THE BLOG

Whose Business Are You In?

05/05/2015 10:26 am ET | Updated May 05, 2016

If you want to know how to become happier quickly, just notice whose business you're in. Byron Katie, spiritual teacher and author always says, "There are only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God's." I have learned that the quickest way to being happy is to stay in my own business.

Empowerment comes from embodying love, not from anger, judgment, or outrage towards another. True empowerment is peaceful. It is so freeing to realize that I don't have to become consumed or bothered by something that isn't any of my business to begin with. It is like taking a sigh of relief. The more you stay in your business, the greater space and energy you then have to create expansion in your own life.

Learn to abide in what you love, not turmoil.

I get that people can be particularly attached to focusing on others and judging others. We are all guilty of it, only the degree varies. Why else would the television show "Keeping up with the Kardashians" be so popular? America's obsession with reality TV is a way of judging ourselves as better and disconnecting from our own lives by focusing on someone else's drama. I often wonder what future generations will think of our obsession with reality TV. I am pretty sure it will seem quite odd or comical to them.

Judgment, criticism, and believing our way is the right way is the root of all conflict between individuals and nations. But here's the deal -- it's only a way of deflecting attention away from yourself, so you don't have to look at your own stuff! Start noticing how many judgmental or critical thoughts you have about anyone you encounter throughout your day. I find myself doing it over the most trivial things -- like how a friend sets up her kitchen -- good grief! I get to judge the woman in front of me in a line and think to myself, "Well, at least I am not that fat!" This is a prime example of not being in my business. I am one upping in order to feel better about my own body image of which I am obviously not completely accepting of or I would have no need to compare or criticize someone else.

"You can measure dysfunction by how much people are in someone else's business." -- Adyashanti

Do you want to be happier? Then begin making a conscious effort to notice when your thoughts and conversations are critical, condemning, or judgmental (AKA gossip and drama.) Then ask yourself, "Whose business am I in?" If it's not yours, drop it like a hot potato! A note of caution: It is important that you don't judge yourself when you catch yourself, but gently redirect yourself back to you and notice how freeing it feels. You will quickly begin to realize how exhausting it has been to involve yourself in anything outside of your own business. Now you are free to pursue your own passion, happiness, and dreams!