This article has been co-written with Michele Sinisgalli-Yulo of Princess Free Zone.
It's hard to admit it, but we need you. We need you to join the effort to end gender stereotypes and the exploitation of women and young girls. They are being sexualized around the globe in alarmingly rising numbers and alarmingly widespread ways. It is alarmingly invisible because it is alarmingly ubiquitous.
In making the case for more male voices, particularly from business leaders, politicians, and thought leaders, there are immediate obstacles:
• How do women avoid being seen as male bashers, uptight feminists, mommies with too much time on their hands, women with some irrational hatred of pink sparkly things, or all of the above?
• Is there a way to effectively develop a partnership between women and men within a grassroots movement that is still very much under the radar, despite the hard work of a great many individuals?
"This is often seen as a women's issue or parenting issue," says Melissa Wardy, owner of Pigtail Pals - Redefine Girly. "It is an issue of civil rights, as our children are having their childhoods cut short by marketers turning them into lifetime consumers." So much is at stake, and this is a time for unity, not divisiveness.
It brings to mind a favorite quote of a dear male colleague:
When nothing seems to help, I go and look at a stonecutter hammering away at his rock perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred and first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not that blow that did it, but all that had gone before. ~Jacob August Riis
Each individual can only do what he or she can do, but together, we can make a difference over time, and one never knows which blow of the hammer will split the rock.
Perhaps men (and lots of women, too) simply have not thought these issues all the way through. For example, do we all understand the problems represented by:
• the "pinkification" of girlhood?
• the recent study using Rolling Stone magazine covers as a window onto the marked rise in intensely sexualized and objectified images of women?
• the exploitation of 10-year-old French model Thylane Loubry Blondeau, who was posed in a highly sexualized manner for French Vogue?
We must all push the boundaries of societal messages that tell us certain things are the way they are just because. Because girls like pink and boys like blue (and gender-segmenting the toy and clothing market is doubly profitable). Because women need to be thin and sexy from cradle to grave. Because men need to want women who are thin and sexy. Must the cycle continue?
Now, this being thus far primarily a women's movement that seeks to change how girls and women are perceived and marketed to, it currently appeals to mostly women. But boys and men are negatively affected too. Sexualization and the princess culture don't just hurt girls and women; they send the wrong messages to men and boys about the value of the outside over the inside, ultimately harming their relationships. And, when girls and women begin to objectify themselves for men and boys, they benefit from male support to see that this hurts everyone. Beauty Redefined offers some clear and direct action steps men can take who wish to help break this destructive cycle.
Men should be concerned about this--after all, they have daughters, wives, mothers, sisters and female friends. Many men do care--greatly! --as girl empowerment groups like 7Wonderlicious and boy advocacy groups like The Achilles Effect recognize. The Good Men Project understands what's at stake extremely well, and fortunately there really are a lot of good men out there. We thank them, but we need even more.
The fact remains that money and corporate power still rest largely in the hands of men, so we need to appeal to the consciences and social responsibility of the male power brokers who can create initiatives to curtail the objectification of girls and women in corporate advertising. An article in Forbes Corporate Social Responsibility blog discusses how companies should behave "responsibly and ethically toward society as a whole," saying, "In a world with a shifting social consciousness and women accounting for 85% of all consumer purchases, it is astounding that such blatant sexism still abounds in the marketplace." Astounding, indeed. But there is talk of consequences to those who don't practice what they preach in the form of downgrade to a company's CRR (Corporate Responsibility Rating). Could this be one possible solution?
As fathers, men have considerable influence over how their daughters' psyches develop. Even when a father innocently calls his daughter his "little princess," there are implications. According to Tanith Carey, author of Where Has My Little Girl Gone?, it's all about helping our girls grow into happy adults who do not judge themselves by looks and sexuality alone.
In her book Our Fathers, Ourselves, Dr. Peggy Drexler, professor of psychology and psychiatry, provides an in-depth look at father/daughter relationships and the often-tangled outcome when daddy's little girl grows up: "She may look like a woman, but she's still his little girl, helpless and vulnerable and in a perpetual need of his savoir faire and protection."
Men seem almost hardwired to view women as damsels in distress, often with the best intentions. There are some excellent resources in the form of websites and blogs that offer helpful advice from fathers. Joe Kelly's The Dad Man, which includes a segment called "Dads and Daughters," is a great place to start for fathers who really want to understand their girls and play a positive role in their development.
It is so important to acknowledge the many men who are in the trenches with women. Stephen Colbert's recent tirade against Summer's Eve and those ridiculously sexist and racist commercials comes to mind. In addition to being an extraordinarily funny piece of satire, it also spurred Summer's Eve to pull the offensive ads. Even one man can be pivotal to bringing about change.
There are other glimmers of hope. The AMA has passed a new policy that limits Photoshopping that deliberately alters female images to unrealistic proportions. A "Got Milk?" ad was pulled for its inappropriate and offensive depiction of PMS. DC and Marvel comics are saying that they need more female writers and characters, which would be very helpful considering the latest graphic depiction of Wonder Woman. While this is all encouraging, so much more is needed.
So, why should men become more involved?
First, because men love their daughters, wives, mothers, sisters, and female friends.
Second, because corporate citizenship has never been more important than it is today.
And finally, for the most important reason of all: because it's the right thing to do.
Can women achieve the kind of widespread cultural change that is needed without men? We don't think so. So...
Calling all men: we need you! Come be part of this movement. This is not just a women's issue or a girls' issue. It's an everyone's issue.
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Religion, encourages and enables this, man as masters theory and practice.
Male attitudes and behaviors have been bred and sculpted as if men were the
overlords of all women.
"Sweeping remarks" such as this are relative because for years this was the case.
In the early years of the last century, keeping their women "in line" was the duty of all men.
Combined with the unapologetic travesty of biblical teachings, where men were accepted as the jealous masters of their women as chattel, this attitude and behavior, though attrition has translated into women accepting the role as the useable vessels, predicated to their "masters" demands, to serve and service their men for all purpose.
The phrase, "woman, know your place" was not so much a request as a warning.
My grandmother was murdered by a "god" fearing man who took his role as her husband very seriously.
His, to use and abuse as he saw fit in the eyes of the warped religious mens club society, he jealously beat her "for her own good" to show her the way of the lord through biblical expectations that she submit to her man.
Seeking police protection resulted in the police forcibly returning her to his "charge" with a warning to "keep his woman in line" as not to upset the other wives, resulted in her murder and his suicide.
Even women with unlimited financial resources accept their fate because they are told that nothing can be done for them – they should just simply accept being sick, tired and in pain all the time as a “normal” way of life because nothing can be done that will really resolve the problem. All are paralyzed by fear, fueled by shame, from seeking help.
Because of my vocation, I see this often; but I still can’t get my arms around it. It makes me wonder if we are indeed a civilized nation after all.
On the other hand, these women have a lot of company. The people who suffer from stroke, traumatic brain injury and post-traumatic stress disorder (especially combat veterans who sustain blast injuries from IEDs) have been institutionally cowed into believing that there is limited hope for them. In my estimation, this is a crime of unbelievable proportions because it is not true!
New understandings in biophysics have fostered the development of energetic and other innovative technologies which can and do help people with traumatic injuries heal to a greater degree than ever before imagined possible. It is time for these women to break the chains of fear that have bound the courage of so many and kept them from asking for help.
I am a father of two wonderful, strong daughters and a brave, courageous son. As a father of daughters, I am literally horrified by the whole idea that up to 30% of all the women in the United States will have suffered a traumatic emotional injury severe enough to result in post-traumatic stress disorder and likely a functional traumatic brain injury by the time they are sixty years old.
Traumatic emotional injuries occur as the direct result of physical or sexual abuse, as well as from sustained emotional abuse, witnessing or being part of traumatic events, and even plain old neglect over time. The truly terrible aspect of these injuries is that they often occur when a girl is young and helpless. Unfortunately, we all know the damage that can do to a child’s sense of safety, self-worth and trust. These injuries can also damage the brain in specific areas related to memory and learning, thus potentially compromising academic and vocational success. These injuries exert real and lasting effects which, over time, can saddle women abused in childhood with an escalating cascade of chronic diseases.
Many women are left alone to suffer and fight traumatic emotional injuries and PTSD in silence.
The problem of sexualization is huge, and yes, corporations will exploit people for profit if nothing stops them. However, think back 50 years. EVERYONE smoked. And then, a whole bunch of things happened that, together, greatly cut down on the presence of cigarettes and smoking in daily life, and a lot of lives were saved. Here's what happened:
1. It was proven to cause cancer.
2. The Surgeon General came out against it and ordered warning labels.
3. Smoking was banned in public places.
4. An age limit was instituted for buying cigarettes.
5. Heavy taxes were imposed.
6. TV ads were banned.
7. There began to be negative social pressure put on smokers.
8. Many governmental and non-governmental agencies joined together (e.g. American Cancer Society; Food & drug Administration)
All of these things hurt the mega-powerful and profit-driven tobacco industry. But gradually, over many years, due to collaboration between many entities, smoking became negatively viewed. Yes, people still smoke, but NOTHING like they did in the 60's and before. We CAN make a difference, but it's going to take a lot of collaboration. Girls are dying of anorexia. Depression and other mental health problems are skyrocketing. No, corporations will not regulate themselves, but if pressure is put on them from multiple areas, they can be reined in. ANYTHING would help at this point! Change IS possible.
There are differences between tobacco consumption and sexualization of women and girls:
1) Sex itself is a natural and essential relationship between humans.
2) There are moments where sexualization is not harmful and is healthy between husband and wife.
Just like tobacco consumption, education is the key.
With the deterioration of religious influence and increasingly free and open society, the traditional "thou shall not" approach would not be effective anymore. Woman and girl s need to know why not be sexualized.
1) Being consider as an sexualized object is not good for long term relationship.
2) Promoting Healthy, physical and intelligently strong is beautiful. This will do away with anorexia, depression and most of the other mental health problem.
We always brag how women control the purse strings? Well, let's own it.
Who buys these fashion magazines? Who buys these clothes? Who buys the make up?
Consider how much sex is marketed to men...that they should be having it at all times and with as many partners as possible...and the idea that that would use that "pressure" as an excuse to give in and cheat.
I bet it becomes simple again.
Adults can stand up to pressure, and if not, yes...doubtful that their kid's will be able to do so.
It is no longer about men and women, it is about people together saying no more..
Sponsored Links 57 Year Old Mom Looks 27
Huffington Post Readers: Mom Reveals $5 Wrinkle Trick Angering Doctors
Daily-Lifestyles.com
This just perpetuates the notion that women need to always look young and outward appearances are the most important, going against the spirit of the article. I was disappointed after reading a great article such as this to see a Sponsor ad that was counter to the spirit of the message.