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Marriage Changes Things

Posted: 05/14/2012 11:24 am

"WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO WASH DISHES?" Emir's voice boomed from the kitchen.

We had barely taken the "Just Married" sign off the back of his rusty blue Sentra, and I was sitting on the black futon in the living room of our West Hollywood apartment, job- hunting online while a "Golden Girls" rerun played in the background. A golf ball-size lump rose in my throat. In the kitchen, Emir stood over the sink, putting the dish rack's contents back in and drenching the dishes in green liquid soap.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He handed me the offending plate. A faint trace of Parmesan clung to the edge. I scratched it away. Sponge poised, he reached for another dish.

"It's just this one," I insisted. "These others are fine."

"Look at this place!" he shouted, scrubbing vigorously. "I clean the countertops until they sparkle and you leave coffee-cup rings. My clothes are hanging, yours collect in those horrible little piles on the bathroom floor."

He was right, but I balked and called him OCD. It was an attempt to deny, to myself as much as to Emir, the shame I felt over my seeming inability to distinguish cleanliness from mess. Still, he had seen my rooms since we lived in college dorms. He knew I was no Martha Stewart. Why was it different now that we were married? Sometime after the night we vowed to walk each other's hound dogs and polish each other's blue suede shoes in an Elvis-led ceremony in Las Vegas, something had shifted between us. We were too broke to take a honeymoon, and our "honeymoon period" was not exactly shaping up to be a state of bliss.

I had expected nothing to change. But here we were, an unconventional twosome who suddenly found ourselves filling the most conventional of roles. Marriage, I thought, was not supposed to do this -- not to us -- but as it turns out, marriage changes things no matter what kind of couple you are.

What made us different was that Emir was gay and I knew it when I married him. We were not physically intimate and neither of us wanted to be. We married because he was going to have to leave the country after his student visa ran out. I did not have many friends who knew and understood me the way Emir did. He was my best friend. I didn't want to be without him, and I certainly didn't want to be alone.

The real stakes were for Emir, who came from a gay-intolerant Muslim homeland. (In order to protect his family and identity, it's a place I'll call Emirstan.) He was determined to find a way to make a post-college life in the United States. In Emirstan, hate crimes against gay people were no cause for outrage. Shortly after 9/ 11, new prejudice against young Middle Eastern men plus a difficult economy made finding work (which would earn him a visa) difficult for Emir. I understood his predicament. I grew up with my mother, who worked in the Foreign Service in visa sections of embassies abroad. I knew enough about immigration to realize he would likely have to leave the country if I didn't intervene.

So I asked him to marry me. (I didn't tell my mother. For three years she thought he was my "nice gay roommate.") Emir and I loved each other and offered each other everything except our bodies.

The full version of this essay was originally published in "Wedding Cake for Breakfast: Essays on the Unforgettable First Year of Marriage."

 
FOLLOW WEDDINGS
"WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO WASH DISHES?" Emir's voice boomed from the kitchen. We had barely taken the "Just Married" sign off the back of his rusty blue Sentra, and I was sitting on the black futon in t...
"WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO WASH DISHES?" Emir's voice boomed from the kitchen. We had barely taken the "Just Married" sign off the back of his rusty blue Sentra, and I was sitting on the black futon in t...
 
 
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AgathaX
Pro-science; anti-using-the-world-as-one-big-lab.
11:04 PM on 05/16/2012
My best friend doesn't yell at me for not getting the dishes perfectly spotless. With friends like that who needs enemies?
09:30 AM on 05/16/2012
They'll have sex - just not together.
07:28 PM on 05/15/2012
I don't see a problem with this. After marriage, there's no sex anyway so it's almost like being gay.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Onika M Chalk
09:50 PM on 05/15/2012
THAT'S HILARIOUS!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
OpinionatedSoul
02:31 AM on 05/16/2012
Umm....Gay people DO have sex you know!!!
07:25 PM on 05/15/2012
Awww.... this is so sweet!!! Now that's a true friend!!!

To all the rude and mean comments keep this in mind: How would you feel if you were an illegal immigrant and your friend was offering to marry you so that you don't have to deported.How would you feel if you know that your country does not accept your sexuality and there is a change you might get killed if you return to your country.
AND PLEASE DON'T ANSWER OR THINK THAT YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THE ABOVE THANKS TO GOD OR WHATEVER CAUSE EVERYONE IN THIS PART OF THE WORLD HAS ANCESTORS THAT ARE IMMIGRANTS AND CAME TO THIS PART OF THE WORLD FOR FREEDOM.
This country is seeming less and less as a free country.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
neworchard
07:25 PM on 05/15/2012
Marriage of mutual convenience or not, Liza, I believe you behave as a classic enabler and are trapped in co-dependency. I encourage you see out therapeutic help. Your self-esteem and freedom as a human being depend upon it.
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starchildjg24
Balance, Logic and Humor Rule
07:13 PM on 05/15/2012
Wow, most everyone missed the point of the article and just concentrated on the sex part! LOL! I know when I got married, all of a sudden my husband (straight) thought I was going to be Suzi Homemaker and he was going to do the couch and beer and TV thing! After I got done laughing, we split the chores.
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07:13 PM on 05/15/2012
This is more common than you realize .
06:58 PM on 05/15/2012
LOL I have to laugh.... Lets see if I ge this right same sex marriage is not wha the people want so what does that leave a gay man? She knew he was gay and still married him... Now everyone is upset that she did it to keep him in the country...Well now people are saying this is not a marriage becasue they won't have sex...come on people let them alone. Why is it that people feel they have the right to tell one how to be married or live their life why can't people keep their minds in their own business. I guess the conservitives in this country want to have smaller government but want big brother in the bedroom.... When will people realize that sometimes 2 people can be in love and may not fit the regular view of some people
06:37 PM on 05/15/2012
People always say "You should marry your best friend". MILLIONS of people marry all the time to someone who may not be their "Dreamboat" , but who they settle for, because they don't want to be alone. They want companionship. Especially later in life when the physical side isn't as important. And arranged marriages have lasted throughout the centuries, and those weren't formed on love or sex? These two actually have a friendship love that many "Real" marriages don't. (just look at the divorce rate of more than 50%, and how many marriages are for money or convenience, or how many before the 60's were because someone got pregnant!!!)
06:28 PM on 05/15/2012
i married and my wife caight me in our bed with a man - she threw me out of the house - some woman just arent sympathatic
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freedame
Kindness is an underrrated virtue
02:58 AM on 05/16/2012
Did you tell her the truth when you got married? That's the kicker.
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Peacockjp
Art Washes away the dust of every day life-Picasso
09:49 PM on 05/16/2012
Well - What ever blows up your skirt - but I have always been monogamous.
06:23 PM on 05/15/2012
They are both lawbreakers, and should both be prosecuted. She obviously lied to authorities.
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starchildjg24
Balance, Logic and Humor Rule
07:08 PM on 05/15/2012
I think we have far more serious crimes to worry about.
hnnbar
Universal river of thought...
07:09 PM on 05/15/2012
If you are an undocumented immigrant in the United States (sometimes referred to as an "illegal immigrant"), nothing stops you from marrying a U.S. citizen, or most anyone else you wish to marry. U.S. citizens marry illegal immigrants on a regular basis. (The main limitations on marriage in the U.S. have to do with your age and whether the person you wish to marry is a close relative.)
06:22 PM on 05/15/2012
Mitt Romney would approve of this marriage because, as he says: "Marriage is a relationship between one man and one woman." Oops, is that all marriage is about? Sometimes it's confusing.
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bpdarling
Party of LOGIC and COMMON SENSE
07:40 PM on 05/15/2012
Hey, it's one man and one woman....totally legal, and approved by Mitt Romney.
07:45 PM on 05/15/2012
this isnt a relationship its commiting fraud
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ShawnzySwag
Keeping the sanity and constitutionality alive.
08:25 PM on 05/15/2012
That marriage license says differently.
11:28 PM on 05/15/2012
How is it any different than anyone else getting married? They love each other...they just don't have sex. Many marriages are of mixed sexual orientation and they do just fine.
06:13 PM on 05/15/2012
Emir and I loved each other and offered each other everything except our bodies.

>>>Sounds like a friend. But, whatever floats your marital boat. If, in your opinion, a marriage isn't a sacred joining of two people, but then again, the visa was up! So, when you, as the wife, decide to be sexual and cheat on Emir, will the divorce still keep him in this country? Just wondering...
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dav0001
I can't believe you people
08:16 PM on 05/15/2012
So why are you thinking it will only be her cheating on him? He's going to be sleeping with other men while she's also sleeping with men. Maybe that's what will make it work out.
08:34 PM on 05/15/2012
gee. Glad you have such respect for marriage vows.
10:12 PM on 05/15/2012
Sounds like a 3-some solves the problem. Hey, if they get a guy to crawl on all 4's, can they adopt him as a pet? kinda makes doggy-style a little different, but hey, if its consexual isnt that all thgat matters?
06:07 PM on 05/15/2012
A woman would have to be a total masochist and have little or no self-esteem to KNOWINGLY marry a Gay man. She could be a close friend, but friendship has its limits. You don't marry a friend just to keep him in this country with the expectation that it's going to keep the friendship strong. This was a total disaster waiting to happen, yet, sadly, it happens every day.
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bree zee
mad scientist and romance writer
07:33 PM on 05/15/2012
don't agree. a person would have to have an incredible heart to help a friend to this degree. and to me, a friendship has few limits. there are even people for whom i'd help hide the bodies if it came to it. (that's sort of a joke). the sad part is people who marry for love thinking that love is all they need and then get in to the marriage and discover it takes work.
01:20 PM on 05/17/2012
You are so right! I have retracted my opinion on this. Allow me to eat all the egg on my face.

If there is one thing i like best about Huffpost is that people let me know when i am being a smaller person than i wish to be. I stand corrected!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Auracle
I'd rather be anything but ordinary, please
08:19 PM on 05/15/2012
And how many people get married because of pregancy, because somehow that's going to keep them together?

And it sounds to me not that they got married to keep the friendship strong, but so that Emir wouldn't have to leave the country and be forced to return to society where his homosexuality would put him in danger of harm that few would be concerned about, because it is expected that gays should be harmed.
01:16 PM on 05/17/2012
Point well taken! Thank you for opening my mind a bit more.
06:00 PM on 05/15/2012
Why do peole always say or write, "So and so WAS gay." Is he not gay any more? Why don't they say "So and so IS gay." He is and always will be.
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starchildjg24
Balance, Logic and Humor Rule
07:10 PM on 05/15/2012
She doesn't mean was like past tense, she is employing common usage. "I knew he was going to be mad, but I bought the St. Bernard anyhow." Agreement of tenses. "I knew" is past tense, so you have to use was.
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bpdarling
Party of LOGIC and COMMON SENSE
07:41 PM on 05/15/2012
What business is it to ANYONE whether the guy is gay or not? It's one man and one woman.....so as long as the Republicans say it's OK, then it must be OK.