7 Reasons Why Your College Roommates Hate You

Everyone can identify the obvious causes of roommate strife. You're a slob. You're a mooch. You invite unsavory characters back to the communal pad.

But many students hate their roommates for stickier, subtler reasons. Some of these reasons are your fault. Some are beyond your control. Either way, knowing why you're hated is half the battle. The other half of the battle involves secretly tampering with their stuff... (I'm just kidding. I don't endorse tampering. Please don't write angry comments, or in any way corrupt your roommate's Captain Crunch.) And feel free to add your own comments on why some roommates can't help hating each other.

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Although it’s the most common source of tension among female roommates, this reason rarely if ever comes to light, as women are adept at obscuring insecurities behind self-righteous rationales. For example, they’ll say they think it’s morally wrong that you’re dating more than one person. They think it’s academically irresponsible to always ask for (and receive) assignment extensions from your male professors. They find your Halloween costume –- a Lady Gaga-esque take on Red Riding Hood -- degrading to women. They will wage a war of mini-battles, from eye rolls to passive aggressive Post-It notes in common areas (were you expecting one of your MANY boyfriends to empty this waste basket?), until someone prettier than you or uglier than them transfers into your townhouse.

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Although it’s the most common source of tension among female roommates, this reason rarely if ever comes to light, as women are adept at obscuring insecurities behind self-righteous rationales. For example, they’ll say they think it’s morally wrong that you’re dating more than one person. They think it’s academically irresponsible to always ask for (and receive) assignment extensions from your male professors. They find your Halloween costume –- a Lady Gaga-esque take on Red Riding Hood -- degrading to women. They will wage a war of mini-battles, from eye rolls to passive aggressive Post-It notes in common areas (were you expecting one of your MANY boyfriends to empty this waste basket?), until someone prettier than you or uglier than them transfers into your townhouse.

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Comments

[jane e pimentel]

08:14 PM on 10/13/2010

my first roommate and I did not get along at all.. And Im vegan and have celiac disease so Im gluten free, go figure.

[Anony10]

01:32 AM on 10/13/2010

Hey, what's wrong with keeping a diary?

[Nikol Fleuris]

09:23 PM on 10/06/2010

I think this article itself is yet again another media outlet trying to place womyn in a stereotypical box and keep so-called "gender hierarchies" static. Why does the roommate have to be dating two people? and why does this "beautiful women" always have to be asking for extensions from male professors? Not all college womyn do these things in college gentlemen, and if they are there the majority of them are there for an education.

[MH Buttahz]

03:09 PM on 10/04/2010

I kept getting placed with the "partiers" for some reason and I'm definitely not a partier...they hated that fact and thoght I was a bit odd. Then they started blaming me for the most obnoxious things...:\ now though I have the last laugh I'm now going to a junior college and I have a room to myself that I'm renting!

[UNLVGOP]

06:46 AM on 10/03/2010

Tyler Clementi can think of another reason I'm sure.....

[GonzoLoungeLizard]

04:00 PM on 10/02/2010

As long as the bowl was packed all was forgiven

[nickhiltunen]

08:31 PM on 10/01/2010

Boy, the timing of this piece is really ... tasteful. What with the Rutgers kid jumping from the bridge b/c of his roommate's actions. Nice work.

[robivecchi]

11:14 AM on 10/01/2010

My first college roommate was a slobbish country frat boy and my second one was ok until after winter break when he suddenly became an alcoholic who would stumble into the room and vomit. Either way it was hard to study or sleep.

[Ashley Erin]

12:44 AM on 09/27/2010

One of my roommates when I was a sophomore in college used to talk to her boyfriend in elvish including when they were in bed... it was disturbing...

[SDB2]

08:04 PM on 09/28/2010

That's actually pretty tame compared to some of the stuff I've seen.

[formerroadie]

12:13 AM on 09/27/2010

Never had roommate issues in college. I suppose I could have eventually, but I married my best friend and gorgeous girlfriend and we became permanent roomies..... so much better than rooming with other guys :).

[Jane Wendorff-Craps]

11:38 AM on 09/26/2010

There are many reasons why people annoy us: personal differences, religious views (like the below Jim and Tammy Baker roomie), bad behavior issues, etc. We claim that humans are social creatures and crave connections to other human beings, so why is it that when we are forced into confinement with another person it can be torturous? Why can't I turn the other cheek when my room mate sleeps through her alarm clock for 20 minutes, why can't I be tolerant when she leaves her dirty underwear on my side of the room, why does my heart race when she asks in her pumpkin pie voice if her boyfriend can spend the night when her bed is 4 feet away from mine? I want to like my room mate, I want to be understanding and giving- but it is so dang hard sometimes!

Do we as Americans lack social graces that limit our acceptance by others, or is this a global issue:-)

[Fromageball]

05:04 PM on 10/06/2010

I studied abroad in Germany and no one actually shared a room. There were flats(called suites here) and each person had his/her own locked room. Of course, this did not stop people from being slobs in the kitchens and bathrooms, but overall it was much better to have a place to go where you can be alone.

[abinley]

05:31 AM on 09/26/2010

This is extraordinarily accurate. I have five roomates, a beautiful could-be fashion model who is prone to nasty, unpredictable mood swings, a Type-A marketing major who would never dream of sleeping through class and has after-college jobs already lined up, one who like to reference her beloved hometown of Chicago every other sentence, and me. And I'm a vegan. Typical.

[Lisa Shields]

02:35 AM on 09/26/2010

My freshman year room mate was jock, and a born again.
I was a bookish student, inclined to the literary.

I woke up one morning, and she was watch tv, weeping quietly, and watching the PTL CLUB. Yup...JIm and Tammy Faye themselves. She sent them money each month. I know there were things about me she disliked...but I has a list almost as long about her.

We had "suite mates"...three rooms that shared a common bathroom. Most of the other girls got along fine. BFF's, and all that. When the year ended, most of them rented a house together. I was not invited---but by then I'd listened to enough Jackson Brown to last a lifetime. The next fall, they invited me to dinner...and I realized that in just one month, they were at each others throats.

Lesson learned...I made sure I rented my own digs...and was able to maintain my friendships!

[DSevere]

11:46 PM on 09/24/2010

What about the opposite of the slob -- the obsessive neat freak, who gets all snippy because there's dust on the window sill and you forgot to use a coaster, that kind of thing? (Often accompanied by a tendency to collect some kind of figurine, as well as obsessive planning of future wedding that probably will never happen because she drives guys crazy, and not in a good way...)

[veritas88]

07:38 PM on 09/24/2010

One reason I couldn't stand my sophomore college roomate was that SHE NEVER EVER LEFT THE ROOM. Well, of course she left for classes and to use the bathroom or get food, but that was it. She didn't have any friends and only had one extra-curricular activity (soccer) which she often missed just to stay in the room and watch TV. She even watched TV while she read. You have no idea how irritating it is to go about your day, go to classes, go to work, meet up w/ friends, etc and come back to the room with her. always. there. Ugh. I used to pray she wouldn't be there. Her presence seemed to suck up all the oxygen in the room.

[FPhoebe]

10:22 PM on 09/24/2010

My roommate this year never leaves the room. Ever. When we first met she told me she would never be in the room; HA! I'm beginning to think she doesn't go to many of her classes either. I leave and she's there. I come back; she's there. Last weekend I was really sick and for that reason didn't leave the room much, except to get food for lunch and dinner. I always asked if she was going, she would always say no, she was staying in. You know why? She eats nothing but crap all day: cookies, candy, soda, and pbj sandwiches. Didn't shower for several days in a row either. I just want an hour or so a day to not have to be around people. Is that so much to ask for? My roommate watches tv all the time too, but she watches it on her laptop, with headphones on. For hours and hours and hours consecutively. Oh, and for the first few weeks of rooming together she would listen to the same 4 songs, on repeat, for HOURS at a time. They would play while we were sleeping...except I'd wake up and hear those same 4 songs playing over and over. I finally just started turning music on whenever she had that crap on and play mine much louder. She finally got the message.

Can you tell I'm a little frustrated?

[veritas88]

01:53 AM on 09/25/2010

Wow, you have it worse than I did! I hope things get much better for you! I roomed with my omnipresent roomie fall semester of sophomore year and then moved out for spring semester. I would suggest you do a room switch if it becomes unbearable for you. I'm the kind of person that needs a few hours to myself everyday, so I couldn't tolerate her presence any longer than I had to. She began to figuratively suffocate me. I couldn't take it. I shared a room with my sister all through growing up and never had to deal with her always being there so when I got this weird roommate I couldn't take it. Luckily I had normal roommates when I was a freshman, and during the rest of college (well I was fortunate enough to have a single for junior and senior years).