I've never bought the "Men Are From Mars, Women are From Venus" shtick, but there are definitely some behaviors that are unique to each sex. I'm not talking about the obvious -- women spending hours applying make-up and primping before they leave the house or men taking their "morning constitutional." What I have in mind are innocent differences of the type Jerry Seinfeld would incorporate into a stand-up routine.
Here are some of my favorite odd behaviors that one sex engages in and the other would not be caught dead doing:
What Men Do:
• Pretend they watched sporting events when they didn't see just to seem cool to their friends.
• Wear T-shirts that are wrinkled, holey, and inside out.
• Grunt while lifting weights whether they need to or not.
• Smoke cigars and drink port to be manly.
• Helicopter into some godforsaken outback to fly fish with their buddies.
• Claim they're 6 feet, when they're really 5'9".
• Forget their wedding anniversary, Valentine's Day, and their wife's birthday.
• Show up in a gourmet restaurant with uncombed hair, wearing smelly jeans.
• Use the port-a-potty without getting grossed out.
• Not get bent out of shape when they check into a B&B and find out the bathroom is down the hall.
• Blow snot out of their noses and share it with the world.
What Women Do:
• Stay home because they have nothing to wear to the party.
• Engage in retail therapy.
• Get upset because they're having a bad hair day.
• Slink to the back in a group photo because they look too fat.
• Wait to go to the bathroom until their girlfriends need to go.
• Celebrate their girlfriends' birthdays by dining out and bringing gifts.
• Wear "cute" shoes that permanently deform their feet.
• Join a business networking group to make new girlfriends.
• Post pictures of their pets on Facebook.
• Remodel the kitchen just because .
Weigh in with your favorite sex-specific idiosyncrasies.
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