THE BLOG
06/11/2013 11:56 am ET Updated Aug 11, 2013

Talk Your Way Into Your Next Relationship

Married couples who don't communicate often find themselves in a divorce. Everybody needs a partner that they can talk with or they will begin to drift apart. If you don't communicate with your spouse, your spouse may look elsewhere. So if you got divorced, shouldn't you try to your best to communicate more effectively in your next relationship?

With texting, email, Facebook and Twitter, there are many ways to communicate without talking these days. And it seems like some people prefer these alternatives. Sure, sending a text instead calling does save time. However, talking is the best way to work out your problems, especially the ones that can damage your relationship. Remember, if you want to get married again you still have to say "I do" and you can't text it! Here are some ways to help you communicate better with your next partner.

You Must Spend Quality Time Together: Work, parenting and responsibilities will be a part of your life, but you still need to have fun with that special someone. When you are spending quality time together make sure to reduce the calls and texts you both make.

You Need to Look At Your Date: I have been out to dinner and notice couples texting instead of speaking with each other. Make sure you look up from your phone and communicate with your date.

Your Voice Should Be on Your Voicemail: If you want to encourage phone calls and not just texts with other people, then you should have your voice on your message announcement and not just a mechanical recording provided by your phone company. This will be much more personal.

You Have to Return Calls: The popular thing these days is to call someone and then they text you back. A text is not a return call! If someone leaves you a voicemail take the time to call them back. It's courteous and keeps the communication moving forward.

You Can Communicate By Example: By communicating in your new relationship you are setting the right example for your children. They will learn that talking is better than texting and when you speak with someone you can more easily figure out solutions to problems

You Shouldn't Give the Silent Treatment: If you're in an argument in your new relationship, you shouldn't give the other person the silent treatment or not return their call. This will only build things up to an even bigger and more emotional argument. Call your partner back on the phone and work through it.

For more information about dating again after your divorce, pick up Lois Tarter's new book "The Divorce Ritual: Get Up, Get Out and Get On With Your Life" by clicking here.

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