Today, Talk About America's Future with a Veteran

Last summer, a friend of mine who is a Marine Corps Reservist shipped out for his second tour in Iraq. He sent a moving email the night he boarded his flight out of the USA--detailing the crowds of well wishers from the community; tearful thank yous and hands clasping his as the Marines walked across the tarmac to their transport. I asked him how that made him feel. Here's his response...

"It's a rather humbling sort of thing to experience, and you really have no idea how to react. It is great to know that what you're doing is so valued. But at the same time, you (or at least I) feel very awkward over the whole thing.

I of course reply with a "thank you". But I also struggle with an appropriate response that conveys that I wish they would do more than just thank me for my service and instead ensure they do service themselves. Do they give money to help wounded vets? Do they deliberately vote and/or take some political action to ensure those who serve are treated appropriately by the government, given all the military (equipment, strategy, leadership) support they need to succeed at their mission, and only sent on missions worthy of the lives they risk in trying to accomplish them?

Even if it were appropriate for me to convey those sentiments (which it might not be) how do you do so in the ten seconds you have to respond, without coming across embittered and resentful to someone who just expressed such heart-felt concern? However, how sincere is such concern, if they are put-off by a (at least a carefully worded) response asking them to do much more than simply express verbal support and to take tangible action? I know a number of my military friends--as well as I--have wrestled with that idea for years, and it becomes more frustrating over time.

And just one more thought on service. I think that we as a society collectively fail to appreciate the service that many others do in other careers. I have tons of friends who have worked in poverty-stricken countries and war zones, not with a rifle, but effectively with a hammer and shovel struggling to put those places back together. Some have willingly gone to Iraq, Kosovo, Lebanon, Afghanistan, Nigeria, Sri Lanka, Darfur and Kenya without a weapon to defend themselves, yet risking their lives, to help the people there rebuild their worlds. Some of them have friends who were killed doing these jobs in danger zones around the globe. I have other friends who work as cops and as teachers, as firefighters, nurses and philanthropists. My previous co-workers all spend their days with the single-minded desired end-state of making life better, safer and more peaceful for others. I have friends and colleagues who work in government on Capitol Hill or Executive Branch agencies, making 1/3 of the salaries they could get in the business world, in order to help make the country a better place... and so I would just like to say that I think we should spend more time thanking all of them for their efforts, their sacrifices and sometimes their risks to their own lives. I know I'm proud to know them and call them my friends."

This Veteran's Day, Americans have the opportunity to do something more than say "thank you for your service." And the Obama election has opened all sorts of possibilities for improved understanding of our military--and its role in American democracy: From Michelle Obama's commitment to military families (and a promise to continue dialogue with them) to the realization that we need a long-neglected public discussion about the division of labor for national security in today's world.

Despite the nagging sense of unease about US direction in global affairs--most Americans still seem to associate security with the military and bigger defense budgets with purchasing more security. These linked perceptions must be severed, not in a harsh way, but in a persuasive way that points out the ends and the means...that we are not solving problems effectively this way. And besides, the military itself is the biggest evangelist for change--they know better than anyone else that our over-reliance on the use of force has become counter productive. We must find a better balance in our policies.

The military has accrued all sorts of tasks since the end of the Cold War (1991) for many reasons. It has the personnel, it has a "can do" culture, it doesn't actively engage in the policy debates, it is under the command of civilians, it has pretty much all the financial resources, (54% of discretionary budget) it plans ahead of time. It is a thinking organization that hates surprises. etc. etc. And there has been no truly consequential debate on this question of balance between civilian and military for decades. (Civilians are everyone who is NOT in uniform). I sat in on many hearings in Congress in the '90s and the officers coming back from peacekeeping missions would try to talk about cultural-societal observations. Their statements often pointed to the need for low-tech items...things that didn't fit into the sparkly, rocket fixated fantasy life of the Armed Services Committee or the Members' insistence that the commies were still coming. One officer briefed us on the need for mountain bikes for community policing in Bosnia and sewing machines for a women's co-op in Kosovo. This together with the comment that the US government had to ship in gravel for roads in the Balkans because the US tanks were too big... A Justice Department guy told us of the need for uniforms for rehabbing the Somali police because the symbolism just of the uniforms would work wonders for crowd control--these were disjointed, cacophonous tidbits that pointed to dramatic, drastic change. But Congress did not bite.

All this self-imposed ignorance was made worse by the Bush administration's 8 years of frightening Americans for electoral purposes. Such an atmosphere makes critical dialogue about the military--dialogue that ensures the very survival of the institution--seem subversive. So nobody talks.

The lack of seriousness among elected leaders about the military's role in our democracy has put us where we are today: sorely lacking informed public debate on national security and what it means to serve just when today's threats put us beyond the protection of the armed services. The military has done everything we've asked. Now the ball is in the civilian's court. And there is something every individual can do about it. Talk to a veteran about service.

Last June, I co-authored a book with my friend Lt Col Dana Eyre USAR. It's called "A Woman's Guide to Talking About War and Peace" and it offers basic instructions about how to set up a community dialogue with veterans about pressing national issues. It is free online here.

Comments

[Synoia]

I have friends and colleagues who work in government on Capitol Hill or Executive Branch agencies, making 1/3 of the salaries they could get in the business world...their sacrifices and sometimes their risks to their own lives.

Yes, but its not 1/3 when benfits are included - great health care plans & full pensions after 30 years.

[Quitcherbichin]

Let me set the record straight about those "great pensions". My brother retired from a federal agency with 30 years of service. His total retirement pay comes to exactly 56.5% of his highest 3 years of earnings. That is a joke. I know scads of folks who retired from state, parish, and local government jobs with percentages up to 100% of high three.

So don't go around buying all that pap about great the federal retirement system is. It is baloney.

[berrycooda]

GOD BLESS THE VETERANS AND THE MILITARY.....ALSO THOSE STILL IN ARMY HOSPITALS...
Not only on veterans day but everyday, say a prayer for them and their families.

If it wasn't for the brave soldiers who defend America, it could be a lot different today.

Don't ever underestimate what the American military (past and present) has done for us.
Many who don't even know a veteran or military man, have a lot to learn about the freedom
they have in this country.
It is because of a lot of brave men and women who joined the military.
In past wars, many were drafted, but still went on to do what was expected of them.

They are all heroes.

[graygrammarian]

Obama gives me some hope that we will begin to respond to the international community with less bellicosity, and to reduce our military. The military takes so much of our budget, and we need to reduce that amount and build alliances around the world that will enable us to gradually diminish our vast military presence.

[WilliamL]

I lived on military bases for 18 years, Vietnam era, 65-83. I have worked with the Dems., the labor movement labor unions, and orgs. considered left and liberal. As with any organization, there are those who know their history and at least try to understand fact on the ground.

The majority of those I met, worked with after leaving the last base I lived on have a very limited understanding of the role of the military, people who join the military, and the culture has a whole. I have tremendous respect for soldiers, what they do, the sacrafices they make, and understand that without them, like it or not, this economy and these recent elections would not exist.

Although I can understand the lack of understanding most civilians have regarding the military, I can not and do not have any patience with the ugliness, nastiness, and hatefulness of certain members of the liberal community and many civilians towards military members and their families. I have dealt with such my entire life.

This soldiers shows respect towards those in society who serve the greater good, serve those who are unable to defend themselves, who act outside of their own self interest and still some still can be decent. Thank you very is in order to some of you.

Enjoy your day and all the rights and privaleges which have been achieved as a result of the sacrafices of others.

[HugoNorton]

HuffPost's Pick

This is a day to offer our thanks to those who have put their lives on the line to fight for the many liberties that we citizens enjoy. The men and women from all the conflicts that have been fought over the last century or so have served with bravery and honor, and have done so by risking their lives.

Wouldn"t it be nice, though, if there was a passage of time where there were no new veterans. Where our nation, and those sharing the planet with us, opted to resolve our differences through negotiation, and we fought no wars for generations . What if 100 years passed and we did not fight a war?

The United States military is the finest in the world. When motivated, and fighting a just war, we are pretty much undefeated. When, however, we fight wars that are the result of leaders who have misunderstood their responsibility, the results are a mixed bag. I am hopeful we can end, soon, the ongoing creation of new veterans, and that the future leaders of this country will understand that the enormous might of the United States military carries with it the enormous responsibility of using only when there is no other option. We have become cavalier in our decisions to go to war. Here"s hoping we can go 100 years before fighting, so that we can fully appreciate the veterans we already have, without adding to their numbers.

Check out: http://critpatriot.blogspot.com/

[DirkNLExpat]

I am a Vietnam Veteran that can tell you America will never be a modern up to date country as long as it keeps up wars of aggression like Vietnam and Iraq.

When are the American people going to wake up to the fact that no one wants to be like you and NO ONE wants to take over the country.

The true veterans worthy of respect are WWII and WWI vets. The rest of us were only doing our duty and in fact were part of a war crime.

[gabemill]

We did what our country asked us to do, my Brother......that is honorable.
When the leadership that we trust/want to trust commits us to action, while ignoring options that may prove beneficial, that is the war crime.

Nam Vet

[artiemisspilgrim]

I remember shipping my husband off to Vietnam... it had to have been one of the hardest things I have ever done.... and the prayer's I said over the months while waiting for his return. Many a family has done the same since King Phillip's War in the 1660's in the colonies. It is never easy to send your loved one off to certain danger and wondering if they will ever come home alive. This latest group is no exception to this. While more maybe making it home alive, many are suffering dearly with lack of proper medical care, no thanks to the Republican's in this last Congress. My husband has gone to bat for several of them...he is an attorney and a veteran, so he really understands. While we both have been against the War in Iraq, we have also been very supportive of the troops, no matter where they are serving, state side or overseas... in or out of a War zone. We can't thank them enough for their willingness to put their lives not only on hold, but on the line, too. We will keep saying prayers until the last one is home and safe and sound... and more for those who haven't made it home or never will. Thank you so much for you love of country and your families, too.

[sposton]

Do military people ever question the sanity of supporting American Empire around the world? What are some of the benefits to American people to our 700+ forward bases and several hot wars?

[rmm4402]

To each other - yes they do.

In between rotations there are some lively discussions about why we do what we are doing sometimes. Of course we don't view it as an Empire. If you had ever witnessed the interaction between the US military and the cilvialians who live near those 700+ forward bases you would find the relationship is anything but imperial.

However while questioning the right, the military industrial complex and assorted chickenhawks - we also get a good laugh at your Code Pink types, your 9/11 conspiracy theorists and assorted academic intellectiuals who view us a bunch of chumps and who feel sorry for us because we have no other life options and/or are just too stupid to realize that we are all just a bunch of pawns.

If you knew the military at all you find that it is fairly middle of the road. Most of us realize that while we are not always right - we help a hell of a lot more than we hurt.

As far as the benefits to the American people - as our new C in C so aptly put it when questioned on when life begins...."that's above my pay grade".

[sposton]

I understand why you'd get me wrong but I am not a Code Pink type at all. I am more of a conservative type that questions the rationale why things are the way they are well beyond "my pay grade". If we Americans don't start asking a lot of "why" questions I believe we are done as a nation of free people.

I don't question the people who serve, but I do question what our country is doing with our military. I've been asking questions of myself that only a few years ago I wouldn't had asked.

[Russycle]

Yes they do. There's a discharged Marine in my town who might get called back for a third tour in Iraq, he's saying he'd rather go to jail.

http://www.gtconnect.com/articles/2008/11/11/news/community/6aaa04_lewissnd.txt

[JALKO]

You thank the VET for taking the oath and the way I fell that oath is a life long commitment. After fifty years of failed forigein policy, the VET has every right to stand up and voice their opinion about what is right or wrong in America. They paid the price and should be listened to their opinions. Being a VET is not partisan. It is a love of country and a voice that is heard everyday. Right or wrong , We have paid the price.

[jrockbg]

I am a supporter of the Iraq war but I respect and admire when servicemen and women speak their mind. I was however dissappointed that you used this forum to make a partisan swipe. I think the weight of your words are much more substantial without it. Moreover, you used a veteran's words to try to give that cheap shot some cred.

The reason you thank a vet is because they take an oath to defend the constitution. They take an oath to defend this country from foreign and domestic enemies, whether they are called to do so or not. THAT is why you thank a vet. They made a choice to not be involved in shaping policy, but the implementation of policy. And they did so knowing it will steer the course of our nation, and maybe even cost them their life.

So leave the partisan jabs out of this-that's my advice.

[Lorelei Kelly - Huffpost Blogger]

you're right. I shouldn't have done that. I made the same mistake that I accuse others of and I will be more careful next time. thx for the head's up. LK

[jrockbg]

I was impressed with the detail and nuance in this blog. It was a fun read till you blamed Bush for something every president struggles with.

Our military is put upon a pedastal of sorts. They are experts at what they do, especially the Joint Chiefs. Couple those points with the fact that they are literally the best in the world at what they do, it's an intimidating thing for a president to go against what they recommend. In recent history, I think it's fair to say that Republican presidents relied too heavily on the opinion of the Joint Chiefs and the Democratic presidents didn't heed them enough.

That said I love this topic. Obama will have his struggles with the Joint Chiefs as well. Democratic presidents love their domestic agenda and foreign policy can be a killjoy to that. No president is ever gonna perfectly handle our military. Clinton light military hand ignored a gathering threat. G W Bush's heavy hand has cost us allies in a fight on terror that must be won. But the struggle will always remain.

The one comfort I can bring you is this. Our servicemen and women love our country and its citizens more than they admire their officers. You will never have to worry that the US military will keep US citizens interest at heart. So while presidents may struggle with the proper use of our military, they never have have to fear it.

A vet

Operation Iraqi Freedom-2005

[Pdubya]

I am a veteran and I do not support the Iraq War (in policy terms). But, I do agree with you regarding the political opportunity taken. Defending the constitution is non-partisan. How I wish our representatives would live up to their oath.