"If you want to conquer fear, don't sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy." - Dale Carnegie
The first steps in growth, not change, will always seem the hardest. Daunting even. Safety will always be in the known. Greatness is out there in the great big unknown however. Every day people talk about how much or how badly they want something, yet the fear of those first few steps keep them chasing their tail and stalling.
They lie to themselves about how easy or hard it is and how much of themselves has to be given to realize their goals. It's only as hard or as easy as you make it. If you want results, you have to participate in your own success. You're not entitled to anything unless own your story (as is), block out the BS and put in the work.
The REAL work. The work that starts with your mindset. Your beliefs. Your habits. Your self-love and inner conversation. I can promise that if you start with that, the rest is easier. You absolutely possess the skills to grow, evolve and prosper in the face of adversity. Tell yourself the truth and you become limitless.
The Five Lies You Tell Yourself:
"I'm special." Nope, no you're not. You're the only you, but you're not special. Special is what your nana calls you. Special is the chachkie your mom gave you for your 7th birthday. You, you are not special. We all have struggles, triumphs, experience hardship and joy, almost equally.
While you could argue that some people have suffered or are suffering a great deal more than you, they're not special either. There will always be someone much worse off than you and others who are far ahead of where you think you are. Think of their struggle or success and let it give you perspective. Don't compare.
"If I'm patient it will happen." Are you kidding? Go get it. Does a fish just jump in the boat because you want to catch it? No, you must bait your hook for what you want to catch and put your boat in the water where the fish are biting. Patience is not what you need when you are trying to have a better life experience. Patience will keep you chasing your tail and bored out of your mind.
You must take action, every day, to get what you want. One word, one step in the direction of your dreams, one connection made - that is what you need, not patience. I promise you.
"I can have it when________." Again, nope. You can have it now. Just believe you deserve it. Do you believe you deserve it, by the way? If not, that's your first problem. When is when exactly? Must the stars align on the third Tuesday of the fourth full moon for you to have "it"?
Are you not feeling special enough or worthy or deserving of whatever this elusive "it" is? Knock that crap off. Right now. You are not living the life you want because you believe you need permission, some sort of entitlement or the approval of family, friends, whomever.
Believe in you. Believe in your ability. Believe that you don't need permission. If it helps, here - here is your permission slip. I am giving you permission to_________. You fill in the blank.
"Money will make _______happen. I need the money first." A bit cart before the horse, no? You make things happen! Money is just an exchange of energy. It's not some elusive beast that you must hunt down and wrangle. Money is this thing that we have been raised to believe is the root of evil, doesn't grow on trees, isn't easy to come by, etc. None of that is true.
Think back to how money was talked about when you were growing up. Did rich people do bad things to make it or did they work their asses off to achieve a goal they set? Your beliefs about money are most likely not even your beliefs. Heal that money story and re-frame how you think about how it is exchanged and circulated. Seriously, it's that simple.
"I will be happy when _________." Oh, the happiness fairy is just gonna swing by and drop of some joy and gratitude and give-a-shit? Sister, create your own happy and more happy follows. You are happy and you create it by doing things you love and not doing things you do not like.
You don't get happiness like a software update, like it's out-of-date or something. You won't get an email reminder from Microsoft or Apple to update it. Happiness is a state of being not some thing you can purchase. Bought happiness, by the way, is only temporary. The high is great, but when you come down you will crash hard. You will always be chasing that next happy high if you don't find permanent joy in your life.
What lie have you told yourself lately?
Lisa Schmidt is a Reinvention Catalyst for women. She lives in Detroit,MI. If you have questions, send them to her directly Right Here.. Are you in need of support? Let's connect and thrive together! Join my free newsletter to get advice and tips to guide you in navigating your new or reclaimed life, a free mastermind group, and a copy of my eBook "Reinventing Me" HERE.