

If you don't think you have an Impostor personality in your life that's causing you to displace your feelings about yourself onto others, see if you fit into any of these scenarios:

• Do you spend a substantial amount of time reading supermarket tabloids, entertainment magazines, or Hollywood-focused internet sites? Does your TV viewing consist of celebrity "reality" shows or entertainment "news" programs? If so, the Fixer Impostor is at work. The Fixer is like a gossipy interloper who pokes holes in other people's success. That's the only way the Fixer can feel happy.

• Do you write negative comments about celebrities and their lives in online forums? Do you verbally attack others in the forums who disagree with you? If so, the Narcissist Impostor is rearing its head. Narcissists often disassociate from their own flaws and are hypercritical of others, believing that other people are beneath them in both ability and talent.

• Do you spend time trying to "dig up" information about celebrities? When you find something "juicy," do you dwell on it, especially in cases of "celebrities gone bad"? If so, the Wounded Inner Child Impostor is in control. The Wounded Inner Child craves love and approval. Seeing how low others can go gives them great joy, because it helps them feel validated in some way.

• Do you plan ways to meet a celebrity, with the goal of getting him/her to have sex with you? If so, the Sex God(dess) Impostor is taking over. The Sex God or Goddess never learned to value themselves for what they have to offer, and they think sex is the only way to get that deep love and attention they crave. The Sex God or Goddess may seem charming and even fun on the outside, but on the inside, he or she typically suffers from very low self-esteem.

• Do you say inappropriate things about a celebrity for a laugh, especially when they've hit rock bottom (think Lindsay Lohan jokes)? If so, the Clown Impostor is stealing the show. The Clown tries to make light of things to get attention. But all those jokes are usually covering up a deep pain they are trying to hide.

These are just a few of the Impostors that could be controlling you. If you've answered
"yes" to any of these questions, it's time to give some serious thought to your life. What are you trying to avoid? Trying to hide? Trying to forget?

The key to being happy for other's success and allowing them to thrive is to deal with your own issues. Let go of your own inner wars, hate, and need to "win." Release the Impostors holding you back. When you do, the happenings of celebrities will no longer be your focus, and you'll be able to achieve so much more in your life.