Are We Not Human? Diary from an Oxfam Aid Worker in Gaza City

Here is the daily blog from my colleague Mohammed Ali, an aid worker with Oxfam who operates in the Gaza strip:

Gaza City: The air, the sea and the earth in Gaza city are now occupied by the Israeli military. They occupy Gazans' minds, nerves and ears too. In a bid to stop my children twitching, jerking, trembling and waking at every sound of an attack during their few hours sleep and their many waking hours, I put cotton wool in their ears - it has not worked. I wonder what damage is being done to my children's tiny hearts, theirs are not as big as mine, they can cope less with the stress that is being put on them.

We ran out of fuel for our generator, which meant that we were confined to a small room filled with eleven people, with little light for three days. We have not had water either; our well can only pump water if it has electricity which most of the Gaza strip has been denied since this nightmare started.

Unlike many other families, we were fortunate yesterday to find twenty litres of benzene to power our generator. No fuel has come in since the onset of this attack on Gaza so we had to pay seven times its usual price.

We have one day left of food and the nappies I bought two weeks ago are nearly gone. They are not good quality as little has been able to enter this strip of land since the blockade was imposed on us eighteen months ago. Bad quality nappies means unpleasant leakages, and for the last few days the little ones have had to be bathed in freezing cold water.

My sister recently decided to return home in spite of our protests. She feared that with food reserves running out we might have to eat one meal a day rather than the two we have been having of late. At home she has a little food left, enough to keep her and her family going for a while longer.

We are now eleven, huddled together in my parents' dining room. My brother and I and our families moved there, thinking that the first floor may be the safest option. There is a saying in Arabic, which says, ' death in a group is a mercy', I guess if we die together maybe just maybe we will feel less of the pain than in doing so alone.

I have had 8 hours sleep since the beginning of this conflict; we can hear attacks almost every minute.

I think to myself, if one of us is injured or needs medical attention what will happen? Ambulances are finding it difficult to reach civilians, roads are blocked by rubble, Israeli forces in their path...you could bleed to death... even if they did get to us, maybe we would be bombed on our way to the hospital...if we did reach the hospital there might not be enough room to treat us...little medication or equipment we need or any electricity to fuel the life saving equipment...we would not even be able to get out of Gaza for the life saving treatment we needed.

Hospitals are now running on back up generators making life even more difficult for the doctors who are trying to cope with the influx of those injured. If fuel runs out for the generators, those on life saving equipment will perish.

I heard a woman calling up the radio today, ambulance services could not reach her. I guess she thought the radio station might be able to do something. She was wailing down the phone "our home is on fire, my children are dying...help me! " I do not know what happened to her and her children, I do not want to imagine.

I spend much of my time thinking that this could be the last hour of my existence... as I try to fall asleep, I hear on the radio the numbers of people who have died rising by the hour ... I wonder if tomorrow morning, I will be part of that body count, of the next breaking news... I will be just another number to all those watching the death and destruction in Gaza... or maybe the fact that I work for Oxfam will mean that I will be a name and not just a number... I might be talked about for a minute and moments later forgotten, like all those other people who have had their lives taken away from them.

I am not afraid of dying -- I know that one day we all must die. But not like this, not sitting idly in my home with my children in my arms waiting for our lives to be taken away. I am disgusted by this injustice.

What is the international community waiting for, to see even more dismembered people, and families erased before they act?

What is happening is against humanity. Are we not human?

Comments

[wadenelson1]

I AM the way and the truth and the light. Jesus.

Christianity offers the only solution to this conflict: Love thy enemy.

As long as it's an "Eye for an Eye" and whatever equivalent the Muslims believe, its hopeless. Ever increasing violence and revenge.

Is it any wonder Jesus was sent, and will one day return to the middle east?

[LillianB]

Read this. Then read the blog post from the Israeli woman who tells she is putting on weight because of overeating chocolate due to her fear from being bombed. Compare the living conditions of the two families and write a 200-word essay about the situation in Gaza.

Could anyone imagine that being an American exam question? Unfortunately, I can't. It would be too much of a breach with official policies...

[joeythetrollslayer]

I think Hamas is using civilians among them to further their cause. The sacrificial lamb. Israel is tired of the rockets, and being provoked, is responding, as Hamas knew it would. Israel is trying to win a military war, Hamas is trying to win a political war. In any military operation, civilians are always worse off. The difference now, is that every one is being filmed for propaganda. Hamas, have you no shame? Parade around the dead and dying? Israel, have you no conscience? Creating living conditions not fit for an animal by blockades?

[abdallac]

Oh my brother - my brother in humanity - if I could give all I own to make you and your precious family safe I certainly would. I am constantly rocking in tears and rage and helplessness - we are sending what money we can through ANERA - but the Israeli's are blocking everything.

So many, many people around the world are praying that you can walk out and see the sun again without fear of death or starvation. Not an hour passes without prayers for all of you. Be strong for your babies. Their hearts are Palestinian and they will grow up, insha'Allah, proud, strong and free.

[Zheegool]

On the one hand Israel complains of “thousands” of rockets terrorizing their civilians. On the other hand we know that these have resulted in 5 casualties.
So is it justified to murder 48 people because you suspect there may have been a terrorist firing a rocket from a school? Is it justified to murder 200 children so you can live safely on occupied territory that doesn’t belong to you? (http://www.theage.com.au/world/israeli-strikes-kill-48-in-school-refuges-20090107-7bcd.html?page=-1)
Are Palestinians not supposed to fight or resist this brutal oppression? Or is it just that we want them to keep throwing stones against the tanks and helicopters?

Israel has lost its moral compass and is now another fascist/apartheid state.
Fortunately evil and fascism is like a cancer that eventually kills itself, even if it does horrendous damage while it persists. Hopefully Israeli’s can find their moral compass and make peace before they destroy themselves, and like all other fascist regimes disapear from the face of the earth.

[cinemaven]

heartbreaking...

I don't know anyone who is a parent who hasn't thought of the impact on the children of Gaza. Even my friends who are the most ardent supporters of Israel are beginning to turn against this ....

My thoughts are with Mohammed Ali and his family.

[alexa07]

My family sends our wishes for your safety & that of your family, friends & co-workers. Thank you for sharing your story with Americans. You need to know that there is an increasing number of Americans who don't like what our govt is doing in support of Israel. There have been huge pro-Palestinian demonstrations not only abroad but for the first time in this country. Our leaders are not yet listening to our voices, esp. the Congress who shamefully as we speak are considering a resolution in support of the Israeli onslaught! The efforts of the majority at the UN who desire to aid the Palestinians also are shamefully being blocked by the two lone American & Israeli govts. Please do not become discouraged because many of us are praying for your survival. On Saturday, January 10th there will be demonstrations of protest held in New York, Washington, San Francisco & many other cities here, in Europe & Asia. Please keep safe in your country of Palestine! We want there to be better days ahead for you.

[scott63]

why did you elect Hamas? They have brought ruin to you all.

[baffy]

Why did Israel invade Palestine in 1967 and continue to occupy it for 41 years and counting? Please don't say that they left Gaza in 2005. When you totally control a territory (land, sea and air, food, fuel and medicine) you occupy it.

[SiberianRat]

How amazingly insensitive--cold cold cold.

[111]

You read about frightened, starving children and you look to defend the actions of the aggressors. You sound as if you are dead inside and programmed or paid to repeat propaganda.

You don't know how this person voted but it was not Hamas that brought ruin to Gaza. It was Israel and it is on Israel's shoulders alone. It is Israel that chose to make a concentration camp out of Gaza. It is the IDF who are the terrorists.

[murphy80]

its shock and awe, child killers now use tanks and supersonic planes...........

but the old tales still tell the truth.....­..........­..........­..........­..........­..........­..........­..........­...