THE BLOG
05/07/2013 12:24 pm ET | Updated Jul 07, 2013

Divorced, But Living Together

With the difficult economy, you hear about more and more couples who get divorced and find themselves still living under the same roof. Often, this is due to financial issues and the inability to sell their home (probably their largest single asset) in a bad real estate market.

With few options available, the most obvious one is for two people to live together in the family home as they wait for it to sell. If you have children, I think this situation must be really difficult to maneuver . The divorce is confusing enough for kids to understand without compounding the problem by their parents still living together. If there are no children, it may be easier to take this path for a short while. Either way, I can't imagine it being a picnic living with your ex after a divorce. If you are forced to do this for the time being, here are some tips that may help keep the household peaceful.

*You Have to Set a Time Frame: If you have to live with each other for financial reasons, you have to set a time frame for this adventure. If you can't sell your home within that time frame, then maybe you both should rent it and get your own seperate apartments.

*You Need to Stay On Track: Living with your ex-spouse can be quite distracting. Moving forward can really be difficult. You can't let your ex disturb your plans for a new life.

*You Must Share the Bills: If you're going to live together after a divorce, you need to share the bills in whatever way your divorce settlement states.

*You Should Cook for Yourself: You may have cooked for your spouse, but no more of that. It's probably better if you just prepare meals for yourself. It will save you from interaction that could lead to arguments. Try setting times for each of you to use the kitchen.

*You'll Want to Keep Your Love Life Private: If you start dating again, it's better to leave your love life private. Even though the marriage is over, you don't need to complicate things by having a new lover at the house. It will be healthier for your new relationship if you keep things circumspect at home.

*You Can't Argue: If you have to live together that's one challenge. If you start arguing, it will be even more difficult. You need to keep things as peaceful as possible if you're going to live under the same roof.

*You Should Respect Each Other's Space: It's important for both of you to respect each other's space if you're living together after a divorce. Allowing each other the opportunity to be in your own designated rooms will keep the pressure down. Try splitting the house down the middle. For example, one person gets the living room and the other person gets the den...and so on. This may help you both.

For more helpful tips on how to deal with a divorce, pick up Lois Tarter's new book "The Divorce Ritual" by clicking here.