THE BLOG
04/12/2010 05:12 am ET Updated Nov 17, 2011

Why Are You Boring?

Have you ever known someone who seems to live a life that never changes? Someone who is stuck in a rut? Someone who never has anything new or exciting happen to them? Someone who seems to epitomize the phrase "same stuff, different day"?
Chances are you don't like being around the person because he or she is negative, a downer, and most of all, boring.
But have you ever considered that perhaps that boring person is you?
Whether you believe you are boring or not, now is the time to look at your life and make some changes for the better. It's time to get excited about life again - and excited about the possibilities that await you.

You Are Boring When...
You are boring when you don't do anything...when you don't allow yourself to feel...when you don't participate in life and get your hands dirty...when you don't follow through on your passion.
Sound familiar?
People who are boring have lost respect for themselves. Why? Because they don't do what they say they will do. For example, maybe you've said to yourself, "This year I'm finally going to lose those 20 extra pounds." In fact, you may have said this same statement every year for the past five years. Yet, just as last year, rather than lose 20 pounds, you gain 10. As a result, you stop believing in yourself because you don't think you can achieve anything.
When you lose self-respect, you don't try anymore. You may even say, "I always fail, so why even bother." Realize that it's not that you can't achieve things; it's just that you're doing things incorrectly. It's about putting the right support structure in place and developing the right mindset.
Using the example of losing weight, you need to come to the place where it's more painful not to achieve the goal. So write down why you want to make the change. Are you overweight and your health is in danger because of it? Could you possibly even die because of those excess pounds? Really hone in on the consequences of you not doing what you say to get the motivation to make progress.

Start Small
You're boring because you keep talking and stop doing. And as we all know, talk is cheap. The problem is that most people believe you need to take huge and monumental steps to make a change. That's not true. Starting small is just as effective.
So do something small just to prove to yourself that you can follow through. Instead of saying, "I'm going to work out for one hour every day," say, "I'm going to work out today for 15 minutes." If you do more, then great. If you don't work out tomorrow, that's okay. You only promised to do it today. The point is that you achieved your goal.
Similarly, if your house is a disaster zone and completely disorganized, don't say, "I'm going to clean the whole house and get organized today." Rather, start small with, "Today I'm going to make the bed." Once you do that one small thing, then do another...and then another...and then another. Break your goal into bite size pieces so you actually do it.

Stop the Excuses
"I don't have time." "I don't have money." "I don't have whatever I need to go out and have an exciting life." The excuses are endless.
If you think you don't have time to do anything, then you need to re-assess how you're currently spending your time. We all have time. We all have moments in our day that are wasted. In fact, did you know that if you reduced your television time by five hours a week, you would gain almost 11 days a year? So turn off the television for 15 minutes and start doing something.
If you think you don't have money to do anything, then you need to rethink your resources. Not everything has to cost money. For example, suppose you want to learn how to dance. You can go to the library and get a dance instruction DVD. Or, you can barter with a dance instructor. He or she teaches you how to dance, and you do something in return. If you're an accountant, do their taxes. If you're a hairdresser, do their hair. If you're unemployed, mow their yard. Where there's a will, there's a way. Find your way.

Reconnect with Yourself
If it's been a long time since you've done anything exciting with your life, you may have forgotten what you're passionate about. That's okay. The key is to slow down and reconnect with yourself.
You're boring when you've given up on yourself. So reconnect and build trust with yourself again. Set a date with yourself to plan your life. Pretend you're meeting with someone special or someone you admire - maybe a famous actor, a world leader, or a great humanitarian. Would you be late to that meeting? Of course not! You'd make it no matter what. That's how important this meeting with yourself is.
During this meeting, think about what used to make you happy. If you can't pinpoint anything specific, then it's time to try something - anything. Take a dance class, join a book club, take a cooking class, or join a gym. You can try so many different things. Simply pick one and start. If you dislike the activity, then don't do it again. But do pick something else to try instead.
Take it one day at a time. Remember, you don't have to win the marathon. The point is to stay in the game. Do something that makes you happy today.

Move On!
No matter what's going on in your life right now, there's no excuse for being boring. It's time to stop looking at all the negatives - all the reasons not to do something - and make a positive change. Remember, there are always options; you simply have to see them. So get over it, move on, and make a change. Your new exciting life is waiting for you.