I live in the country 100 yards off a small lane. A few days ago the snowstorm came through and as it finished depositing its 24" of snow, I looked out the window at the driveway and thought to myself, we're snowed in for at least the next four days. Then, I heard the sound of a tractor and up the driveway came Paul, a farmer who lives nearby. He waved, cheerily, plowed my driveway, and went on to the neighbors' (not charging a penny for his work). Paul is a small man with ears that stick out and an impish grin on his face. He always seems to find life interesting and good. In this area there are many wealthy landowners and as a psychotherapist I have seen a lot of them in my office. They have, materially, much more than Paul, but they have great difficulty trying to grasp what Paul has everyday in his life -- peace.
So, if peace is the goal, how does one come by it? If it were easy, everyone would be walking around with a smile on their face, content with their work and their life. However, we know this is not the case and, in reality, is a rare thing to find.
I've found, over the years, a basic truth/formula that points me towards the goal -- Goodness brings Peace. Have you ever noticed that some people, like Paul, have a twinkle in their eye? They never seem to get too upset about anything and they tend to be wonderful listeners -- you feel that they are truly interested in what you are saying not just tolerating your words. There is a certain quality to these people. I never hear them bad-mouthing others. My father was this way. I cannot remember one single instance when I heard him belittle a person or find fault with one. I took it for granted, then; but now, after all these years, I find it a very rare quality indeed. A wise man once told me that even if we did nothing of great merit during our lifetimes, if we caused no harm to others in words or deeds, our lives would be exalted.
Earlier in my life I went on a spiritual search, away from this country for 10 years living in Europe and Asia. I was looking for the answer to the question: What is the purpose of my life? During this time I met a number of 'great masters' and spent a year in a Zen monastery but came back to this country still puzzled about my life and its purpose. I had given up on gurus, yogis, and spiritual teachers.
Some years after my return -- ironically (only 20 miles from my home) -- I did find a true sage with whom I spent 12 years until his death in 1986. One day I asked him the purpose of my life and he gave this answer:
"Have a melting heart and serve others with that melting heart."
Several years before, in India, I had sought out the spiritual wisdom of a greatly beloved Bengali saint, Shree Ananda Mayi Ma. I asked her, "How do I love?" Her answer was, "Love is service to others; you may serve others." I had been perplexed by her answer and asked,"How do I serve others?" Her answer was simple,"With your body".At the time I dismissed her answer.It was not what I had expected or wanted -- I had wished for a more esoteric path.
So,10 years later,a man of true wisdom, a sage of the highest order was telling me the same thing -- "Serve others with a melting heart."As I write this I think back on my spiritual search and the countless number of teachers,gurus,yogis -- each with a different path to enlightment -- most requiring physical or mental disciplines.mantras, asanas, and the like. I had practiced a number of these disciplines but had not received the peace I was searching for. True, I did become calmer and more focused but I was still far from the state I desired and I questioned the methods I was using.
So often this quality of peace is something we confuse with getting what pleases us, like grabbing for the gold ring on the merry-go-round. If we get it we get another ride free. Or if we win the lotto, or our favorite NFL team wins, or we find a $10 bill in the sidewalk. There are so many ways life can make us happy. But, this state of mind is temporary and fragile and may pass quickly if a tiny speck of dirt gets in our eye. The true quality we need is the underlying current of peace which remains vibrant even if we don't get a pleasant surprise or we experience hardship -- in fact it seems to shine especially when things don't go well and takes adversity in its stride. The Buddhists say: "The mind is by its nature restless but you are not the mind." The mind changes every second from hot to cold and good to bad but this essence deep down at the core of our being does not. The thing I have come to understand is that we can build this core by our actions and thoughts and the resulting peace is a direct byproduct of our efforts.
There is a wonderful paragraph in the Tao Te Ching (an ancient Chinese book of wisdom) which states:
When I first read this passaqge I knew in my heart it was true but I didn't understand why.Now,I do.When adversity hits it forces us to practice good qualities like patience,tolerance,forgiveness,compassion,wisdom and understanding.I asked the wise man once How do we see God? This was his answer."You can't see god;no one can.Even Moses saw only a burning bush and heard a voice.
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