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Lisa Mirza Grotts

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A Dining Cheat Sheet

Posted: 06/05/11 04:05 PM ET

Dining manners are not just empty rules; they make dining with others a more pleasant experience for everyone. The next time you dine in someone's home or in a restaurant, remember your Ps and Qs for optimal dining enjoyment.

The napkin is usually placed to the left of the plate, under the forks. Some hosts prefer to place the napkin on the center of the plate. Either way is okay.

Put your napkin in your lap soon after you sit down. If you must leave the table between courses, place the napkin on your chair so no one sees if it is soiled. When you leave the table at the end of the meal, fold the napkin softly and place it to the left of your plate.

The dinner plate is placed directly in front of the chair, one inch from the edge of the table.

The smaller salad plate is placed to the left of the dinner plate.

The bread plate and butter knife are placed just above the fork and slightly to the left. The butter knife, which is small, is placed at an angle on the plate.

Forks always go to the left of the plate. Use forks from the outside in: the salad fork on the outside and dinner fork on the inside.

Knives always go to the right of the plate. Use each knife from the outside in. All knives should be placed with the sharp side facing in. If there is a salad knife, it is placed to the right of the dinner knife. If there is a fish course, the fish knife will be on the outside as it will be served before the salad course.

The soup spoon goes to the right of the knife or knives. When eating soup, always spoon it away from you. If the soup is hot, skim from the top layer only. And never slurp.

Dessert spoons and forks are placed above the plate or are brought out with the dessert.
If the wait staff does not drag the spoon and fork down to the left and right side of the plate -- it's your job.

Glasses are placed just above the knife or knives and slightly to the right in the following order: water glass, red-wine glass, white-wine glass. Coffee is normally served separately, often times after dessert.

Salt and pepper always travel together when passed. Don't salt your food until after you taste it.

Food -- platters and bowls, bread, and salt and pepper -- is passed to the right. For large groups, have more than one of each on the table.

Food of any kind is served from the left of a diner. When food is cleared, it is done from the right.

At the end of the meal, knifes and forks should be placed on the plate in the 4:20 position of a clock. This is the "I am finished" position and signifies non-verbally to the waiter or host that you have finished eating.

Lisa Mirza Grotts is a recognized etiquette expert, on-air contributor, and the author of A Traveler's Passport to Etiquette. She is a former director of protocol for the city and county of San Francisco and the founder and CEO of The AML Group (www.AMLGroup.com), certified etiquette and protocol consultants. Her clients range from Stanford Hospital to Cornell University and Levi Strauss. She has been quoted by Condé Nast Traveler, InStyle magazine, and the Los Angeles Times. To learn more about Lisa, follow her on www.Twitter.com/LisaGrotts and www.Facebook.com/LisaGrotts.

 
 
 

Follow Lisa Mirza Grotts on Twitter: www.twitter.com/LisaGrotts

Dining manners are not just empty rules; they make dining with others a more pleasant experience for everyone. The next time you dine in someone's home or in a restaurant, remember your Ps and Qs for ...
Dining manners are not just empty rules; they make dining with others a more pleasant experience for everyone. The next time you dine in someone's home or in a restaurant, remember your Ps and Qs for ...
 
 
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12:50 PM on 06/07/2011
The only thing that I find a little overdone is spooning soup away from you. Guess it depend on your dining partners.
11:40 AM on 06/07/2011
Pertaining to the 4:20 position of silverware to show you're finished-

So what do you do when the waiters try to take your food away before you're finished? I feel like every time I eat somewhere they start trying to take my food away while there's still food on the plate, and when I haven't put my silverware in this "i'm finished" position. That's my biggest pet peeve of dining, the second being when servers don't let the ladies order first.

And isn't there some rule about not taking everyone else's plates away while there's still one person eating? It always makes me feel awkward to be the only one with a plate on the table.

Haha maybe I just need to eat faster :-\ Why can't I just savor my food and the conversation?
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Wistfulslinking
World traveller, bon-vivant, writer..
10:00 AM on 06/07/2011
All electronic devices should be in the off position and not even visiable or checked until you are alone after the meal.
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miggiepdx
Time goes by, and things change.
10:11 AM on 06/06/2011
Why is this column provoking anger and rudeness?
06:49 PM on 06/05/2011
So who doesn't already know this?
I was taught in first grade.
Probably appropriate here though, as most democrats chew with their mouths open and their elbows on the table.
liry
Runnin' on empty
11:18 PM on 06/06/2011
Why did you have to take a perfectly neutral, innocent article and turn it into an ugly political commentary? It's ok to let it go for just a few minutes.
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CarlyHope
04:11 PM on 06/05/2011
Lady I'm all for good food and wine, and foodie whatever but this is just obnoxious. People in this country don't have enough to eat who gives a crap if you pass food to the right
10:11 AM on 06/06/2011
If you even actually know anyone who cannot feed themselves or their families, maybe you should get off the computer and actually do something about it, instead of bringing it into a conversation where it has nothing to do with the topic...but then, you would not be able to come here and show off how delightfully obnoxious you are.

Why is it always those who choose to be crude find manners SOooo offensive, hmm? One guess, and the 1st two don't count.

What is this sick American't propensity to show off how ignorant, uneducated and crude you are? Proud of it? I'll never understand it.

If you are able to comprehend the article, go back and read the 1st two paragraphs, where the author details that her discussion relates to dining in someone's home, restaurants, etc. Don't worry, no situations you are likely to find yourself, as you apparently spend all your free time feeding the poor and volunteering, amirite?
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Wistfulslinking
World traveller, bon-vivant, writer..
10:04 AM on 06/07/2011
1) Never address anyone as "Lady", it is offensive. The title is Miss or Mrs. Grott.

2) Manners are in no related to income. Take yourself as an example, winning the lottery wouldn't render your lack of civility more palatable.