This Mensa Moment Is Brought To You by G. Gordon Liddy

07/02/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Dear Sirius Satellite Radio,

Thank you for giving G. Gordon Liddy his own radio show. Because when I need to hear the facts, entertaining theories and clever witticisms, that's where I go.

Why, just last week, Liddy proved his ability to discuss a topical event in a classy yet comical way. President Obama had come out with his nominee for Supreme Court, Judge Sonia Sotomayor. Of course, the media, politicians and public opinion went into overdrive. Some claimed she would be the perfect candidate for diversity. Others called her a militant with her own agenda. Still another batch claimed her too much of a mystery to be confirmed.

Who to believe?

Luckily for us, it was Liddy to the rescue. He simply reminded his listeners that they didn't need a scholarly debate regarding Judge Sotomayor. I mean, who really cares if this woman can apply the constitution to key judgments? G. Gordy-Poo told us to get down to really important question: what would this woman do if it were "that time of the month?"

Now that's profoundly funny, ain't it?

It hadn't even occurred to me that we should worry about Judge Sotomayer's possible monthly hysteria. Although, why would it, being female myself. Luckily, we have the big thinkers like G. Gordon Liddy around to warn us of such pitfalls, in such an hilarious manner. Behold the brilliant insight he shared regarding Judge Sonia Sotomayor:

Let's hope that the key conferences aren't when she's menstruating or something, or just before she's going to menstruate. That would really be bad. Lord knows what we would get then.

That's Komedy with a "K." But, man he's right. This is more serious my little pea brain originally thought. I hadn't really considered the depth of the consequences like Old Professor G-Man had. We may have to eat excess chocolate if Sotomayor gets this nomination. Or all men may be forced to live silently in a garage for 3 days a month. Heaven forbid the consequences to the Supreme Court of said nominee goes through menopause. What havoc would she raise during hot flashes? I do wonder why Liddy never brought up this danger before. I'm guessing this means that Justices Sandra Day O'Connor and Ruth Bader Ginsberg are really cyborgs? Ah, but that's another article.

But what do I know. I don't have the same pristine reputation as Mr. Liddy. It's not like he has any skeletons in his closet, save maybe that pesky little Watergate / prison misunderstanding.

It's a good thing Sirius didn't give me a radio show. I would just say snide, offensive, junior high comments, like, "What the hell does Liddy know? He's losing his mind faster than he's losing his hair." Or "Well, if we have to stop for one judge's period, do we shut down hourly for the male judges if they get physically aroused? I mean, how can they make serious decisions if the little head is thinking for the big head.'

See, but that's just me. Apparently, I'm not as classy as Liddy. Count your lucky stars Liddy's got microphone, America.