THE BLOG

Why You Should Date a Woman Who Loves the Barbell

03/04/2015 03:21 pm ET | Updated May 04, 2015

2015-03-03-1425409895-352356-barbellbitch22009.jpg

Because we're real.

Because our thumbs hurt from hookgripping deadlifts, and our voices are all sexy from yelling for somebody trying to pull 250 pounds from the floor when it's just not moving. We don't care. We yell anyhow, like our volume can lift pounds.

Because our posterior chains are amazing. We work like mofos to build bodacious booties and we're not afraid to talk about them. We look great heading into a room and even better leaving one. You will stare and we're okay with that. Unless you're a creep, and then we're going to get right in your grill.

Because we spit when we run. And not dribbles. We can nail that stop-sign if we need to.

We know how to hug. Long, well, and hard enough that your soul feels refilled and you know that you can go on simply because another human being really gives a damn about you.

We know how to listen. We've heard it all, but still your story is new. We've never heard it quite that way. And we know the right words that will help.

We get the pain. We've lived the pain. We don't expect it to go away, ever. And we know how to deal with it. We prescribe power cleans for broken hearts.

We know to rub chalk on our calluses, but not all over our hands. We never clap and make a big cloud like they do in videos. That's just stupid.

We wear yoga pants, but hardly ever to yoga. We wear them to front squat, back squat, snatch, deadlift, clean and jerk, and pretty much everything else, including going to work, school meetings, doctor's appointments, and almost everywhere but weddings and funerals. And we don't give a damn if anybody says we shouldn't. Dress yourself. We'll dress us.

Because we have attitude, and we own it. There are no apologies to be given for speaking our minds, speaking our hearts, or standing up for what we believe in.

And we believe in more weight on the bar, more depth to your squat, less ice in your whiskey, and more love in your heart.

And we're not afraid to throw our clothes on the floor and stride off to the bedroom in full house lights just to get your attention. We're not ashamed of our bodies, we are only ashamed of this world for trying to put fear and self-loathing on us.

So if you can get your act together, you should date a woman who loves the barbell. Because it's not too late to really start living.