When I was a kid, St. Patrick's Day meant you wore a green shirt to school. That's it, end of story, Happy St. Patrick's Day, done deal.
Sure, there were stories of leprechauns, four leaf clovers, rainbows, shamrocks and pots of gold. Also, fine.
Holidays today have gotten totally out of control... I mean, think back to last month. When did Valentine's Day become Halloween II? Multiple store aisles worth of chocolates and gifts... am I really supposed to pass out pink and red fun-size Milky Way and Snickers bars? Good Lord.
And now, I have bought into the mommy holiday madness. For the past few years, here is what goes on at our house every St. Patrick's Day:
Yep, it's a damn leprechaun trap.
Who did this as a kid? Not me, not ever! Never heard of it. But somehow, I got it in my head that we needed to set a trap to catch one of these things and now all of the sudden I'm Irish (I'm Italian).
So here's the deal with the trap -- you will need:
Some "bait" (we use Lucky Charms cereal because duh, that's what leprechaun's eat) A tiny mug of beer (seriously) And lastly and most importantly... A giant mug of beer for yourself so you can quietly contemplate why you are running out to Safeway in your pajamas on a Sunday night to buy Lucky Charms for a friggin' leprechaun trap. And I don't want to spoil the surprise or blow the ending for you guys, but you're not going to catch anything in that trap, except maybe the ants who get lucky by carrying off the hearts, clovers and rainbow marshmallows you've willingly scattered all over your living room floor.
Once the kids are asleep and you've downed your third pint, it's time for the MAGIC to happen.
And by magic I mean you pull the ruler out and leave behind some of your hard-earned cash for your children. Coins. Or chocolate coins. And maybe some (ugh) glitter.
Because the leprechaun wants to say "thank you" for trying to "trap" him by leaving your kids a gift of chocolate, or money.
Seriously... who came up with this? Oh yeah... I'm pretty sure I did.
If Valentine's Day is now Halloween II, St. Patrick's Day is now a mix of Easter/Breakfast/The Tooth Fairy because of chocolate, cereal and glittery money.
In the end of course I love it... because they love it.
I also love finishing off an open bottle of beer that's been left by my children for a mythical fairy -- Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Support HuffPost
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
At HuffPost, we believe that everyone needs high-quality journalism, but we understand that not everyone can afford to pay for expensive news subscriptions. That is why we are committed to providing deeply reported, carefully fact-checked news that is freely accessible to everyone.
Whether you come to HuffPost for updates on the 2024 presidential race, hard-hitting investigations into critical issues facing our country today, or trending stories that make you laugh, we appreciate you. The truth is, news costs money to produce, and we are proud that we have never put our stories behind an expensive paywall.
Would you join us to help keep our stories free for all? Your contribution of as little as $2 will go a long way.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you’ll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.