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Lisa Mirza Grotts

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Bread and Butter Etiquette

Posted: 06/21/11 10:39 AM ET

It's the little things that count with manners, including the proper way to eat bread and butter when dining in company. These tips will make you a pleasant and knowledgeable dining companion:

• A basket with rolls, sliced breads, crackers, and/or breadsticks may be passed at the table, or a roll may already be on your bread plate.

• As with all food at the table, bread baskets are always passed to the right. If you are the host, pass the basket to the right but first offer it to the person on your direct left so he or she does not have to wait until the basket goes all around the table. For larger groups, there should be more than one basket on the table.

• If a basket is passed, take only one roll at a time. You can always have seconds!

• If you are served bread, place it on your bread plate, which is the small plate to the left of your dinner plate. If butter is passed, place one pat on your bread plate. If the butter is in foil, remove the foil, fold it, and place to the side of your bread plate.

• The golden rule of eating bread is to break off a small piece, hold it in your fingers (not your palm), and butter it one bite at a time, using a butter knife if one is lying on your bread plate. Never butter an entire roll all at once!

• Bread may de dipped (or sopped) in gravy or soup, but be careful not to drip the liquid on your plate or clothes.

Lisa Mirza Grotts is a recognized etiquette expert, on-air contributor and the author of A Traveler's Passport to Etiquette. She is a former director of protocol for the city and county of San Francisco and the founder and CEO of The AML Group, certified etiquette and protocol consultants. Her clients range from Stanford Hospital to Cornell University and Levi Strauss. She has been quoted by Condé Nast Traveler, InStyle Magazine, and the Los Angeles Times. To learn more about Lisa, follow her on Twitter.com/LisaGrotts and www.Facebook.com/LisaGrotts.

 
 
 

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MuckyPup
Think, Thank, Thunk
11:10 PM on 06/23/2011
The very cool thing about breaking off bread a little bit at a time and buttering it is that you get to have more butter.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Nora Bahr
06:46 PM on 06/23/2011
Am I the only one who finds this a little dated?

I think in my lifetime I have encountered a true bread plate in a formal setting a grand total of three times, and I know I can't be alone there. Maybe and etiquette guide for a trickier and more modern situation like a more casual setting?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
electricladyland
Don't censor me bro.
09:13 AM on 06/23/2011
Bread etiquette? I don't think so. Don't block my access to the bread.
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maxout22
08:54 AM on 06/23/2011
When I'm cooking my favorite pasta dish I'll slice up some real italian bread and dip it in seasoned olive oil and eat 5-6 slices while I'm cooking, with a glass of red wine of course. After reading this article I think I'll continue to eat my bread my way.
12:05 AM on 06/23/2011
As host, I like to hoard the bread basket in my lap at the head of the table. I wad it up into balls and catapult them on the end of a spoon at my guests.
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maxout22
08:42 AM on 06/23/2011
That's funny.
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Nora Bahr
06:48 PM on 06/23/2011
lol, I wanna be a guest at your house!

I'm reminded of the kitschy restaurants we used to go to here in the South that had "thrown rolls". They stood back from the table and pitched your dinner roll at you. XD
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HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
KIVPossum
Moldova Marsupial
01:09 PM on 06/22/2011
One of my wifes few faults is the way she handles bread at a meal. Doesn't matter if we are at home, a cheap diner, or the fanciest restaurant available, she's going to lay her bread on the table beside her plate.
08:24 AM on 06/22/2011
Good people always pass to the left. Puff, puff, pass. It's not a microphone.
07:06 AM on 06/22/2011
This breadiquette is useful.. for a formal affair.

Etiquette is always related to time and place. At home do what pleases you among close friends and family. At an Italian table there is always plenty of bread! going multiple directions and being torn by hand directly from the loaf (except weddings) I have great memories of my father tearing a piece on my behalf sopping my plate for me handing me the morsel and saying "like this my son"

Many a culture bond with bread. Obviously I would never do this at Windsor Castle.
Bread is over 30,000 years old I think humanity has the eating method covered by now.
Quick note: The Finns make some of the best bread in the world. Buy bread in Helsinki.
04:40 AM on 06/22/2011
Wow; talk about obvious! What's next? The proper etiquette on how to open a door?
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03:29 AM on 06/22/2011
These type of everyday things were taught in grade school routinely until the late 60s. I think the lack of good table manners, the lack of courtesy and proper behavior has led to the very mean nation we have become. Look around the next time you go to a restaurant and see the number of people on cell phones while eating or with a real live human being and ignoring them in favor of the cell.....sad
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yogajan
Well behaved women rarely make history
01:30 AM on 06/22/2011
Bread baking is my hobby and there are no rules when heating my bread. When you walk into my kitchen and smell the bread baking in the oven and tomorrow's sourdough starter doing its chemical reaction, no one is thinking manners.
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03:29 AM on 06/22/2011
that's a shame....
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simfar
semper ubi sub ubi.
11:29 PM on 06/21/2011
I try for good manners, but when I die an ancient, wizened crone and reach The Pearly Gates, if the biggest strike against me is that I used the wrong bread plate, or buttered too big a piece of bread, I will have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.
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AgathaX
Pro-science; anti-using-the-world-as-one-big-lab.
03:53 AM on 06/22/2011
Manners are sort of like grammer. They are not there to oppress. They are there to facilitate and create order. So that when you're relating some witty tale about one of those episodes that earned you wizened crone status, your dinner partner will actually be listening to you and not thinking, "she just ate my bread."
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Js420
Another beautiful sunny day!
11:25 PM on 06/21/2011
Lifes too short for bread etiquette.
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03:30 AM on 06/22/2011
small steps begin great journeys
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DemFem
10:34 PM on 06/21/2011
You haven't seen me eat!!!
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10:17 PM on 06/21/2011
"Fold the foil and place it beside your plate..."

Jesus, just eat what you want and don't worry about it. The don't take more than one piece until everybody's had an opportunity makes sense--but that's awareness and common courtesy. Most of the rest of this is really superfluous, and the display made by either slavishly following it or disapproving of others not doing likewise is more a problem than the matter itself.