Lloyd Garver has written and produced television shows ranging from "Sesame Street" to "The Bob Newhart Show:" to "Family Ties" to "Home Improvement" to "Frasier." He has written columns for the Opinion page of cbsnews.com, "The Kansas City Kansan," "The Denver Post," "The Santa Monica Daily Press," "The San Francisco Examiner," Crawford Texas' "The Lone Star Iconoclast," and "The Jewish Journal." He swears that he has never written a column while on steroids or other performance-enhancing drugs. All right, once he took some Human Growth Hormone, but it gave him gas.

Blog Entries by Lloyd Garver

Wisconsin Has a Bug

2 Comments | Posted December 21, 2009 | 05:52 PM (EST)


We all know that states have "official" animals, birds, and flowers. Until I did a little research, I didn't know that there were also state insects, amphibians, and reptiles. For example, the state insect of New York is the ladybug, Missouri's reptile is the three toed box turtle, and the...

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The Heels Who Caused The Recession?

4 Comments | Posted November 13, 2009 | 07:00 PM (EST)


There are many theories about what caused the current recession. Some feel it had to do with sneaky mortgages. Others believe it was the result of greedy Wall Street. And there are those who always look for somebody to blame who believe our financial problems are the result of the...

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Dogs versus Toddlers

2 Comments | Posted November 6, 2009 | 05:27 PM (EST)



Just about everybody who owns a dog thinks their dog is smart. I've never really felt that way about any of the dogs I have had. I found the dogs were lovable, cute, loyal, cuddly, and great company, but I never thought of them as that smart. I...

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Air Sickness

2 Comments | Posted November 1, 2009 | 01:41 PM (EST)


When I first heard about those two pilots who recently overshot the Minneapolis airport by over 100 miles, I was stunned. However, when they said the reason they weren't paying attention to flying was because they were looking at one of their personal laptops, I just nodded my head, knowingly....

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Good Neighbor Policy

1 Comments | Posted October 25, 2009 | 04:40 PM (EST)



There is a "Neighboring Gap" going on in our country. As opposed to previous generations, many people don't know their neighbors. They'll almost brag that they don't know the people who live next door. I wonder if this is a "trickling down" of the philosophy over the past...

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The French Love Us

1 Comments | Posted October 8, 2009 | 08:39 PM (EST)



I always try to embrace the difficult and the easy writing assignments with the same gusto. If I have a hard job, I stare at that job and make sure that I don't blink first. Keeping this absurd mixed metaphor in mind, I went to France recently on...

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They'd Rather Text Than Eat

1 Comments | Posted September 15, 2009 | 12:41 PM (EST)


We all know people who act like they would rather text or check the internet than eat. The airlines have noticed this, too. A new survey suggests that more business travelers would choose an airline with WiFi service over flights with meals, free movies, or even convenient arrival times. I...

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Health Care Plan For Doctors

1 Comments | Posted August 27, 2009 | 07:14 PM (EST)


There are geriatric programs now that encourage medical students to spend 10 days or so in a nursing home -- as patients. They are given a "pretend" disease and diagnosis, and if that means living in a wheelchair and eating a special diet, that's what they do. One student who...

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Gov't Wants To Dine With You

2 Comments | Posted August 20, 2009 | 05:20 PM (EST)


The public debate over health care has become increasingly contentious. There is a group of people that doesn't want the government to be involved in anything having to do with their health. They seem to conveniently forget about Medicare, but that's their right. I recently learned that there is a...

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Porn Business Is Sagging

15 Comments | Posted August 14, 2009 | 04:22 PM (EST)


Like many businesses, porn has fallen on hard times. Sales of sexy DVDs have dropped drastically, and the porn producers aren't making it up on the internet. Big porn actresses -- most of whom seem to be named Savanna or Savannah - are being paid less to have more sex....

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Will "Clunkers" Save The Economy?

5 Comments | Posted August 6, 2009 | 07:54 PM (EST)


Even those who thought it up were surprised by how successful the "Cash for Clunkers" program was. Not me. I knew it would be huge. This wasn't because I thought it would be so easy for people to take advantage of it. In fact, it wasn't. There are rules. For...

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Obama: Illegal President?

2 Comments | Posted July 31, 2009 | 06:49 PM (EST)


Generally, the main reason that a conspiracy theory exists is that it's difficult to disprove. So you may think it strange that this year's big one has been able to survive. I'm talking about the notion that Barack Obama was not really born in the United States and that there...

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Was Bush Right About Iraq?

2 Comments | Posted July 16, 2009 | 07:13 PM (EST)


Some of the criticism George W. Bush and his administration received when they began the war against Iraq was that they were trying to force our culture on the Iraqi people. President Bush might not have even disagreed with this, since he seemed to preach that our culture was the...

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Virtual Rejection

Posted July 9, 2009 | 06:19 PM (EST)


For the past couple of months, I've been feeling a great deal of shame and embarrassment. Now it's gotten too difficult for me to hold those feelings inside, so I'm going to spill my guts: a woman on Facebook unfriended me.

You've all heard of Facebook and its brothers and...

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A Straight-Shooting Pastor

50 Comments | Posted July 2, 2009 | 10:09 PM (EST)


Whenever I write a column about guns, I get at least a few responses from people who don't call me names, who use proper grammar, and present their arguments in a reasonable manner. So when I heard that a pastor in Louisville, Kentucky had a "Bring Your Gun To Church...

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Obama's Smokescreen

3 Comments | Posted June 25, 2009 | 09:30 PM (EST)


What's the biggest secret that the President and his Administration tried to keep from us? Was it about health care? Did it deal with foreign-policy? Was it where he hides the key to the front door at Camp David? No, it's about whether the President still smokes cigarettes.

The other...

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Obama's Food Problem

1 Comments | Posted June 19, 2009 | 12:20 AM (EST)


It's been over a month since President Obama and Vice President Biden snuck out from the White House to have some burgers for lunch. However, we haven't heard the last word about this controversial act. It has been pushed off the front page because the headlines have been hogged by...

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Iran Election

Posted June 15, 2009 | 05:11 PM (EST)


Some people keep insisting that an American-style democracy can be developed anywhere in the world, including the Mideast. Up until this weekend, they were encouraged
by the fact that Iran was having a presidential election. Now that the election is over, the party in power has declared that...

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Even Crooks Are Depressed

3 Comments | Posted June 12, 2009 | 03:04 PM (EST)


You may think that crime has gone up in these dark economic times when more and more people are out of work and fewer and fewer people have money. That hasn't been the case.

Generally speaking, most types of crime have declined nationally during the past year. There are many...

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Hummers To The Rescue?

Posted June 5, 2009 | 05:19 PM (EST)


If I heard that someone had actually bought a Hummer in this day and age, I'd consider that big news. So when I heard that someone actually bought the entire company, the Hummer brand, I considered it enormous news. No, it wasn't bought by the great Hummer-lover Governor Schwarzenegger. As...

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