Over Christmas I had the opportunity to interact with and observe my 11- and 10-year-old nieces. Both, as far as either mother could tell, still believed in Santa Claus. The 10-year-old had slipped a letter in a sealed envelope onto the Christmas tree without telling her parents. Addressed to "Santa Claus," there was no indication that she, in fact, knew perfectly well "Santa" was really Mom, Dad, and Grandma. The 11-year-old who, incidentally, underwent menarche over the holiday,* also exhibited no suspicion about Santa. The kids were fascinating to watch. On the threshold between tween and teen, they seemed to wholly inhabit both, yet neither worlds. I was somewhat horrified that the 11-year-old's body believed she was ready to be a mother as I watched her act out like any elementary school child as the kids, myself, and their Grandma waited in line to sit on Santa's lap (not me, just them... but I consider myself lucky). It was cute... and bizarre... and fascinating... and, frankly, annoying... but cute.
Anyway, I've always been fascinated by the Santa lie and really enjoyed this essay about lies we tell children. I've always thought to myself that I had no interest in perpetuating the Santa lie.** But who knows what I would do when awakened from the leisure of living a life of principle (i.e., a childless life) and learning to prioritize pragmatics (i.e., my sanity) and, let's face it, pleasure (i.e., the joy of your child's innocence). As the mother of the 10-year-old Santa-believer said, "We still have a little girl." I suppose, all things considered, believing in Santa is a pretty good measure of your child's intellectual and social development; it may just be one of the last things that children (who grow up celebrating Christmas) shed on the way to their Fuck You Years.
In any case, and forgive me for rambling, I find the whole thing so very interesting. What experiences have you had with the Santa lie? Why have you chosen to lie or tell the truth to your children? Do you think you did the right thing? When do children typically discover this falsehood? And what was the revelation like? Was the child horrified? Betrayed? Or did the child take it in stride? And what purposes, ultimately, do you think the lie serves?
* Language veiled to the pre-teens in question just in case... it's a secret. Shhhh.
** So much for protecting the pre-teens.
After that, religion will control their sex lives and, as you know, if you can tell someone what to do in the bedroom, you can tell them what to do in all other aspects of their lives, including what they buy and what they do as a voters.
You don't have to pour water over the magic. Just say rather than "Santa comes down the chimney" instead: "The STORY goes that Santa comes down the chimney..." You can still have fun playing out the Santa game as a family.
I don't think kids need to be lied to and made to believe in crazy things in order to exercise imaginations. There are more wonderful and mysterious things in the real world than anything we could ever make up.